[DeadMuse]

Okay, from what im understanding i bet you feel like that game is WAY more important then you are? If that's the case then your dealing with a simple yet annoying and fixable problem. Your jealous. Case closed, not even being mean about it at all but it's honestly what i can see as the main issue it's not that he's "Addicted" it's that you are just jealous that he's not doing what YOU want and playing his FAVORITE game and then not giving you the 100% the way you think you deserve.

Look, i know it hurts and i bet it's highly furstrating but this kind of stuff happens when it involves the internet. People get lost in their own world and it becomes harder and harder to get them out but they need to do it for them selves. My only question to you is: Have you tried playing WITH him? You'd be surprised as to how much time you'd be spending together.

But if it's becoming persistent and he's starting to ignore your existence then it may be best you find someone social like yourself and willing to take you out and do social things otherwise sit back and play with him but take all things in moderation. If your completely serious about being with him catch him while he's not playing and ask for a moment of his time if he loves you and if he does he will if he doesn't you may need to find someone new.

Let me tell you this. I know of NO GUY that wants to give ONE HUNDRED PERCENT of his time to a girl. Not that he's being a douche but that's just the normal guy thing. Even my fiance does it you just need to either back down and let him have his game or join in on the fun for all you know it could do one of 2 things make or break your relationship.

Understand that i am myself a WoW gamer but and i can understand both halves of the story on your part and his too. You feel neglected, jealous. I bet you anything he feels your being too clingy, controlling and whiny over it all so that's probably why he continuously re-install's and re-activates his game. To get away from you and your complaining.

I've experienced this with my fiance when ever i complain to him or gripe about something involving "US" he goes for his games, music or his guy friends. And MALES BACK UP MALES just like FEMALES BACK UP FEMALES!

So my advice to you, Join or get out. Again, not trying to be rude just blunt and making it clear to you to understand. My apologies in advanced if this has ruffled your feathers.

[Saiyouri]

╔═════════════════════════════════╗



(｡◕‿◕｡) Honey I hate to say this but you are better off without him.
If he's asking you to leave something important
as a volunteer job that could become a real job,
and if you have already sacrificed so much for him
and he hasn't done a thing in return and then to
add on the way he treats you. You deserve a whole
lot better and really should break up with him.
He obviously doesn't think this relationship is
worth anything to him, I hate to say this, but it
really sounds like he doesn't want to be with you
and no one deserves treatment like that. I am really
sorry you have to suffer like this but everyone should
be treated well by their love.

Things won't get better unless you break up with him so
you don't have to put up with his abuse like this. There
are better guys out there for you, who will treat you
better and love you for who you are and want to spend
time with you. I really am sorry but you really are
better without him. It's up to you now how you want
to handle this situation but I think the answer is
very clear. You might love him dearly but he doesn't
feel the same about you. *huggles* Good luck hun. I'm
here if you ever want to talk about anything or to just
vent.



╚═════════════════════════════════╝

[Glass Heart]

I more likely wouldn't stay with him, at one time I would of tried to keep the relationship going because either I felt I would of wasted all that time and money for no reason, but now I guess I'd call it a lesson, so even with the time and the money spent on him or with him... you can always get more money at a job or something...
if I couldn't play games without fighting I would be gloomy...
and having someone say things about not having a job...
my bf encouraged the volunteer work I have done and then I got hired on by the same people I volunteered for...
you don't need someone to bring you down, so think about it, do you really want to be with him... or will he be more of a problem than he is worth to you

[littl3chocobo]

muse and traka both did a very good job of explaining it when you take them together

[Sadrain]

I disagree with DeadMuse.
With what I see... it's not "no guy wants to devote 100% time to his grilfriend", it is "5% of time to my gf, 95% to my dear game".

If she is jealous, she has all the rights to. What she described is getting ridiculous. Gamers in general aren't bad, but when they for some reason chose game over their close people, it's insane, pretty illogical.

Maybe she asked a bit too much of him sometimes, but it could only hint that he is not ready to have any sort of responsibilities and is not ready for relationships in general. Currently, it is all about giving TO him, and asking bits from him, which he even refuses to give. BUT relationships are all about giving and taking, neither side more or less than the other. If he doesn't understand that, then I think he should be left alone with his games. Somehow, I am not even sure if he will be that upset, as cruel as it sounds, with his friends going like "finally that bitch will let us play as much as we want".

His game is his addiction, much like drug, and no one can help an addict if they don't want the help. So, no one can blame her for giving up trying to even these things out.

Another chance is starting to give him the same treatment. Going out when you want to, chatting with your friends, either gender, playing your own game and paying little to no attention to him. if he notices, and is displeased, either continue the treatment and then talk, or talk right away. If he doesn't, then leave him.

EDIT: I know these aren't the things you wanted to hear... But that is what I have to say, what this all gives feel of. And, really, you can't avoid hearing these things only cause you don't want the situation to be like this, admit that it is like this. You've already been doing for too long. He is grown too assured that you're there with him, won't go anywhere and that you will give up anything he asks to.

[Serah]

I know that breaking up with him is probably the right thing to do but I'm too weak to do so. And everyone is expecting this, but it's not an easy thing to do. We had broken up before for about seven months, didn't talk to each other at all and just tried to move on. I dated someone else that I cared for and treated me right but it just wasn't the same. I wasn't happy with him like I'm happy with my boyfriend right now. Everyone fights, you learn from it and move on or you hold grudges. I try not to let this stuff get to me.

Maybe I should have told all of you this, maybe it will change your opinions. My boyfriend's best friend is moving across the country and he's not coming back. I know that doesn't give him the right to treat me wrong but maybe that's why he's been harsh to me? I'm not too sure. I'm not trying to justify his actions and I'm sorry if it seems like I am.

I don't need a guy's attention 100% of the time. It bothers me when just guy friends of mine text me non-stop. I don't like being the center of attention but at the same time I want some attention. If he's spending time with me, it should be about me not about some game. What I feel is that I deserve some attention and I feel I deserve to be treated equally amongst the other things in his life, whether it be family, friends, hobbies, etc. I talked to a guy friend of mine and he said something that really hit home, there is only one real thing you get to choose in life, besides your friends, and that's your beloved. If you choose a hobby over your beloved you're throwing away one of the most important choices in your life. You don't get to choose what family you're born into or what gender you're attracted to, you get to choose who it is your spend your life with though.

Like I said, I'm not trying to defend him and I know it seems that way. I'm sure he loves me and cares about me, just rarely shows it. He has done things to show he cares and he has shown he loves me. He just doesn't show it all the time like he should. I know he cares about me and I know he loves me, he just does a crappy job of showing it. And maybe I am jealous but feeling like a game has power over him that I've never had is just stupid. Call it jealousy, I don't care, but I shouldn't feel a some game comes before me. A game will not comfort you when you're upset and a game can't save your life when you're hanging from a cliff. It is what it is, just a game.

I have given him the same treatment with a different situation before and he didn't like it. I could always try it again to get him to realize how much of an ass he's being. Or there's always the possibility it could back fire and make me feel more alone and isolated.

[Trakadon]

Take comfort from your friends. None of use has the right to just tell you to break up with him. You have to make this decision. Either gamble and sacrifice two things you love in the hopes your boyfriend gives up the game which he might not do or he will for a short period of time, or sacrifice your love for your boyfriend and move on.

In my opinion if he is willing to sacrifice your relationship for a game he isn't worth keeping. I know how it feels, but you can get through it if you surround yourself with people that actually care for you.

And I also have to disagree with DarkMuse.

[Serah]

I don't know who to talk to about this in real life. My parents are just going to treat me with indifference and tell me to break up with him. I know it's probably the right thing to do, but I don't want to hear that from them. I don't know what friends I could talk to. One of them is not here, she's living with her girlfriend and the other has a pretty busy schedule. I don't want to burden either of them with my problems. I don't really have anyone to talk to, nor do I have someone to hug me when I start crying.

I called him to see if we could talk and he wouldn't leave the room to talk to me. He let his friend listen to what I had to say which wasn't much. He let his phone die and won't call me back so now I have to wait again. I just want to get these things sorted out so either our relationship gets better or I cut ties and say good bye. He didn't seem too concerned in his voice when I brought it up. He tries to hide how he feels in front of his friends because it's the 'manly' thing to do. When I said, "I'm thinking of breaking up." he asked, "You're going to break up with me...?" "I don't know, I've been thinking about it." all he could say was, "Huh..." I don't know if he's trying to hide the fact that he would be upset or if he really doesn't care about losing me.

[Trakadon]

It sounds like he's made up his mind and doesn't care. I don't care what he thinks is "manly" but what he is doing isn't. If he let his phone die then I'm pretty sure he's doing one or both of these things: Still playing WoW and/or ignoring you so he can be the one to break up with you.

Another thing is the way he acted means he no longer cares for your relationship, and I am sorry for that. He wasn't even willing to talk to you in private and all he had to say was "Huh"... That isn't something a guy would say if he actually cared for the relationship.

And you need to talk to someone. You aren't burdening anyone if they are your friend. Simply ask one of your friends be it male or female if you can talk to them because you need someone to talk to. And talk to your parents if you need to. I doubt they will tell you anything that everyone on this site has already told you. But the choice is yours to make.

[Serah]

Unless he got on to change clothes or fly around on his mounts or something, he hasn't been on WoW since 11 am, ten hours ago. There's this nifty little feature that lets you look at people's characters and their activity feed, that's how I knew he was playing again.

It seems like he cared for a time and maybe that time has passed. I think I have a theory as to why he's been like this... Besides this game I honestly believe his friend doesn't want him to be happy. Every time something good happens to him, his friend has to butt in and be a douche. He's never liked me when all I've done is try to kind to him and treat my boyfriend right. And he keeps trying to get him to play WoW when he should be in class. His friend kept changing what day he was going to leave. He said last week two weeks ago, then he said last Monday, now he's saying tomorrow morning. He'll probably change that to Sunday evening or the end of the September tomorrow. :/

Either way, I want to discuss either breaking up with him or making things better. He seemed sorry for what he did last night. :/ But, I just kind of want to get this settled now. He doesn't want me to leave but at the same time he's not putting much effort in? Am I basically arm candy...?

[Trakadon]

The best way to answer that is when did he start playing WoW and ignoring you and when was it you two started calling each other Fiance. If both started around the same time I'd say yes but if not it could be that he is panicking. I'm not going to justify why he is acting the way he is but if he is also sacrificing his education then it wont belong before he starts to stop going to work to play WoW at the rate he is going. Sounds like he is genuinely addicted to playing WoW if he is doing that. I'll go out on a limb and say if he isn't playing WoW he's edgy and short tempered. So basically he is going through withdraw if he isn't playing WoW... Its been known to happen. People have even died because of it. That's why MMOs tell you how long you have been playing and asks you to take a break... And again if that is the case he needs more help then you can offer him.

[Serah]

He started calling me fiance then playing WoW again. I asked him to get rid of it and he did for two days. He started arguing with me about it saying I was controlling him and that I didn't want him to have any fun. At first I was okay with him playing WoW. It wasn't causing any problems in our relationship. He still kept up with texting and calling me. Then it started to get bad and I asked him to stop. He wouldn't and I started begging. He dropped the game again for a while but went back to it, same cycle. This the third time he's gone through this cycle and now he's telling me he's putting his foot down and if I don't give up my volunteer job and my game he won't give up his. What I don't understand is a volunteer job and game are NOT the same. I tried pleading to let him just drop the volunteer job and make it a game for a game but I don't think I'm swaying very well... He's fine without playing it for a while but he uses it to settle his fidgeting. When we sit in the car together he plays with the window, plays with the radio, he even plays with his shoes. He can't sit still for long... A new MMO I've been playing doesn't list how long you've been online. x_x But I know Maplestory did that. After three hours it would start saying, "You should probably take a break."

[Trakadon]

To be honest sounds like he has ADHD. One of my bestfriends has it and does pretty much the same thing. But he works with computers all day and it keeps him busy. Whenever he is home he is pacing back and forth and when he is siting he messes with stuff. Although if or when he plays a game, namely guitar hero, He will play it until his wife forces him to stop.

Don't give up your volunteer work. That is an activity that helps people in the real world. His game is fantasy. They don't even begin to compare. For him to think your two things equal up to his one is irrational. Just because he spends 15$ a month on a game doesn't make it more important then you.

[DarkForbidden-Love]

I think you should set down a timetable or something to the likes. You should spend time with other friends you have and maybe tell you boyfriend to meet you twice a week. You don't have to break up with him just show him that if he is going to devote his life to MMOs then your aren't going to suffer through it your going to stand up and live.
The 'friend' your boyfriend has seems like he doesn't want your boyfriend to be happy without him there. He is making it purposly difficult for you to make your boyfriend happy while he is moving away. This could be a problem in the long rin if this 'friend' of you boyfriend actually goes far enough to disturb the status of your relashion ship.
About giving up your volunteer job for his game don't. I know this has already been said but that trade is not fair. Your asking for more couple time that fits both of your scheduals not just his make him aware of this.

[Ginger]

Let's see here..

I didn't read that she wants him to STOP playing WoW altogether. It looks like he spends WAY more time playing his beloved games and enjoys himself more doing that than spending time with her. And yes, that IS a problem. When you love a game more than you love your partner in a relationship, that DOES in fact pose a threat to the relationship.

Has anyone even asked you how much you play your game in comparison to how much he plays? If I knew how much you play and how much he plays, I might be able to provide advice. Maybe if you could both schedule times to be together and not play games, things might turn out a little different. It sounds like you need to do fun things together, like go to the movies, go to a fair or community events, go swimming, and other things to remind him why he got together with you. Maybe he won't be as distracted by his game whenever you hang out if you're out of the house and actually communicating and spending time together. Tell him you miss how things were in the relationship. Maybe he will understand.

As for his friends, I'm in a similar situation except it's going on with his family too, so I can't be of much help when it comes to that. Everyone my boyfriend knows don't seem to care for me much and there's an awkward silence whenever I come into the room. I'm being kicked out of his parents house in a week if I don't get a job before then. It's as if they think I haven't been trying all summer to get my life going. I know I seem like a lazy ass to them, but really I hide out in my room all day and skip meals because I feel like I'm intruding and getting in the way. Who wouldn't feel that way when everyone around you seems to hate you? Anyway enough about me. I wish you luck and I hope you figure something out soon or it's just going to get worse.

[Yokuutsu]

This might be late, but you need to give an ultimatum.

It isn't good for you. And it isn't good for him...though even if you did leave...he might never notice. Your boyfriend needs to grow a pair and start making his own decisions...if it is because of his friend(s). He needs to set his priorities. School and you should be more important than the game...which may be a good way to connect to friends, but he has a phone. There is another way to connect.

Neither am I saying you have to break up with him or that he has to quit WoW...you just need to give him an ultimatum about it. It might end bad...but maybe he'll grow up...and maybe he'll realize how good you were for him and maybe it can end happily like that. Maybe not.