[Ginger]

Dear Diary,

I've been having a really good day today :) I got to spend it with Coltin, going shopping with him and for a nice drive there and back. It was pretty warm for the black leggings I wore with my outfit but now that they're off and we're home to an air-conditioned house I feel much better. I found two pairs of really cute shoes at the thrift store for a total of $6, and Coltin got me a small pack of earrings and some zigzag gel bracelets to go with what I was wearing today. He also went shopping and got some things he needed, which is a good thing. It's good to treat yourself to new clothes every now and then when there's extra on the side. I hope he has a smooth day at work tomorrow :) I am lucky he is mine.

Miranda

[Hero]

Dear Diary,
I want to talk to you. So bad that it hurts.
I see your name and the most I can do is click it.
I'm too much of a wimp to send you a message.
It's been so many years yet..I still miss you.
It might be cruel of me to just show up after just disappearing.
Just saying hello can't hurt right?
But what if you never reply?
I feel like an idiot. Beating myself up.
I'll just sit here, tormenting myself.
I am an idiot.

[Lauv Keiko]

Okay, next time you ask for money from me like demanding it out of my wallet like it's my obligation to give to you EVERY SALARY DAY 20% of what I earned, better give me a real good FUCKING reason why I need to. Oh, and please, quit your lying because I know you from head to toe and I know how to judge a person from their facial expressions if and when they lie.

I hate you, and if I act like a bitch to you everyday, I HAVE EVERY FUCKING REASON TO BE BECAUSE OF YOU AND YOUR LIES AND DECEIT.
I am disgusted KNOWING I came from you. Related to you. THAT YOU WERE THE ONE WHO GAVE ME THE X CHROMOSOME SO THAT I COULD LIVE.

I WISH I DIED.

[Lauv Keiko]

Okay, next time you ask for money from me, demanding it out of my wallet like it's my obligation to give to you EVERY SALARY DAY 20% of what I earned, better give me a real good FUCKING reason why I need to. Oh, and please, quit your lying because I know you from head to toe and I know how to judge a person from their facial expressions if and when they lie.

I hate you, and if I act like a bitch to you everyday, I HAVE EVERY FUCKING REASON TO BE BECAUSE OF YOU AND YOUR LIES AND DECEIT.
I am disgusted KNOWING I came from you. Related to you. THAT YOU WERE THE ONE WHO GAVE ME THE X CHROMOSOME SO THAT I COULD LIVE.

I WISH I DIED.

[Hero]

Dear Diary,
I feel like things are looking up for me..
But why do I feel like it's only going to be temporary?
I don't want to repeat everything that happened this month again.
I don't think I can take something like that again.
I don't want to be the old me.
I don't want to be alone..

[Gallagher]

Sometimes, I want to die.

Nothingness doesn't seem so bad sometimes. Silence, not quite so scary. I've heard many things. Of white lights and sleep, of heaven and hell, of absolute nothingness.

I thank whatever God there is that I am not immortal. My time will come at some point. Until then, the chance at happiness is enough to hold onto, even if I don't feel anywhere near it.

I fear that most people don't understand my feelings. They don't see that no matter how I sound when I tell them how much I care, I mean it. I always mean it. Even when I've only known you for a week, even when I've never seen your face, even when I don't know your real name, my love is real. It is true. It is unconditional, and it is everlasting.

I've been hurt. I've been raped. I've seen murder. I've lost so much. I've forgiven them all, all the ones that have done wrong. I can't imagine harboring anger towards them. Any of them. And yet, at times, it feels like people think that all I'm capable of. Anger. Bitterness. Disgust.

I wish more people would see how brilliant the world is. How brilliant life is. Maybe then I wouldn't be ashamed of myself.

[Pinkie]

Dear diary...

I dont know where to begin to tell you how my morning started....I thought everything was going great between us but it seems that the fates are cruel. What am I to do when they think the way they do? Am I supposed to brush off the thoughts and harsh words like I do with everything else? Or do I take them to heart because its your family?

This morning my heart was broken from the very person who I thought would never break it. Now im sitting here in a daze thinking about everything that happened between us. The words we exchanged and the thoughts we both shared...they all come to a sad end and two days before three years... It really pains me that one person of your family could wreck a love I thought would never die.

Now I sit here thinking of the past...but when I look to the future what do I see? I used to see us getting married, having kids and growing old together. Dying in each others arms and finally resting in gods green earth still holding each other with a love that would never die....Now when I look I see nothing but darkeness....a vast expanse of nothingness that is swallowing my soul and heart the more I look into it.

You say that you love me...that you would do anything to make me happy, yet you cant see that what is happening is causing me the most pain I have ever felt. I lost you today...in one swift motion you were gone and I have no one to thank but the people who gave you life...

So onto you I say my final thoughts....thoughts that I do love you and would do anything to fix what is now broken...but what is broken can not be fixed. I am sorry it has come down to this...this nothingness, but I feel its the only way to be free. Take the good times and great memories we had...like the first day we met...the first day you said you loved me....take them all and hold them tight...you dont want those vanishing like the future I thought we had.

With fleeting love....Me.

[Asami]

Dear diary,

Mom you are so stupid. I cant even process your logic! What the heck. You assume things and its automatically what happened just because you assumed it!!!!!!!I hate how hypocritical you are! You are psychotic and just plain dumb. I swear you're intelligence level is far below zero you cant even pronounce words right! And yes we laugh because its fucking hilarious to hear you stumble on words you don't know the definition of. You need a serious reality check and I would give it to you but you'd just say I was talking back or say I was taking advantage of you (which makes no sense -_-). God I could rant for hours about how you take advantage of me and my brothers(which you actually do) but it would just piss me off more.

You know what. You want to become a fucking grandmother one day? Well I'm your only hope of that and guess what!!! You wont EVER see my children EVER! I wont let you near them. You will have no role in my child's life. you are way to unstable of a person, I would fear my child's life if I let you near him/her (when I have one).

-asami

[littl3chocobo]

dear person below me,

i love you, i honestly do and even if you don't want the love i still will because everyone needs to be loved and i want to give you something to hold on to

[Lost]

Dear -

If we're just not good enough for you then leave. Stop fucking talking about it.
You think we can't survive without you?

Why do you hate me for doing my job? I'm finally taking an active part and doing what I'm supposed to. Now you're taking your misinformation out on me and I've done nothing wrong. Its not my division? Fuck you its not. I'm the one giving out the paychecks. Trying to help your ass out. Yet you're getting mad at me for telling people my opinions, and on top of that not even talking to me about it. I have been pushing so hard for you to get a "promotion" and more payment for the things you do. My thanks? Its to get bad mouthed to our coworkers. Saying that the place I've EARNED isn't right. That its a mistake. That it's a "horrible horrible idea". I've earned my place. I do more then you could ever hope to realize. Oh and by the way, I haven't ordered ANYONE around. At all. I've talked about my opinions. I've brought them up in meetings and in letters, but I've NEVER ordered ANYONE around. Taking interest in someones work, or the possibility to different areas they might be open to moving in. Who should work with who. All of that is opinion. I don't know how to stress that to you enough you pompous asshole. So I'm in charge of paychecks and the work-up of payments that we go by. Oh! I bet you didn't know I'm taking a huge part of hiring too. Yeah, I've earned my place. Have you? I have been putting money into this company since I joined. I've been supporting our products and our cause. Have you? Have you gone out and spread the word to everyone you meet? Have you passed out flyers and information just to get us off the ground? No? Why not? Your "Not in my job description" point of view is sickening. So everyone should stick to what they were hired to do and keep their mouths shut about everything else? That is not how this works.
I hope you get over yourself soon. Start working like your part of this team.

[Fey]

Dear Diary,
I'm not sure why it still hurts, or why I still fall into the same 'trap' every time. Every time.

I think 'they act like they like me, like I'm a friend.' And so I, mistaking whatever it is they want from me, as an overture to rekindled friendship. But every time it's not. It's 'I need you to do this for me, but don't act like it means anything else.' And I should expect it now, because it's what I get time and again. But it still hurts like the first time, the second, the eight...and apparently like a beaten dog I come back each time expecting something different.

I have amazing people in my life, that genuinely like me, maybe even love me, but each time I fall back on the 'what am I doing that makes me unlikable? So usable and disposable?' What part of me is so flawed that this is the 'right' way to treat me each time?

What part of my brain needs rewiring? I tell myself after each destroyed bridge, after each rebuffed overture, that I've learned my lesson, I won't do it again. But I do. How they must laugh to see me constantly groveling for the smallest bit of respect, attention, or praise. Am I entertaining? Am I at least worth the floor show?

I won't lie to myself and say that this time I've learned my lesson, I won't repeat the same mistakes. I will, again and again, the living definition of insane. I expect a different result when all my variables are the same.

[Asami]

Dear diary,

Pissed off doesn't even cover how I feel right now. How DARE she. I do SO MUCH for her and how DARE she say what she said. She wanted to USE me again. Just plain out use me for her own gain. Just because I have a talent doesnt give you the right to use and abuse it! You 'Ask' me to do something. Doesnt that give me the right to say no? So why flip the f*ck out? Why yell and scream and say I'm ungrateful, I'm throwing a 'temper tantrum' because I wont do it? Here's the reality check b*tch. You're throwing the temper tantrum! And that caused me to get angry now. Why the hell do I have to do whatever you say???? You say you ask me but in reality you tell me. You use and drain everyone of their talents just because you have none yourself. I'm getting tired of this. I'm tired of being used. I'm tired of being put down every chance you get. I'm tired of you. Why cant you be a normal mom who actually cares for their kids? U.U I hate you. I hate you so much.

-asami

[Monmon]

Dear friend.

You say you care about me but if you really did you would have realized sooner that i really don't like many of the things you talk to me about, give me or even try to make me do.
you don't listen and that's why we broke up before.
Your not in love with me but in love with an image of me that you have in your head.
and now that we're just friends, your pushing me away again but doing exactly what i told you many times to not do.

[Belial]

Dear life

Sometimes you are so very strange. The past two days I feel like you are trying to show me something but I am not quite getting it.My dad has a rather successful day yesterday, we also had a cashier named "Lucky" who sold us Lottery tickets and I also was paid enough to pay my bills for the month. I also was randomly given $50 as a tip during work.

Thank you for always being interesting and puzzle like. I will figure out you one day.

And to whomever posts below me, you are awesome!

Jay

[Pinkie]

Dear life,

....For once...no complaints.

~Me

[Hero]

Dear Diary,
It's so strange hearing that all my friends are back in college and I'm not..
I'm stuck here in the same place, unmoving, unchanging.
Why am I so afraid of the future? Why am I so afraid of moving forward?
I'm just sitting here..watching everyone dash toward their bright future.
All I can see is their backs and hear them laugh.
They have so much hope and anticipation.
I've got nothing.
Why do I feel so worthless.