[Glitch]

Hello~ I know I never post on here but I have a problem and I just wanted some opinions on if it's something I'm over-worrying about or not.


So I live with my boyfriend, we've been together over a year now.

THe past month, he's begun to sit out in our garage for hours every day playing eve or league of legends, talking on skype with the same male friend. He has a headset on so I can't listen and he mutes it whenever I come out to talk to him. We've had a lot of fights about it because I think it's really odd that he goes out in the garage to talk to his friend, when he could be in the house. It's not like it's warm out there either - he goes out in 3 jackets and 2 blankets.

I just, I have no idea why. I tend to take it personally but I'm trying not to, I just can't understand it, and when I ask him, he never explains why he needs to be sitting in the garage to talk to his friend and play video games :<

[Tiva]

Well, there is the obvious one... that is he cheating on you. But lets leave that idea alone for now. I know Alpha screams and rages when he plays LoL, and that if we are watching TV or I try to talk to him he shushes me. So your boyfriend may be trying to be some where quiet to play so he doesn't either bother you or have you bother him.

A few other questions.. Do you know this person he is talking to? Because if so maybe you should talk to him, so he can prod your boyfriend into realizing that he is hurting your feelings?

Could you also try to establish a couples night where he doesn't play any online games and that the 2 of you guys hang out?

[Uruviel]

Been together for a little over a year? Thats pretty soon to be living together. But, I just feel like you should just sit down with him for a few minutes and see whats actually going on. And I completely agree with Tiva. You should go out and do things together a couples night. Maybe 1 day each week.

[Reyoki]

My brother is about the same way. When he goes to play his games or Skype chat with his gaming buddies, he'll go into the other room and mute everything when someone else walks in the room. We can still hear him talking and swearing up a storm from the other room, though. I asked him about it once and he said he just doesn't feel comfortable gaming and Skype chatting with the rest of us around because he doesn't like to feel like he's being watched. He said it makes him feel really self-conscious. It could be the same with your boyfriend.

As Tiva and Uru have said, though, your best bet is to just ask him about it.

[Glitch]

I have tried to ask, he just looks at me like I'm silly and then makes up ways I can get him to come inside. But every way he's come up with - have never actually worked. The person he is talking to is a boy - and this ugy has a girlfriend. But I don't know - he used to play and stuff in front of me. It's just started up about two weeks ago where he has to be out in the garage.

We live together for financial reasons - and typically prefer to think we're living together before marriage, since so many of our friends met and got married within a year and never lived together prior to that.

I don't know :s

[littl3chocobo]

do you think you might be crowding him? i do the same thing to my bf sometimes too because, well to be frank he is really clingy sometimes and i am not

had anything changed a few weeks before this? have you thought about giving him time to be around people who aren't you?

it is a thought anyway ^^;

[Umaeril]

If it were me I would talk to him. I don't like secrets in a relationship they make me uncomfortable. I am speaking personally because I don't know you at all and only have what you have written to go on. But if it were me I would want an honest relationship where I can ask what my guy is doing and know what he replies is the truth. He should be willing to tell you what he is doing. That is what a relationship is all about.

[Anatidae]

He might just want his own space? Living with someone can be tough for all parties involved. You're constantly around them and it can put a strain on any relationship. I know even in my family home I feel crowded and need my own space, so the same applies in a relationship scenario.

Also, if you don't play games he might feel it's better to keep his hobby and friends made through that hobby to himself.

I'd talk to him though. Explain your side and see if he'll give any clarification as to why he's acting this way.

[Lucid:]

My husband really likes to have time to himself, especially when he's stressed out about school or work. If the stress gets bad enough, he'll stay up until 4 or 5 in the morning, long after I've gone to bed, just to have some alone time. It really worried me at first, but after discussing it with him and figuring out that's what was going on, it doesn't worry me as much. Him staying up until 4 or 5 still never makes me happy, but at least I know he's just playing video games for hours on end to relax, and not hiding something.

Don't talk to him about it while he's out playing in the garage, that's probably the time he's least likely to open up about it. You probably know the best times for you two to talk about things, but over dinner and right before bed are usually good for most people.

[Alpha]

I guess I can throw in a bit here as a gamer guy.

What they are all saying is good advice. There's a chance he doesn't even realize that it is bothering you as bad as it is. Some guys are pretty thick in the head and need to be metaphorically "hit over the head" in order for it to sink in.

I know I've done that before, and I've done what Lucid's husband has done as well. For me it was about space and being able to not worry about any kind of raging or other activity impacting my time with my fiancée or just allowing me to de-stress and "take it easy" for a bit. It's definitely not easy living with someone, and each person and relationship certainly has its quirks. It's all about finding a way to communicate and figuring it out (whether he's "tied up" or not....that was a joke....). I've had my share of "duh" moments when it comes to playing video games and had to have my fiancee actually let me know that it is bothering her by catching attention when I'm not in the middle of a game.

Not sure if that helped any, but it's a guy's perspective on it (no different from everyone else's advice to be honest).