[Yuki]

Why the fuck would you "try" being in an abusive relationship? >_> If I had a boyfriend who even hit me even once I'd punch him back never to see him again, ever. He could go kill himself.

[Aiko]

Alexander: Yeah he has some stalker traits, but I don't think you can call it actual stalking if she wants him to? =_=;

Yuki: I like how everyone always say that, I was like that too, but it's not as easy as it sounds, because usually you really care about and love that person, and you didn't know they were abusive from the start

[johnny]

If someone wraps you up so completely that you go into a coma without them, and you start sobbing and thinking your life is over when they're not there, that's a form of abuse. It's co-dependency. It's making it so the person needs you, thus controlling them emotionally and mentally.

Not all abuse is physical or verbal. If you get into a relationship with someone who's trying to control what you do, who you hang out with, where you go, that is abuse. And that's also exactly what Edward does in the books, only it's flowered up and meant to sound like "love".

[Alexander Linden]

Aiko - I don't care if we're dating... I don't want him stalking me >.< That's just way too weird..

Yuki - Anyone that hits me gets hit back, harder. No one messes with me >.<

[Yuki]

True, but after the first him you ain't supposed to stay with them. It's very easy for me. I don't easily forgive people for bad stuff. I've had people betray me or making my life a hell and I'll never forgive them. If I saw them today I could push them down the stairs. It was their choice to be ass holes after all, not mine. And if they don't wanna get pushed down the stairs they should have thought of that before. Though, I haven't actually done anything yet. I haven't seen them in years, luckily.

[Aiko]

Johnny: That's not really Edward's fault, love is not something you can control (Oh but how nice it would be if it were), actually Edward is constantly trying to push her away, because he knows it's dangerous for her.
Also do you really think that would happen irl even though the fangirls wish it?
That's why it's fiction, it's not how things are, it's made up

Alexander: I am pretty sure she has some weird fetish about it xD

Yuki: You can't say that before you've actually tried it
Why do you think women don't leave abusive men? It's not like they enjoy being beaten up and have all their belief in themself destroyed, but these people convince you, you are not worth more than that, and they know exactly how to do it

I had to see a shrink for a year, just to not break down every other day crying
And I still can't make myself tell my parents what happened because I know it would hurt them even more than it already has

[Lucifer]

Originally Posted by Yuki

Why the fuck would you "try" being in an abusive relationship? >_> If I had a boyfriend who even hit me even once I'd punch him back never to see him again, ever. He could go kill himself.

Because abusers hide it, they act all sweet and nice, until you're hooked in..
My ex was like that and was pretty much staying with me by the time I found out how eh was...
My grandparents were gone (one in hospital, other at a friend's from mental breakdown) and it was their house, but he took it over and I knew he could come back and hurt me if I tried to kick him out.

He stole from my grandparents, he hurt me, physically and emotionally... Made me feel selfish if I used my own money on myself... got me to spend my birthday money on his wishes.. :C
And when I pissed him off enough, he had a guy he'd met and become semi-friends with (and had boozed up and had booze in him himself), he had the guy rape me, which was when I finally had my breaking point, and ran away to live with someone else out of a van.
(Only way I felt I could be safe) Of course, that's another can of worms.. but I eventually got back home, where I am safe.

[Yuki]

Originally Posted by johnny

If someone wraps you up so completely that you go into a coma without them, and you start sobbing and thinking your life is over when they're not there, that's a form of abuse. It's co-dependency. It's making it so the person needs you, thus controlling them emotionally and mentally.

Not all abuse is physical or verbal. If you get into a relationship with someone who's trying to control what you do, who you hang out with, where you go, that is abuse. And that's also exactly what Edward does in the books, only it's flowered up and meant to sound like "love".

This is how I understood it too, even though I haven't actually read any of them. Edward's like a Muslim big brother. lulz

[Sephiroth]

Guuuuuys, please stop. ;o;

[Alexander Linden]

Yuki - hn.. well it depends for me. If it was out of anger... he's gone.. If we were messing around, I'll probably get him back when he least expects it, and it would be fine.

[Sephiroth]

Alex, Johnny, you're mods make it stop. Why does the 28 year old have to beg?

[Yuki]

There was warning signs and still you stayed with him. I already know I'm selfish so I wouldn't care if someone told me so. I'd tell them to mind their own business. I'm not saying it was your fault but things could have been done better eh?

[johnny]

Originally Posted by Aiko

Johnny: That's not really Edward's fault, love is not something you can control (Oh but how nice it would be if it were), actually Edward is constantly trying to push her away, because he knows it's dangerous for her.
Also do you really think that would happen irl even though the fangirls wish it?
That's why it's fiction, it's not how things are, it's made up

Which is why I say that it's Bella's fault, too.

Bella is the key to this situation. It's Bella that's saying "he stalks me because he loves me" and "he tries to control me because he loves me". Bella is actually the dangerous one to the readers, because her justifying the control-freak behavior of Edward as "love" is something that the people who grow up and get into relationships will do.

And yes, it's perfectly possible for someone to get into a relationship and not recognize that the abusive behavior isn't what love is. People do it all the time without Twilight's help, now they'll just do it more because they have an idealized representation of "love" that is actually controlling, manipulative, and creepy.

[Alexander Linden]

Originally Posted by Sephiroth

Alex, Johnny, you're mods make it stop. Why does the 28 year old have to beg?

Because the 24 year-old needs a shower >.<
brb

[Yuki]

Originally Posted by Sephiroth

Alex, Johnny, you're mods make it stop. Why does the 28 year old have to beg?

I'm just replying to the posts I get... Ô_O

[johnny]

Sephiroth, we're allowed to discuss things in here.

No one is swearing or insulting anyone, we're just having a discussion.