[Lawtan]

Well, I am changing colleges/schools...which is a bit difficult as I have at most one semester under my belt.

Situations (and realizations) have put off my former college (Carnegie Mellon) from my plate for a while (A year or until I get a Bachelors Degree elsewhere, I don't know which).

This is highly bittersweet for me. On one hand, this makes it much easier for me to construct a life that is akin to the summation of SUMMIT (Archery, Falconry, History, Arts, Music, Astronomy)...it means more regrets for myself - it is a form of alienation from those I have come to care about in real life.

My pride is such as to feel personal shame at being behind, even though most who I know to have went through what I have are worse on the stability-livelihood-success scale.

This is not meant as a "woe is me" sort of thing - I do not want pity or worry. This is simply to let loose a stressor in my current life.

I will admit to being lost.

[Espy]

Well...

...I won't say I'm surprised.

But...will you still be here for the spring semester?

And who cares about being a bit behind? Most people aren't gonna look down on you for taking five years to finish college, or six, or seven. As long as you're doing what's healthy and happy for yourself, that's...really all that matters.

Yes, I'm still going to worry about you, because that's what I do. But I won't worry solely about you. And what does that scale matter? It's never too late to start again and again, if that's what you need, yeah?

Also, I can PM you here or on FB if you need more help/college choices.

[Lawtan]

Pity I can't be more surprising...pretty three-note right now, I suppose.
If I do come back in a year, I'll be sure to have a good few more notes. You can be certified in many things in the equivalent of 3 semesters.

(One reason for considering taking more time - found a Falconry Training place back home...)

[Alpha]

Lawtan needs to come visit Alpha & Tiva a few hours east.......

[Espy]

No, Alpha and Tiva need to come /here/.

[Lawtan]

Well...if I knew where east, I would.

[Poggio]

I have to be honest college is important but not for the degree. If you are worried about the people you are leaving behind then their are always methods of keeping in touch. When you aren't studying college will help you discover who you are and with any luck some confidence to get a job in the real world. Perhaps doing what you love or perhaps not. If music is your thing it never leaves you.

[Quiet Man Cometh]

I know how it can feel to be behind, Lawtan. Because of my health I didn't finish high school until I was 21, and I'm still embarrassed to admit that. I was rejected from the original program I wanted, twice (GPA was not a problem, but experience was), taking the year to work and doing so again after my second year. I took five years to get my degree, which is nothing unusual. I had two university roommates who were both in year 6. I switched schools as well, taking my first two years at a local college before transferring to a university that was twice the size of the town I left.

Feeling inadequate can be hard to shake, but you might find by talking to other people that your situation isn't as unique or as problematic as you might think.

[Lawtan]

Stopping by again on this, I have to ponder a few things (Pittsburgh-ites, now would be a good time for advice)

If I were to return to Carnegie Mellon, it would be to a BxA major. However, it appears that their program in on par with local ones, and locally there is a Falconry training center...

My visions/goals for myself -
Picture a fellow playing the harp,
A falcon on shoulder with it's beak sharp,
Pocketa of wires, paint, and multitools,
And Half-written script of merry fools,
Perhaps a wagon, a machine shop with a scope,
To count the stars in fields remote,
A program, a game, a graphic piece,
A pup, first aid, and musical peace,
A roving rounded folk growing his own,
To sell and charm kids with tales of Rome,
Yes, such is the best I alone could aim,
And those skills - they're needed to any further claim.

[Espy]

Okay, I'll be honest with you.

You probably need to find a job, a steady job, to do all of that. Those are your hobbies. Before you go off in pursuit of your hobbies, you gotta first have an income. Yes, I know to some extent the life you want to live, but you can't be so far removed from the technical world that you completely disregard your studies in favor of that.

At the same time, you also should study a field you're interested in and will like, but which will also challenge you.

So yes, if you want to do BxA, do that; if you want to continue in CIT, do that. Do what feels right, but before you can stand fully on your own two feet, school should be your first priority. No, I'm not taking my parents' stance that you need to completely focus on your first priority and get that finished before you can move on to anything else, but don't let things you can do later on take precedence over it.

[Lawtan]

...
*Never try to describe thoughts in poetry again - was not what I was meaning at all*

[Espy]

(Also, was not basing my response off that poem entirely. Had also been thinking about that conversation about probation.)

[Lawtan]

-Realized I just need to answer the question myself-

[Fauxreal]

About being behind everyone else... I was YEARS behind, but I did finally go back to school and I now have my BA. <3 I didn't care. They all acted older than me anyway.

[Espy]

Originally Posted by Fauxreal

They all acted older than me anyway.

FFFFF HAHAHAHA.

To be honest, if you're the only one who worries constantly about being behind everyone else, about having to catch up, and no one else worries about it....why concern yourself? Seriously, the people who rush ahead, try their best to stay on schedule -- it's like hiking up a mountain to see the sunset. Those who take their time might not get to see the whole sunset, or the most brilliant parts, but they'll be able to enjoy the hike up, enjoy the scenery, the wildlife. That's how my mom and I are.

On the other hand, my dad is the kind of person to rush all the way to the top to see the main attraction -- the sunset. In the meanwhile, he's skipping all of the mountain flowers and the woodpeckers. But then again, my family works well like that -- we learn from each other.

You're not behind or "taking it slowly" because you /can't handle it/; you're taking the time to enjoy life while working on your goals. Think of it that way.

[Lawtan]

I have recently been realizing I have some envy/anger issues. Anger being reversed back onto myself in the form of depression, and envy turning into avoidance and fear.

I envy the fact that there are events I am fully barred from now, and I feel a great deal of...rage towards CMU (The University, not the students).