[Duchess]

*listens to Despicable on repeat* @.@

*Is brainwashed*

There needs a female version for this song... I'ma record it..then animate to it... I just need someone who's good with background trax. >w>

[Sadrain]

... I don't want to sound like a teacher, but it seems that every time someone tries to come close to you, you push them away, and sometimes quite rudely. It is probably self-protection of sorts, but sometimes you push away someone who really wanted to talk you, not only find a weak spot to sink their fangs in. I am guessing that you act similarly in real life. I can't really give any advice, since I like to keep my distance as well until I feel I can trust those people (and sometimes, sadly, that feeling isn't right).

[Yuki]

I'm not even thinking about it myself...really.. >.<;

[Sadrain]

If you want to talk with someone sometime, you can talk with me. I promise I won't pester you about things you don't want to talk about and won't spit in your face or your soul. I also won't teach you how to really live and promise to be honest.

[Yuki]

It's just that the only really friend I ever had betrayed me big time and I never bothered making any other friends. Well I did just hangout with some people in middle school but that's it. There was people I talked to and gamed together with in elementary school but we never got any further. Kindergarten hardly counts as anything...everyone played with everyone...Yeah and you can guess for yourself how high school went. xp Nothing really happened at all. Oh yeah that's pretty much what I've had.

When it comes to friends on the internet...I rather not talk about it. Worst than a soap opera...But there's still one guy I talk to since years back but he lives like far away. And there's also another girl but she lives in another country. >_> I'm out of luck...I have no idea what to do. Talking with people like this is my only way to communicate with people and not break down and kill somebody. Cause I'm not sure but if anything ever happens again, if someone starts saying bad stuff to me I can't promise I wont touch them...sounds crazy...I just don't know what I'd do...it's better to not find out...

Wow yeah that was pretty unnecessary telling I dunno...

[Sadrain]

I have also wanted to destroy some people, at least my memories of them, after they betrayed me very, very painfully. Yes, those were only internet friends, but I have never had a single real life friend, and knowing how naive and trusting I was when I was younger, I think that is better, since I don't know how I would bear betrayal of a person I have laughed and talked with in real life.

I treasure those few friends I have in Internet, because in the time it seemed easier to step of the sidewalk and under a car, I didn't do it, only because I had someone to talk with. That's why I also don't really think that internet friendship is somehow less worthy than real one.

And if you wanted to say this, then it is not unnecessary.

[Sei]

*sleeps on Rainy's cloud* <3

[Duchess]

OO friends talk. My friends betrayed me too. Both real life and online. I have no friends now.. I dont really want any.

I like have close acquaintances to hang out with and chat. But no one will ever know all of me. Never ever again. Not enough to be called a friend.

[Hermes]

THOSE TURTLES THAT WERE CLIMBING TURTLES COULDN'T GET OVER THE TURTLE FENCE!

[Sadrain]

I have said that, too, Duchess, but... I suppose every pot has its lid. Now, that I am much more careful and know people better, it is easier to pick out those few who I let close to my self.

Hello Hermes.

-puts blanket over Sei- ^^

[Yuki]

Well my friend decided I'm not good enough any more. She wanted to change and in order to do so she thought she had to drop her old trash. She changed like...completely, everything. THAT wasn't even her but she thought people would like her better that way. Nobody wanted to say it but everyone thought she had become weird, fake, a bitch. She did everything she was against before. She went against everything she stood for.

I tried to ignore her but things started smelling "fish" and I just had to ask her every now and then about stuff to hear what she had to say and of course she couldn't answer properly cause there was NOTHING to complain at. I told her she could have just told me years ago if something was wrong and she got even more pissed and never talked to me again. Ever again, not even did she say "hi". But I had to see her everyday anyways cause we went to the same class and sat by the same table every break. Cause I didn't wanna be all alone risking getting attacked by other kids in the hall ways so I hung out with other people.

You know what? I wished I never became friends with her in the first place. Because of her I couldn't get any other friends becuase whenever I talked to other guys she'd get pissed and jealous. She never said anything but I could tell. I know it's stupid to blame her but I couldn't just leave her there she was my friend. Apparently I should have cause she ended up shitting me.

Now add getting harassed everyday by other kids for stupid reasons and a retarded mom's boyfriend who also harassed me til I went nuts chewing on my own fingers. Plus finding out having a neurological decease that could have explained lots stuff but teachers decided to consider me dumb in the head and made me do shit instead of finding out years earlier.

Most kids in my situation would have stated drinking, smoking or even killed themselves. I have done neither. How do I deal with it? I don't.

*lolfail

[Sei]

*naps and naps* I'm just more careful with whom I'm friends with. :3

[Yuki]

If it was that easy.

[Hermes]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qizNQKzatXA

GO BUILD A TURTLE DEFENSE!

[Zypher]

Some people just aren't worth the stress.

-fiddles with stuff-

[Sadrain]

-sighs- I wish I could really, truly help. I can't even give real advice, because I also have been harassed, I also have been the wrong one. Always. I don't drink, smoke, do drugs, make out in dark corners, use make up, dye my hair, dress wrong and am just the freak overall, because of my personality. I have believed them that I am just a trash. Oh, heck, I still believe them to some point. There are times when I break down, when I can't learn a single thing, when I feel like an idiot and it is hard to not to cry most of the time.

But I am still here. I am not going to give up. It would give them too much joy and sometimes I despise my self for just being so darn weak, for even considering it. I still find strength to hold on. Sometimes because of my friends, sometimes for the sake of just not giving up. I am dependent on my friends, maybe too much even sometimes, and therefor, those betrayals hurt so much, that's why I doubted there is a single person in whole world who could accept me the way I am.

But there is. And more than one. And there still will be others. World is big and I can never know where I suddenly can find someone who will understand and accept me. I just hope that you will find these people, too, at least one person. There is one for you, too, I am sure. -hugs- Just... Don't push everyone away always. Those who could understand you, have been hurt by something, too, and they don't want to break into other's life unwelcomed. And the way you push them away can hurt them too, make them feel like again someone considers them freak, somewhat disgusting disturbance.