[Serah]

Hi everyone, it's me again...

I've been talking to my ex-boyfriend trying to be his friend at least. He dumped me and I wanted to get back together when he asked me but I was too afraid. I didn't want to get hurt again so soon. I noticed he was talking to me less and less. I wasn't too bothered at first. I called him tonight and talked to him saying, "If we are gonna date again you gotta talk to me, you know." Trying to be playful about it, not mean spirited. He says, "Then maybe I should stay single longer." My heart stopped and I started cry and he didn't really say anything. I explained to him I was starting to get more comfortable with him and I wanted to be with him again. He thinks it's in my best interest if we don't date again. I asked him if it had anything else to do with it, another woman or something. Stupid question, I know. He said no, his reason was he wouldn't have time for me and he didn't want to hurt me. But at this point right now nothing would hurt me more than that. I haven't had any contact with anyone besides my family for two weeks? I have tried to make friends starting slowly with emails because I was almost raped a few years ago and most men I tried to make friends with just harassed me and stalked me. Nothing seems to stick though, I don't have any common interests with the people in my classes. The thought of rejection again from my ex-boyfriend and him not speaking to me will be devastating. Spending time with my family is not really something I want to do either. My mother has been belittling me and making me feel less of myself. My father doesn't seem to understand how I feel even though I'm most like him. My friends don't seem to talk to me much anymore no matter what I do. Both online and real life don't seem to have time. He said he needed some time to think but I just want to be with him again. I'm still in love with him. I've been so depressed with having no one to talk to and feeling isolated in my classes because I just feel I'm not on the same level as everyone else. I just wanted some advice or someone to talk to. If you could please, guys. Thanks.

tl;dr: Ex broke up with me, I wanted to get back together now after a couple months but now he thinks it would be in my best interest if we didn't. I've been depressed because I'm lonely and feel rejected by my family and friends. Things will get worse if he and I stop talking. I'd like some advice or someone to talk to. Thanks.

[BakedGewds]

I don't think you miss him as much as you're just lonely.
When people break up, those feelings don't just magically vanish. Odds are they've been gone from one of you, or it was a sudden decision and is going to take time to sink in.

You might THINK you still love him, and miss him.. but what you really miss is the company he provided. Just keep trying to make friends, try to crawl out of your shell a little more. Try to spend some time with your family, and if your mom tries to insult you, politely ask her not to. If she continues well then fuck her because she's sort of a bitch. ^^

Don't be a victim.
Once you're a victim you're always going to be a victim.

[Batty]

Thats really sound advice, Bakedy!

Honestly, I've been where you're at. The best thing you could possibly do, is just talk to him. Don't bring up dating again, no talk about relationships. Just simple conversation. Let him into your world a little bit, with talk about whats going on with you, whats going on with him, etc. The best you could do, is keep everything neutral, you know?

I know the feeling of missing someone like that, EVEN if its just for the company. And in the mean time, don't give up trying to make friends. Eventually, SOMEONE will stick. I know its easier said than done.. but giving up is the worst option.

[Serah]

I don't mean to offend you with what I say and if I do, I apologize.

He wasn't a place holder boyfriend. He is someone I fell in love with, we dated for a couple years. He tells me he still loves me and only thinks of me. I don't doubt that he has probably looks at other women but it's not about the company. We are really close to each other even as just friends. If it was the company I was missing wouldn't I have just moved on by now?

I am lonely because I keep trying to make new friends but things aren't sticking. And the friends I do have don't have time for me anymore it seems. I can tell the difference between being lonely and genuinely missing someone.

Plus I have tried with my mother it has gotten to a point that there is no convincing her. My father knows about this behavior too and sits idly by. The only comfort he offers is "Well, she's your mother."


Edit: I'll try that whenever we talk again. He wanted some time to think things out and I was fine with that.

[Batty]

Thats a good start!

I know the friend thing... trust me.
I have TWO friends, one of which, lives with me.

The other one, I try to chill with, and she never really has the time. Everyone else either has other things going on, or, they never get back to me.

[Serah]

One of my friends came to visit home when her mom went for surgery and I kept trying to ask her if everything was going alright but she never picked up or answered. I didn't want to pester her because what if something did happen, I would feel bad. But I found out she was apparently playing WoW or something so hopefully her mom isn't bad.

My other friend doesn't respond to my texts and I've mostly given up on her because she only talks to me when she's lonely and wants someone to hang out with.