[Kory]

Yeah. Mental illness doesn't discriminate. :(

[littl3chocobo]

dummies sure do tho'

[mdom]

I heard that when I spent time at a mental health clinic.
The world out there is insane for people who earn minimum wage and have mental illness, so for them it was like 'wow mdom your parents can afford you not working, what a great life, why are you depressed'

[Stabbsworth]

mum says that i can't possibly have ADHD because i slept as a kid. like, ma, you do realize that THAT isn't really a fuckin symptom for diagnosing adhd?

[mdom]

uh that wouldn't work even if she was a licensed psychiatrist

[Stabbsworth]

i know. bah.

[mdom]

It's ok
my dad took 2 days to realize I cut my hair
then he was like 'now you're the son I always wished I had'
hmm that's problematic in many ways, old man

[Kory]

My mom actually has a degree in child psychology...
But you know how parents are. She always assumed mental illness can affect anyone EXCEPT for me...

For a long time it was hard because my mom felt she somehow "failed" as a parent because I was struggling with mental health.

When I was first diagnosed with schizophrenia, my therapist had to reassure my mom that it's mostly a genetic thing and doesn't have much reflection on her as a parent.

[Merskelly Metalien]

;u; I've been in constant on/off denial that I have any sort of mental illness, because I've constantly been told all my life both, "What's wrong with you?" and "Nothing's wrong with you." I still have no idea what is wrong with me, but I still also think that nothing is BADLY wrong with me.

I'm, I guess diagnosed with depression by my mental health professional, but <:/ I guess it's mild depression because I usually only get not-frequent moments of it at a time, but sometimes it just comes out of nowhere. <:c
One day I could be relaxed and fine, and happy to do things.
And then suddenly another day I could be dwelling on things too much and self-blaming, self-harming by means of not taking care of myself and staying miserable, all while beating myself up over something small. <n<;;

I got anxiety too, but it more or less comes in the common situations, like public speaking, performing, going to someplace public and seeing an old face I really didn't expect or want to see. >~>; Also get anxiety in some crowded places, and whenever anyone express the slightest bit of anger around me.

Not sure how someone like me can go about having a job where you have to handle multiple tasks and multiple people every single day or every other day without getting both exhausted and drained emotionally. <x'{ ????? It boggles my mind how people can somehow not only successfully be HIRED, but how they can function in their job without having it negatively affect their mental health in some way. <:{

[Kory]

I hear you, Merskelly!

I'd been hospitalized quite a few times, but once I was out of high school I always kinda felt that maybe my "mental illness" wasn't that bad... I was in several schizophrenia group therapies and I remember sitting in group, thinking to myself, 'I'm NOT going to be lazy! Taking help from family/government and not having a job is the EASY way out! I'm going to work as hard as I can because I'm FINE'

I always took those group therapies for granted.

I got a "real" job in 2014 working at a childcare center... and go figure, my mental health plummeted. I was hospitalized at least twice every three months and it got to the point where I was missing too much work from constant hospitalizations and I had piles of bills from the hospital not to mention my therapy bills and my damn medication cost like $1k/month.

My group therapist pulled me aside from group once and suggested that I try for SSI/SSDI and at first I fought against it because I was brainwashed into thinking that unless I was making my own money, that that meant I was useless. She said that I was struggling and that is was good of me to try to work, but it was obvious that the bills were piling up and kept getting bigger and bigger each time I went IP.

She and my other therapist helped me apply and I'm very grateful that they did. Now I can actually afford my medication and I was able to pay off most of the hospital and therapy bills.


I can't imagine working at a job that's stressful like that for years and years without having a mental breakdown.
I know the only reason I was hired at the childcare (I originally thought it was because I am good with kids and because I was really over-qualified) was because they were desperate because no one ever stayed working there more than a year at a time... So I thought I was special, but nah. They literally would have hired ANYONE... and they have hired randos and people who were clearly under-qualified...

Working a "normal" job is super stressful!
And so is going to school, IMHO. I'm always impressed by people who go to school and have mental illnesss.

[Merskelly Metalien]

<:] Maybe such help will find me and be there in the future.
Never know how much you appreciate something until it's missing from your life. <:/
Always felt like asking for help was weak of me too..but clearly, <x} if help's there and offered, I should take it, hehe.

:] I hope to continue seeing my therapist too. :/ or at least a good therapist that I can talk to openly and honestly to help me cope with future issues as well as past ones.

<:\ I'm on no medication, and I don't need it prescribed, but I'm glad I'm finding some ways to feel better without it.. <:]

[mdom]

accept all help >:(

[Mekatra]

I was raised with the idea that going to a psychiatrist was super shameful (among other things about me that didn't exactly mesh well with my Baptist upbringing) so it took a long time for me to even consider talking to a professional.

[littl3chocobo]

yeeeeaaaah, i was just submerged in a culture of toxic masculinity. there was no aspect of my life that wasn't like that. even eating cheese was a sign of weakness(because if you eat it there won't be any left= you are a greedy lazy glutton who takes too much from others). i had serious mental health issues and because there were no broken bones it didn't count until i was hospitalized and then as soon as i was out it didn't count anymore with a loop back around to the begining

[mdom]

D: damn, that's terrifying, chocobo


same Mekatra, even today my parents don't like talking that I do therapy for some reason

[Mekatra]

The first thing my mom said when she found out I was on antianxiety medication was well don't mention it to your father." *Sigh*

All the hugs, Choco. That's not okay to do to someone.