[Yokuutsu]

Have you heard of harassment and how messaging a person over time can be considered it? It can. It's not worth it to possibly have police or a ton of drama just because someone won't talk to me. It's not that most of the time they ignore me, they never say anything....and I don't normally message people too often because it's the way I am, there's only a few I would message often, the people I considered friends (and some I consider friends I still don't message a lot because I feel like I'm bothering them-which cause someone to act way overdramatic and all) and now they don't ever reply. If they did reply once in awhile, I'd ask, because if something's up and they don't want to talk about it...I can leave them alone, or if they don't want to be friends and will say it, alright.

But another problem of if you want to be friends, you'll find a way...is the fact that I've realized that most people just like to lie about stupid stuff, and deceive, and cause too much drama (not that I'm drama free, but I've learned to not talk about that to people online too much)

[Poggio]

Okay first off how can people even know you are interested in talking if you don't message them? You just said you send out some messages and now you are saying that you don't?

And it all depends on what you say in those messages wheither they are harrassment or not. Clearly if internet messaging goes beyond having you blocked to the point of the police you don't want to be friends with them. That is kind of an asshole thing to do unless you are sending them stalker messages, then I understand.

Honestly there comes a time in your life when you need to learn to be proactive. I do not talk to people I do not want in my circle of friends. Period. I keep tabs on them, message them and they message me back. I make them to see them and we enrich each others lives. Assuming all people lie will never get you anywhere. yes some people do like but you have to just take that chance.

[Yokuutsu]

-headesk- If I never messaged them, then why would I complain that they ever messaged me back? I have to message them for them to ignore me.

Well, you wanna know where that assumption will get me? I won't be surprised or too hurt when it comes true. Kind of like how I knew my (now ex) boyfriend would cheat on me and with whom. I didn't say anything because I hoped it wouldn't happen (kind of like that thing you said with people lying), but then it happened with exactly who I knew it would...and it wasn't like they were close friends or anything. Now, if I had just accepted that would happen, it would have hurt a lot less. I'm just going with protection since it seems the best option nowadays.

Especially online when you can lie about everything you are and no one will know unless you let them know.

[Poggio]

Okay that is different, completely. If I see something coming I can either make plans to avoid it or try and fix it. You sould like you just let things happen to you. Like whelp I know hes lost interest and has been making sexual advances towards that person. There is an inevidtable cheating but Imma wait and see if hes good?

In that instance once again you need to be proactive. If you could have stopped the heart break you should have. You could have said its not working out lets move on or try to be friends.

What you did was help create bitterness and mistrust and now because of one expirence with a boyfriend, you assume they all will be like this.

And if your last statement is true it really makes it hard for you to become new friends with people. How do I know you aren't lying to me right now and trying to get attention? How do I know your not a mom with 3 kids who likes to troll people? I dont know, but I am willing to believe because I am willing to make friends. even if its with a well played facade. Because I have had friends who are theater majors who can legit pretend to be some one new every day.

I understand people lie but I have enough common sense to distinguish bullshit from human decency. You shouldn't shut that out of your life.

[Obsidian]

Do you think it's possible to have true online friends?
Yes.
How easily do you make online friends?
Fairly easy if you break past the will of To Post or Not To Post when going to forums. Just got to throw yourself out there and someone will respond.
Don't you hate that feeling when you realize that someone you considered a friend doesn't consider you the same?
Yeah, but it happens!
Do you have more online or IRL friends?
Yes. My boyfriend and I actually met online over 6 years ago and we started dating this year after my divorce. I've been in love with him for a very long time, just never thought the long distance would be possible. But we're 6 months dating right now and it's been amazing.

[Yokuutsu]

@Poggio

We dated for under a month, I just had a feeling. I didn't know he had lost interest and his reason was he was horny and she was there. It was more like, I didn't know if I was right or not, but I hoped I wasn't right. And I saw no sexual advances towards her from him. That's the thing. I saw no clues that would have led to him cheating on me with her, yet I still felt it would happen.


If it was just him, I would only be against dating someone. But he's not the only to pull stuff to where I can't trust people. Family and friends stealing my stuff, lying to me about all kinds of things, and people online lying too (it's hard to steal my stuff from the internet I would hope).

And, if you knew anything about me, you'd know I would not even think of having any children. Because I'm becoming like my mother who should've never had even one child.

[Sexy]

I still prefer my irl friends over my online friends... because online, people can just lie about stuff, while in real life, you can't really lie.
I have more friends irl than online. :P

[littl3chocobo]

i have found the opposite to be true but not because they /can't/. people online tend to be fairly honest about most things(though i hang out with a more adult crowd) simply because there are less repercussions for being honest, i have met some truly god-aweful people irl who have lied and deceived just to save face or look good

[Yokuutsu]

I've found that more people online lie for no reason because there is no such as a consequence whereas IRL if I find a friend or someone has lied to me, there are consequences. But people online? They will never see the consequences, how the lies did or did not affect me, so what incentive do they have to tell the truth when it won't hurt anyone that they know of when they lie? Other than being a good person, which very few of those exist in my experience.

And many people think I'm a pessimist, no, I'm not. I just remember my experiences, I'm a realist.

[littl3chocobo]

well i feel quite uncomfortable with that assumption. by the same account i can call you a rapist because you are a person online with no incentive to not be a rapist, it is very unfair and in the broad sweep of things is simply quite untrue

[Yokuutsu]

Yes, except lying doesn't make you a bad person, being a rapist is being a bad person. Also, I can't rape you, whether I want to or not, over the internet. You can prevent that by not telling me personal information.

And by me not being a rapist in general.

[littl3chocobo]

lying DOES make you a bad person actually, it makes you into someone that cannot be trusted or liked and causes people to avoid you and ignore what you say, it is not ok or right and you are hard pressed to be a dishonest person and a good one at the same time



you understand you can prevent lying in much the same way right? dont give liars any fodder and dont associate with them. i know liars on here and i just dont talk to them. problem solved, it is not always about girding yourself for the dog shit on the sidewalk, sometimes it is avoiding the shit all-together


to pull this point out further though, by your own admission you could be lying about being a rapist so simply by my assuming you are one there is no way you aren't one so you are, following this logic, both a rapist and a liar

[Yokuutsu]

Well then, no one can be liked or trusted (because everyone lies) which goes back to my original thing of online people aren't friends.

[littl3chocobo]

and my point is that said assumption is so heavily flawed as to need discarding since it omits any and all potential for having positive relationships and healthy interactions

[Yokuutsu]

Well, real life has taught me that that assumption is right most of the time. Family, friends, random people (online and not).

[Dorian Pavus]

Yes, I believe so at any rate.
I played WOW for many years and made many good friends from it.