[Sage]

If it's a little bit confusing, my apologies, I did my best to make it understandable. If you're not familiar with the characters it might not make a lot of sense.

Unlike the rows of tents pitched in a mockery of Nature, the Captain of Ascellus’ Arrows had placed his tent further in the woods. For such a man as he, it was impossible to be connected with the earth if surrounded by noise and concrete, and it allowed him to sleep as the sun set.

Kyren exited the Captains’ shower which a contented look on his face and flew back to his tent. He ran several fingers through his newly perfect locks and gave an equally perfect smile as he felt how smooth, how silky it was. It had never been this nice before. Feeling quite satisfied with his Divine appearance, he allowed himself several extra minutes with his avocado face mask before bed.

Being in the Divine army meant that there were always emergencies happening somewhere, and this necessitated the ability to wake up instantly, ready to fight. So when Kyren was woken by an aura of overwhelming anger in the pitch-blackness of a moonlit night, it seemed perfectly normal, if troublesome. He simply reached for his bow and quiver as he always did.

But tonight, something was amiss. They weren’t where they had been the previous evening, and as he reached to turn on the lantern, a painfully bright light shone straight into his eyes. Kyren winced, closing his eyes; he was blinded.

“Oh, I’m sorry, is that too bright for you?” came a voice too close for his liking. “That’s too bad. Thieves get harsh treatment.”

Despite not recognizing the voice, Kyren knew two things immediately. One, whoever was talking to him was female, and two, she didn’t appreciate his dashing good looks enough.

“On the contrary! I am an angel, not a thief; I assure you that I have never stolen a thing in my life.” As he spoke, his words as persuasive as they could be, his right hand inched towards the single arrow under his pillow. His unknown opponent was surely a creature of the Dark, and if so, she could be purified. “Would this handsome face lie to you?”

She was not amused. “I do believe it would.” And though he couldn’t see it, a flash of anger crossed her face as he made efforts to retrieve the arrow. “After all, I would know – a lie is often easier than the truth.”

“You are sorely mistaken, madam, and – hey!” His right wrist was surrounded by what seemed to be thin rope and pulled away from his pillow. Knowing that the game was up, he lunged forward with his left shoulder to retrieve the arrow. As his fist closed around it, another piece of rope jerked his arm away and out of range of her body. Apparently as insurance, his ankles got the same treatment. He glared into the light, squinting as he did so. As time passed, his eyes did not adjust.

“That was foolish of you,” she said, the anger suppressed but still very obvious. The light shook slightly but not enough for him to catch a glimpse of his enemy before a steel blade was put to his throat. “Maybe this will serve as a better warning.”

“Warning against what?” He was beginning to get quite alarmed.

“Using things that aren’t yours.” The knife traced its way up his throat to his face, then back down to his chest. “I’ll make sure you remember our little meeting.” She chuckled, a familiar sound that Kyren couldn’t quite place.

A small cut appeared on his torso, courtesy of the blade. A cloth was placed over his mouth and nose, a faintly sweet smell emanating from it. The angel went limp within a minute and the unknown woman tenderly tucked him back into bed, removed his bindings and exited carrying only a small knife.

That morning, Kyren woke promptly at sunrise to a distant pain in his side and his emergency arrow clutched in hand. Rolling back the covers, he saw a short cut in his skin, marring the perfection. The angel cursed, and the memories of that night came flooding back.

Reaching for his bow and quiver instinctively, he found them without any trouble. Although he knew that she must be long gone, he slid out of bed, put his bare feet into boots and rushed outside in his boxers. Stringing an arrow, he waited outside of his tent for someone or something to appear, but all was silent in the predawn manner. As the world grew brighter, noises from the main encampment began to overpower any ambient noise he could have heard.

Heading back inside the tent to pull on some pants and put on his crown, Kyren realized that he was covered in sweat. He ran a hand through his hair; sleeping had not improved it. Besides, he needed a shower to relax.

Quick flying got him to the Captains’ showers in less than a minute, and as he entered the stall, the warm water helped him relax. Wetting his hair, he reached for the familiar yet absurdly expensive brand-name bottle of extra-moisturizing conditioner when he felt it: a cripplingly painful twinge in the cut that had stopped bleeding hours before.

It was only then that Kyren realized that there was a name and notice on the bottle.

“Anonimar’s! DO NOT USE.”

(Since I already posted it in the contest thread, it is in a quote.

edit: Well, uh, apparently quotes don't work here like I thought they did. ^^; )

[Quiet Man Cometh]

I don't know much about the characters except Anonimar is something of a split personality and Kyren's torso is availble to buy in the shop but I followed it well enough. Amusing. :)

[Sage]

Anonimar's a split personality!? Well, that goes to show how effective my research was. xD I mostly referred to the fact that Anonimar's good with illusion and fights with ribbons and stuff.

Thanks. ^^

[Serra Britt]

I really loved reading it Sage :3 The ending was WONDERFUL in my opinion but then again I love humor in my stories :)

[Quiet Man Cometh]

I might be thinking of a different character, Chamaros or whatever her/his name is. Not sure. I know one character has that sort of thing going. This makes me think of the Anonimar and Kyren cartoon drawing where Anonimar is annoyed about something.

[Sage]

Thank you, Serra! ^^ Humor was what I aimed for.

QMC, I actually got the idea for it from that image, although it evolved considerably from a "he used my hairbrush!" complaint.

[Ashurato]

@ Quiet - The split one should be Chamaros.

[Quiet Man Cometh]

Kk. I knew it was somebody and I'll take your word on that since I'm barely acquainted with most of the characters besides Azeil, Ashura, and Darby.

[Athilea Majiri]

Very nice! I enjoyed it a lot!