[Meizicht]

That's kind of why I told him that I wasn't going to come back until he got it.
I hate talking about this stuff with people, because it makes me sound like such a chick ( speaking stereotypically, not actually, nobody jump at me for being sexist or something ) but when I start having dreams about this shit, like getting cheated on, etc, it's not funny for me. Makes me feel like shit. But since he doesn't get it, he doesn't care, and I guess the only way to maybe get him to think maybe I'm not fucking around, is to leave until he comes to me - since usually I'm always the one initiating everything.
To be honest though, I'm thinking he might not. It's not like it would be his fault though. If he figures out that he doesn't like me as much as he thought, it's not like he could help it. You can't make someone love someone else. But the history kind of piles up.
There was a time a few months ago where a mutual friend of ours who I talked to often about issues I had, turned and told him that I was too gloomy and that he should cheat on me with her when she was going to a con in his city. And he told me he actually thought about doing it. A month after she suggested it. So for a month, I was a fucking idiot because I was still talking to her, thinking she was a friend. And with him telling me that, I still think about it, one of the bigger things that has fucked me up over time.
So if he decides that it's not what he thought it was, Idk what the hell I'm going to do, but it's not like I didn't see it coming. ( Not like I'm much better. I'm ice when it comes to affection. But he knows exactly why I'm like that. )

Ugh if it turns out like that, I'm sorry beforehand.

[Lauv Keiko]

Whoa, what a real bitch. She's not a friend, she's a bitch for doing that. Why do some people do shit like that? and what's worse is that Kai actually "contemplated" on doing it. And it seems to me like he was held something back by something he's "obliged" to do.
what.the.fuck.

[Meizicht]

He's not entirely the bad guy. It's not like he does that stuff all the time. And he was honest about it. I don't want him to sound like some asshole, lol.
I'm just not going to be surprised if he figures out he doesn't think as strongly of me as he thought.
But I'mma be a wreck lol.

[Lauv Keiko]

Well, giving him time to think is a good idea. He'll miss you eventually.

[Meizicht]

Well, I'm hoping he actually gets it, aside from missing me. x__x;

But anyway.
I miss the times where I had a ton of people on my YIM lissst.
I wouldn't have a moment of boredom.

[Lauv Keiko]

Once he misses you, he'll start thinking, once he starts thinking, he'll regret the shit he does and makes it up.


what happened to them all?

[Meizicht]

Er, life, I guess. And other things which I told you about via PM. xD;
Though I think my YIM has been kind of buggy for a while. Especially with those who use MSN. It'll show me as offline no matter what I do, and they'll show up as offline too, and usually when that happens, it loses some of our messages.
Which is stupid. But like hell I'mma use MSN again.
When I used MSN, it gave me so much malware that it ate 30gigs of stuff off my harddrive. And since then, I wont touch MSN with anything. =A=
Skype and AIM use up too much of my CPU whichIdon'thavemuchof.
So those are usually out of the question unless I don't want to draw.
@__@

[Lauv Keiko]

That's why using pidgin is a whole lot easier xD really. Very very basic programming. xD

[Meizicht]

I hardly know anyone who uses it though. @__@
I wish there was one place where people would go. Then there wouldn't be a problem. OTL

[Lauv Keiko]

no no no, Pidgin is universal chat client. You sign in with different IM clients all at once.
You can sign in to AOL, YIM, MSN, and etc without the trouble of malware and taking up CPU process. xD

[Meizicht]

Ahhh.
I've heard there were problems with that though. o__O
I had one friend who used pidgin for AIM and her messages kind of ended up lost in space a few times. xD
There's always a problem with anything OTL
I may try it anyway lol

[Lauv Keiko]

I never had a problem with it before. I liked it a lot.
I had to uninstall it though, too much drama in it. ALL THE MEMORIES.

[Meizicht]

xDD I don't think I was involved in a lot of drama.
Not anything that I was a main part of.
I always ended up dragged into it against my will though. @__@

.. I do have to say I may have caused drama without knowing it though. xDD
+used to be a 'dont give a shit' type of guy+

[Lauv Keiko]

and now you're the I give a shit type of guy, huh?

lol, it's mostly internet drama, I hated it... so yeah/

[Meizicht]

Things happened and I lost my spine somewhere. xD;
I've gotta start building it back up. I'm kinda pitiful now lol.

I'm gonna get to trying pidgin @__@
And getting food...
And maybe doing the rest of my work, since I'm feeling better, lol
If my Pidgin adventure is successful, maybe I'll talk to you there? >A>
I get so absorbed in drawing, that sometimes ( most of the time ) I forget to check here. xD

[Lauv Keiko]

I will try downloading it again just for you my looooove~