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Mirror Gardens
![]() *twitch*
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#34401 | ||
Shouldn't the next part really just be, "...and so the story begins" or something and lead into the rp?
![]() I am the Goddess of Volcanoes...I Bleed Lava :3 | ||||
![]() | Posted 07-30-2011, 01:58 AM |
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Mirror Gardens
![]() *twitch*
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#34403 | ||
Hmmm I like it, the wording is a little awkward though, at least when I read it. Spoken it sounds okay
![]() I am the Goddess of Volcanoes...I Bleed Lava :3 | ||||
![]() | Posted 07-30-2011, 02:02 AM |
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Poggio
![]() Bald and loving it!
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#34405 | ||
I like it and give you the thumbs up of love and approval.
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![]() | Posted 07-30-2011, 02:06 AM |
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#34406 |
Mirror Gardens
![]() *twitch*
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It wasn't the grammar, cause it is technically correct, it was the use of our I think. But I dun know who is actually telling the into, so I dun know if it is supposed to be from a knights pov
![]() I am the Goddess of Volcanoes...I Bleed Lava :3 | ||||
![]() | Posted 07-30-2011, 02:09 AM |
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Reyoki
![]() Best thing since cheese-in-a-can!
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#34407 | ||
I dunno. It just seemed like how it should be done to me, like how some people begin reading like, "Our story begins in a far off land many, many years ago" and all that jazz.
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![]() | Posted 07-30-2011, 02:11 AM |
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#34408 |
Mirror Gardens
![]() *twitch*
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Well I honestly didn't read the first part, I think I missed it somewhere. So if it starts out in a knights pov, then it's okie dokie, if not then I think it should be "the story," but that's just a personal preference.
![]() I am the Goddess of Volcanoes...I Bleed Lava :3 | ||||
![]() | Posted 07-30-2011, 02:14 AM |
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#34410 |
Mirror Gardens
![]() *twitch*
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Well the ambiguity ends once "our" is used XD, but if that's what you were going for *thumbs up*
![]() I am the Goddess of Volcanoes...I Bleed Lava :3 | ||||
![]() | Posted 07-30-2011, 02:17 AM |
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Poggio
![]() Bald and loving it!
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#34411 | ||
XD it can be from squiggles pov the official bard rubber duck of the knights.
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![]() | Posted 07-30-2011, 02:18 AM |
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Mirror Gardens
![]() *twitch*
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#34413 | ||
There's a rubber duck?
![]() I am the Goddess of Volcanoes...I Bleed Lava :3 | ||||
![]() | Posted 07-30-2011, 02:22 AM |
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Mirror Gardens
![]() *twitch*
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#34415 | ||
I think I do...Do I?
![]() I am the Goddess of Volcanoes...I Bleed Lava :3 | ||||
![]() | Posted 07-30-2011, 02:24 AM |
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#34416 |
dragoness129
![]() Level 100
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![]() Hmm, I need to chat more again. | ||||
![]() | Posted 07-30-2011, 02:25 AM |
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Tags |
chaotic, explosion!, guild, knights, sanctum for evilness |
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