[NikkoGallarado]

So as a note, I may not be around for a while guys. . . .

I am the manry-est of men!

[Fauxreal]

Oh no Nikko! Is it because of the move?

Also I'm being admitted to the ER right now for high blood pressure. Really high.

[NikkoGallarado]

No Faux it's other problems. . . .maybe if I have time.

I am the manry-est of men!

[Red Calypso]

I hope you can get back soon, Nikko!

Faux! *hugs* I hope you can get it under control quickly!

[Fauxreal]

Well. I realize real life kinda drags you away from the internet sometimes. I hope whatever it is, it gets resolved quickly and healthy.

[Red Calypso]

*nods* RL has to come first.

[Fauxreal]

Like going to the er even though I want to run out screaming.

[Red Calypso]

*hugs* Just like that.

[NikkoGallarado]

I'm at a breaking point in life right now of where I don't know how to handle what was just thrown at me. . . .

I am the manry-est of men!

[Fauxreal]

Nikko, there are places you can get help, whether it be financial, emotional, spiritual... <3 I've had to use all three of those.

[NikkoGallarado]

I don't know what to feel Faux I don't. . . I feel empty and disconntcted from so much.

I am the manry-est of men!

[Fauxreal]

I have to be honest with you - you decide your own fate.

Thankfully, usually there are many wonderful people around you that can help you, whatever you decide to do - in many aspects of life.

You say you feel empty and disconnected. What would you like to feel connected to? Family? Friends? You aren't the only one that feels that way. I think I'm one of the happiest people I know... but it took a doctor to say, "Faux, you have six months to live," for me to realize I wanted to be happy. THAT is what I wanted to do with my life.

And if you fill empty, start filling it with memories. Go smell a flower. Remember what flower it was, and what it smelled like. Fall in love with something. A person, a song, a pair of shoes. None of these things will last forever, but you can look back and say - I loved that thing - it will always be with me.

And as always, I tell people - if you need to talk to someone, I'm here. I may be a person on the other side of the screen - maybe I'm imaginary to you, but how great is that for you! It's like sending in your secrets to Post Secret!

[NikkoGallarado]

Thanks it's just I am having a bit of hard time wanting to talk to any one, I wanna rant but at the same time I feel like I shouldn't but I also feel like I am bothering people. I know people wanna help but it gotten to the point I am scared to ask for help from any one or even want to express anything cause I may or may not want to hear what the person will say to me. I spent the whole day crying screaming at Ed then having a screaming match at my sister over the phone over family life and things that I have done. I am the older one and she talking to me like I am a kid but I know what I wanted I know what I wanted to do. I never wanna be like them following a crowed I was always the outsider looking in on them.

I'm sorry Fuax I am so sorry. . .I didn't mean to go off like this and in your thread. . .I think I have been enough of a bother as it is.

I am the manry-est of men!

[Fauxreal]

Listen! If it's with me, you NEVER have to feel that way. You rant - 40 pages long if you have to. If it's going to make you feel better... Just talk to me! If you are too shy to do it in thread, PM it to me. I'm the oldest of five kids. I love being an older sister, it's my favorite thing in the world besides being an awesome aunt. <3

RANT ALL YOU WANT HERE! <3

I'm an honest person, and it's true - somethings I say, you might not want to hear... but you can just not read them? Or! If you just tell me... you feel sensitive about a certain subject I can be tactful about it. If you are sensitive about everything, like my youngest sister, I can be calm and just support you if that is what you need. <3

I'm also the one in my family that doesn't quite match, though my way might be a bit different. I'm the one in my family that doesn't like to fight. I can fix arguments in the shortest amount of time among the seven people in my house. (Soon to be eight when my boyfriend moves in!)

YOU ARE NOT A BOTHER! YOU COULD NEVER BE! You are a giving, perceiving, insightful new friend of mine. And if you are my friend that automatically makes you awesome. Plus - you are a hell of a snappy dresser. ;)

[NikkoGallarado]

Thanks Faux, I will keep that in mind, I will just need some time to clear my head and I'll write you what's happening.

I am the manry-est of men!

[Red Calypso]

Nikko, I really can't add much to what Faux said, except to recommend counselling if you can get it. It really does help.