[Hero]

Dear Self,
Stop trying so hard to be someone you're not.

[Gallagher]

Self,

I honestly don't know what you've been thinking. You didn't tell anyone when you got back together with him. What will you do now that you're breaking up? You're not even surprised, are you? You're such a hypocrite, and a liar. Who will you talk to now? No one else knows about it. It was stupid of you to try in the first place. You knew exactly how this would end. You're screwed up, and you know it. You can't be what anyone needs, because you can't even handle your own emotions.

You should feel guilty. It's pathetic, the way you pick apart your own issues, learning about them and trying to get some sense of control. Just because you can tell people terms, that doesn't mean they'll understand. It doesn't mean you'll be any better off. So you feel neglected, lonely, and misunderstood. So you've been raped and abused. So what? Do you know how many other people have, too? You act like you've gotten past it, like you can help other people get past it, too, but you know what you do. Sure, it's not cutting, but you do hurt yourself, don't you? Everything you say you are is a lie.

If you have no work to do, stop all of this shit and just go get drunk. You might as well feel alright for a few hours. It sure as hell couldn't make things worse.

[Serra Britt]

I'm not a bad person for making my decision and I need to stop thinking such things. There were consequences on each side and I new that. Both choices would have made me happy in different ways, and I knew I couldn't have both.

-Me

[Kotomi]

Dear Diary,

My tab button doesn't seem to be working and I'm paranoid to the point I know I can't sleep tonight... rahhh saw a roach in the bathroom!!!!
-_-;; sad
why am I the first and only one here in this house to be able to see them while they are still alive
only one who seems able to also kill them here

sigh, I missed it... like how I missed the other one a few years ago... the first night... and wasn't able to sleep because my family didn't believe me until after I showed evidence, for once now mom believes me but she looked lightly through the area and went to sleep again... I understand you need sleep and all but ahhhh.....not going to have the light off tonight

hates creepy crawly
didn't help the first time I saw one it was right in front of my face when I went to bed and showed up in the blinking light of my charging computer... and I flipped after it got on my leg...

[Asami]

Dear diary,

Stop being so withdrawn and depressed. Just because people say things doesn't make them true. You need to stop taking things to heart. You're no more important than the next person. In fact you are less important than anyone. You should work harder and harder.
You are just so lazy. No wonder you get yelled at all the time! You deserve it. You deserve every insult they throw at you. Just lay down and accept it like the good little girl you are. I'm glad you've finally decided to give up and not fight anymore. Its a good thing to be a door mat. There's less fights and heartache that way.

One day you are going to realize what you know inside and part of you who knows it will laugh and the other part will cry.

Which brings me to my next point. Stop. Crying. All. The. Time. You are such a frikken baby. Not everything deserves to be cried over. You annoy everyone when they find you crying over something so retarded and meaningless. They all make fun of you and you know it.

You need to try harder to mask your feelings instead of wearing them on your sleeve. People are already suspecting something is up. You get messages all the time asking what's wrong or if you are mad at someone on facebook. Just get over yourself. Keep telling them you're alright. Do not slip and tell them what's happening with you. Don't tell them what's wrong. They don't care. You don't care. Its all good. So smile more and make it convincing. Stop hiding in your room. Go hangout with people. Show them everything is okay and nothing is wrong.
I know its hard but at least pretend to be strong even though you are so pathetic and weak.

I know most everyone wants you gone. I mean look at yourself! So annoying and such a whiner! I mean even people on trisphee hate your guts and hope you leave. You probably should. I mean you've been getting on less and posting so little because you are beginning to realize how much the people here don't like you. You force yourself into conversations and people don't like that. In fact they ignore you just to show you how much they want you gone! So maybe you should leave. They are already making plans with your items. You should let them do what they want instead of what you had planned. You learned just how much people hate you and want you gone. Especially one person you really cared about. She probably has been faking everything just like everyone else in your life. You have no real friends. People use you then throw you away when they are done. And during the friendship you cling so much because somewhere deep down you KNOW they will leave you and you don't want them to. Just don't cry when it happens like you always do. Every single fake friend you've had from Ashley to kortney you've cried over. You pathetic worthless piece of shit. Especially kortney. She ruined you beyond repair yes jess has been able to fix you a bit but its only time until she leaves and you'll fall down that pitt again.

I know you think how dare they do this to me. But you know. You do deserve it. Look how you are when you're friends with them. Always saying the wrong thing. Laughing too loud. Being so annoying. If only they u.derstood why you do those things maybe they wouldn't leave you. Maybe...

Oh. Stop telling people about your scars and problems. You know your stomach will NEVER be attractive because of what you carved into it even if Mike does kiss it and such... he finds it repulsive I know it. Every inch of me is just so... gross. I'm not worth being in a relationship with. Im just too broken and all around not attractive. I mean look at you. Do you want me to get started? Your hair is so gross it gets greasy so fast oh and its too thin and you can never make it look okay Its always in the worst hairstyle imaginable. Oh and the color. Blech .. your face is too fat and you have a double chin and its so hairy! You have long sideburns and you do have a beard and moustache. Your chest is too large and your arms are fat. So frikken fat. Your arms and wrists are riddled with scars and burns. Your fingers are too fat and your nails are horrid. Your stomach. Oh my God. What the fuck is that! So fat. So large. You need to STOP eatting you fucking pig. Your thighs are so big she. You walk they rub each other. Ect you just need to stop eatting. Seriously. Look at yourself how can you think yourself attractive ever? :/ no one could ever love you. No one wants to be seen with you or be around you.

All in all. Maybe you should withdraw yourself more... maybe its a good thing for you to not push your company on others. They don't want you so why should you try???

Love,
yourself.

[hyjin]

Dear self,

Go to sleep earlier and wake up early... need to stop sleeping in for so long.

[Rainbowfox Ari]

Dear Self,

Do you really know what it is you think you're doing? I know you're not trying to push people away - but you need to get your priorities in order, and stop taking everything so damn seriously. You're not the end-all-be-all, and will never be, so when someone says something - just go with it. Sometimes, relationships aren't meant to last, but the ones that are you have to work for. Staying away from hurtful things isn't going to help anyone - let alone you. Or them.

Quit acting like you know what you're talking about when you clearly do not. If you did, then you wouldn't be so indecisive as it was. You may be older, but you're not anyone's shining light. Not even your own.

Quit asking how people can stand you. There's just no accounting for things like that - it's not as though you go out of your way to tick people off. So that's probably why they hang around. And STOP asking people to 'hang out' - especially a week before you're supposed to go to Florida. You only have so much money. Don't blow it.

Give her a ride, but don't go in yourself. You can't afford it. That, and do you really need another Woodbaby? Don't answer that without thinking.

-- Sincerely,
Yourself



Dear Woodpecker,

If you don't stop drumming on the house, as I have respectfully asked you to do multiple times now [and sometimes not so respectfully] - I will personally see to it that every lady woodpecker within sixteen miles knows that you are a playa'. Then you will never get a date, never breed, and never have egglets. So if you would KINDLY knock it off?

- Arri

[Asami]

Dear diary,

Is this helping? Everything you do... does it help? All you are is a failure. Maybe you should give up on everything. Just leave and never come back.. no matter how hard you try to convince yourself.that you matter and people do care about you, you don't and they don't.
Mikes only with you because of your huge boobs.
Jessica is friends with you because she pities you
People talk to you on tris because you force yourself into conversations
hell even your family hates you.

What do you have? Nothing.
So just disappear. Maybe things will get better then.

Love,
yourself.

[Reyoki]

Der person,

I am normally a calm, collected, friendly person. However, it is possible to push my buttons. You see, for many years now, I have had this seething pit of bubbling rage festering deep within the core of my being. Now, most of the time I'm able to keep it in check. However, it is becoming quite apparent that the methods I've been using are no longer as effective as they've been in the past. In recent times, I have merely been distancing myself from the things that enrage me. However, this tactic has been less and less effective, as it allows me to dwell upon those things which enrage me.

It is only a matter of time before this pit of rage bubbles over and I do something horrific and unspeakable. If the increased amount of tension headaches is any indication, that time may be very soon. I wonder what it will be that sets me over the edge? Perhaps an unruly child in a store, restaurant, or theater. Perhaps an incompetent or inconsiderate driver. Perhaps even my own relatives. All I know for certain is that, if I cannot find a more suitable outlet for my temper, I am going to unleash my rage very violently on those around me.

Oh, I believe I can see the carnage now. The house's electronics lie in shatters across the charred remains of our home. Friends, family, neighbors, and their pets are all bloodied and bruised, if not dead or dying. Police vehicles line the streets where the carnage began. But where am I? Why, I am that bullet-ridden corpse over there, the shrieks of my unbridled fury still echoing through the minds of the survivors, only to be drowned out by the sound of a train leaving the nearby railroad yard.

Therefore, do not test my patience, and do try to use common sense. I am a sleeping bear and should not be poked, for you do not know if I will simply roll over and go back to sleep or rise up and maul your fucking face off.

Sincerely,
The Dragon Lady

[Asami]

Dear mom,

I am not your slave.. but I gave up arguing a long time ago so I guess I am now...
this is the millionth time ive cleaned the kitchen. Sorry I'm not doing it fast enough.. maybe you should do it.. of course you'd never..

I wonder what you'll do when I'm gone?

Sincerely
your daughter

[Rinni]

(Warning: Might be some mature language )

Dear Diary;

You know, I never thought I would hate anyone more than my mother. This week, I was proved wrong. While my mom has done a lot of hurtful things to me, she was always upfront about it. And, for the most part, it usually only affected me. While she did tell others I wasn't her daughter, and while she reminded me how horrible I was, atleast she let me see my sister.

I found out this week that my other grandmother died. I hadn't heard from her in over a year, which had hurt. And obviously, it was blow to hear that one of the people who encouraged me to draw passed away. But then I got a bigger hit. There was a reason I hadn't heard from her. My dad had moved in with her a few years ago; everyone knew that. And for a while, he was writing me letters. Saying how proud he was of me. And, even though I had never met him, I felt closer to him than I did my mom. Yeah, he had his flaws, but he wasn't as bad as her. How fucking wrong I was. He told his side of the family, my grandmother included, that I wasn't his. To the point that none of them felt it necessary to tell me when my grandmother died. My father was taking the letters I wrote to my grandmother, preventing her from reading them as he told her I didn't give a rat's ass about her. He also kept the letters she tried to send to me.... effectively severing any and all contact we had with one another. I have never been this pissed. Or hurt.

What the fuck did I ever do to you? Yeah, we've had our arguments, but what did I fucking do to warrant this?

I know I'm not the prettiest girl. Or the smartest. Or even the most talented. But what in the hell makes me so unlovable that neither parent wants to claim me? Am I really that bad? Am I really that much of a screw-up? I know I mess things up a lot, and that everything I touch goes to hell in a handbasket, but I try! Why can't either of you see that? I try.

I know I shouldn't let it bother me. I know I should just brush it off, keep smiling, and keep going. But this... this hurt. More than anything my mom has ever done... And I can't really talk to anyone about it because everyone just seems to brush it off as something I can just get over, that I can just bounce back from like I do with everything else. They don't seem to get that I can't. But I try to anyway, faking a smile and trying to be cheerful. It only makes it worse, but it keeps everyone happy. And that's really all I've got at the moment, keeping people happy.

- Rinni

[Law]

Dear Diary,

Life before now has always been hard never was able to do much of anything because of restrictions, and was always terrified even walking about the house. Things are much better now though I've met wonderful new people, and they seem to enjoy me for who I am. I was always scared to make friends before because I never wanted to bring them back home, and see the absolutely awful person I live with. It's not really a problem now hehe. Ever since that awful person was left in a puddle of blood on the floor he has been good because he knows that I'm not going to put up with him anymore, and no diary it's not what you're thinking he wasn't stabbed and he's not dead. He just got his nose busted open, and stained my big brother's pants.

Ever since college started life has been the best though. I've met new people that have similar interests with me because the only people in the classes I have are all engineers as well, so we all love math as well as science it is the best. Hehe firing electrons at atoms causing them to split because they are not longer stable to make energy. The composition of different objects such as sugar being C6H12O6. Everything in the world is made up of elements like this, and it is just so fascinating. Well diary things are wonderful as of now, and I don't think you will see anything other than joyful entries for the longest time now.

Written by Adam on 5-31-2012.

[Fallen]

Dear ***,

Grow some self-confidence already. Stop apologizing for everything and don't draw so much attention to yourself downgrading the work you've done. Your parents have told you that you think too lowly of yourself, and now your professor is telling you that you need to trust yourself. See the pattern? Now go do all that before you destroy yourself and end up like you did back in Middle School!

Oh, and remember: you are fine the way you are. You are beautiful, smart, and talented. You can do anything you set your mind to, so don't give up on yourself so easily...!

- Fallen.
-

[Poggio]

Dear Cannon

I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW. WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND DOES NOT INCLUDE A FUCKING USB CORD WHEN ITS REQUIRED FOR HOOK UP TO THE COMPUTER????!! I will tell you who! you dumbfucks! You just ripped the excitement from my bones. Thank you.

[Rem]

Dear diary
i'm so fucking angry right now i can't even fucking think straight i've been crying i'm so angry and SAD and just -- god damn i'm just. IN DESPAIR
i don't want to care i really don't, i wish it was like 10 years ago when i didn't give a shit but now i do and it just hurts so much to see all this shit go down and all these dreams and shit dashed and i just really fucking sometimes wish i was someone else who didn't give a shit

[NikkoGallarado]

Dear Diary,
It has been a while since I had to write something about anything that has happening with in my life where my feelings are places out into the open. Here is I have been able to keep things in check and also to keep my feelings tomy self this long while. But lately the recent events of work, and what happens at work and other feelings with people I happen to speak to are slowly setting me off to where I feel like I can no longer keep quiet so here it is.

DEAR SAID PERSON YOU REALLY PISS ME OFF AND WHEN I SEE YOU OR TALK TO YOU, YOU PISS ME OFF I HATE HOW YOU TALK ABOUT YOU EVEN WHEN NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT YOU. I LIKE HOW YOU THINK NO ONE KNOWS AND YOU KNOW ALL, I CAN'T FUCKING STAND YOU AND I FEEL LIKE YOU ARE JUST THIS NEEDY PERSON WHO WILL NO GROW UP. WE TALKED IN THE PAST IT FEELS LIKE YOU HAVE LEARNED NOTHING FROM THE PAST CONVERSATIONS WE HAD. NOW I SEE CLEARLY AND YOU MAY WONDER WHY I AM SO HARSH TO YOU.

In reality I have no idea how I am to feel any more, I have been run ragged all my life I as a human being try to not be so selfish but that can't be all humans are and that is something we can't change about something that is to be smart but what can I say, I have tired, and tired I still try this day. . . but I feel sooner or later I will snap the next time I see and go off on you. . .I don't need you to cry again. I hate it when I see people cry. . . .it makes me wanna punch you to stop crying. . . .I will just need to learn how to cope when you are better. But I don't know how long it will last till you break that point also. . . .

Ever hating rage against you. . . .

Nikko

I am the manry-est of men!