[The Mule]

Please delete this

[Vanitas]

They were right about talking about it to others and I'm happy you have the courage to reveal your true self and how you look at yourself day to day, but you have to understand that no matter how negative you are about yourself and how you think you are "disgusting," there is a whole lot of beautiful backing you up. You may think you are disgusting but others could find you as a beautiful person. We each beat ourselves up everyday, it's only natural, we want to be perfect, but nothing is perfect and that is what makes us beautiful. People will miss you if you are gone, sure time heals the heart but there will always be a nagging pain, the hole that never fills up if they lose you. I believe people are here in our lives to where we can find a piece of ourselves inside them and that makes us who we are, so they will be missing a piece of themselves if you die/or are gone.
I'm not good with these kinds of things and I'm trying my hardest to understand where you are coming from, but I felt like you needed this, you need to hear from someone that you are normal and that you are okay. You are so loved from what you have revealed in your post and I want you to know that I DO care. I know I'm some random person on the internet but I do care about you and worry because you are a precious person who suffers from themselves and need someone to be there for you and tell you that there is nothing disgusting about you. I don't know what else to say but I hope that you know that and take it to heart, there are so many things about yourself that is awaiting to be discovered and you WILL love yourself one day, maybe not now or maybe not tomorrow or in a month or whatever but someday you will.