[Lioshika]

So with the recent flooding issues, my grandpa sent my grandma up to stay with us for awhile. Well, you would think it wouldn't kill me but it can. During the first night it wasn't too bad. She'd say how she has to pee and on the way to the bathroom, she stops to play with my chinchilla, to look at paintings, and then doesn't make it in time.

I woke up to her telling my mom how it's my fault that the house is the way it is. My mom asked me to get up even though it's early to kind of get her anything she needs and stuff. Yet, here she is, cleaning and nosing through my shit. Literally she is going through all of my receipts, and my stuff. She was bitching how we don't need a big screen tv. We have a 46" tv. She started in on how I don't need all these pens, that they'll dry up. It was 5 pens. I had already gone through 3 or 4 of the original number of them in the course of two months or so.

I just feel violated by her going through all of my stuff, and then bitching to me how I obviously "buy everything I see" and then I get the cut down of how I should be in science degree program. She rolled her eyes when I said I was doing a history degree.

I am about ready to cry because of her going through everything. I just can't stand this much longer and I told my mom by the time this is over I may need psychiatric therapy. I love my grandma but I hate how she criticizes me so. I'm still scarred from the last time she had to come live with us during a flood issue.

And her house isn't that great either. That's the thing. Her house before the flood was 40 years of packrat. She saved everything "Just In Case" she might need it. Even now, her house is starting that again but it's okay she can be that way?
anyone know how to deal with this?

[littl3chocobo]

well, the only thing i know that works is a pair of noise canceling headphones and a feww small locks though that is only a temporary fix

[Lioshika]

I fear even that won't work. I tried the headphones but she just yells louder until I answer. She's messing up the bathroom and I WILL be putting everything back during the night. I can't stand it. you would think it not being her house, she would respect how we want things, NO. and I am actually crying now because I'm tired of this verbal abuse she gives. I even rather be at work it's so bad. I've been stealing cups of Plum wine hoping it would calm me down but it's not. I can't get to pee because she's in the bathroom, which means i can't even get the damn Benadryl to knock myself the hell out. and my mom says she may not be able to get home. . . I told her I'll sleep in the damn car and let my grandma ruin the house, then when she's done come in and fix everything back to what I wanted and shit. I'm tired of it. She's just. . . FUCK. I can't even describe the pain she causes me. Anyone know a good therapist in NY?

[littl3chocobo]

no but i feel your pain only my thorn is not even family but my beloved's bitch mother^^: she pretty much lives here and leaves food in our fridge to rot and dishes in the sink to fester and invites over small /loud/ children regularary and badmouths me to my face and behind my back and leaves the front door unlocked every day to boot^^:

[Lioshika]

I just. I can't stand this any longer. I have had to pee for two hours and she won't fucking stop cleaning long enough for me to piss. I can't even stop crying. She is FUCKING WITH EVERYTHING. She is worse than a bipolar who has no boundaries. Not only does she not have no boundaries, she feels she has a right to fucking do it! And it automatically is my fault. Like the netty pot my mom has, she just asked me why the hell I had a teapot in the bathroom.

[littl3chocobo]

go to the neighbors to use the bathroom? or bully her out if you are not smaller than she

[Lioshika]

I got her out to pee, but it cost me. She continued saying how I don't know how to use a vacuum, how my mom shouldn't be cleaning the dust because of her allergies (but I have the same damn allergies), how I should be doing all the chores, and bitched about my pile of clothes in my room. I told her (again) I work almost 30 hours a week, go to school, and have homework. So she told me to let them fire me at work. Great role model huh?

[littl3chocobo]

fair enough, now pretend her head exploded and pretend she does not exist, do it boredly, it'll piss her off

[Lioshika]

I would. But I'm crying right now. She outright called me a pig because I can live with dust and said how I'm as bad as my drunkard uncle. And I just told my mom through a text what she did.

[littl3chocobo]

tell her if she doesn't like pigs why did she raise your uncle to be one?

[Lioshika]

She didn't raise my uncle. He's a step. And either way, she taught me hoarding techniques. She is the one who taught me what to save in case, what not to. I don't near as bad as her and she still talks to me in such condescending ways. She even snubbed her nose off when I told her I would not do a science degree. She's pissed about it. -Sighs- Why do old farts have to be such a pain.

[DarkForbidden-Love]

I can't offer much help even though I have a grandma real similar. Usually I can escape to my room because I am getting another headache. (My headaches are noise induced and can lead to seizures)
To be fair escaping your house seems like the best option available to you. If you have friends you hang with do that in between everything else so you stay out of the house. Everyone gets bad relatives every once in a while and the absolute best advice I can give is grin and bear it. I hope she doesn't stay there to long, large amounts of stress can lead to young adults having multiple health problems latter in life.

[Trakadon]

I don't know my grandma very well and she came to visit us a few years ago and all she did was complain about how the our house was dirty and cluttered. She went through the house with my mom and pointed out all of the things she hated and she mad my mom change them and I watched as my grandma sat on her as with a brandy in her hand. Which you'd most likely never see her without one. Except when she is sleeping but even then you'd find a glass next to her bed. She even forced her way into my little 'house' which is more to say it was a custom built shed that was pretty much a studio apartment but she forced her way in and complained how unorganized my room was and wouldn't leave unless I situated everything to way she wanted. I did it of course because I wanted her gone but I soon moved everything back and locked the door after I left.

My grandma isn't used to being talked-back to and one day I had enough of it and told her off. I didn't care about the whole "treat your elders with respect" bit because in my family if you don't show respect then you get none in return.

Your grandma has no right to say those things about you and if I was in your place I'd tell her off. You didn't have to let her stay with you, and you sure as hell don't have to make sure she gets to the bathroom. Your grandma needs to learn that you don't bite the hand that feeds you.

Though that's what I would do... Though I'm not very close to my grandma and my grandpa died when I was wronger though I do remember him being very nice to me but not her...

[Lioshika]

@Dark; I grinned and bear-ed it once before. And I almost cracked. For five months I was virtually a slave to my grandma and my grandpa. She can't walk and he wouldn't get off his lazy ass. I was waiting on them hand and foot night and day for five fucking months.

@Trak; My mom told me I have to show her respect. I was literally bounding down the stairs when I heard the garage door. I was right there to greet her and I was crying. I'm crying now thinking about the whole damn day. How her piss stained panties are on the couch unwashed. How even with mom there, she still was griping about me being basically too stupid to clean. She referred to me when speaking to my mother as "Your daughter". I HAVE A BLOODY NAME. All day she called me Leah (My mom's name). Now I'm "Your daughter". To me it felt like being disowned by her. Being distanced even farther. . . I do a lot of shit for her. I wasted my summers instead of with friends, helping her. I never had that regular childhood. I was always around old farts. Always in the car going to somewhere for my grandpa's business. There were never kids. And now. . . She was talking like I wasn't even there. And I was.

I told my mom though that if she ever calls me a pig and compares me to that drunk again, I won't be able to control my mouth and I will rip her a new one. My mom didn't say anything. Mom walks in and grandma says to her "I figured I'd clean to keep my mind busy" but all day to me it's how I'm a slob and even though I work almost 30 hours a week, full time student with a heavy workload, she doesn't care, I should do all the work so I don't kill my mom with dust.

I also have found she threw out my heat guide for my straightener. Didn't ask what it was, she just threw it the fuck out. I told my mom that was the last straw. I don't go to her house and do that shit, why do it to me?

[Trakadon]

How old is your grandma by the way? I mean if she can't even go to the bathroom by herself why isn't she living in an assisted living home? Granted your grandpa is still alive but but why send her to you guys?

[Reyoki]

I understand your pain quite well. I have pretty much the same problem, except that I live in the same house as my grandma all the time.

She goes through my stuff, nags me because my room is always a mess even though I'm a full-time student and have no time to clean, and when my room is clean she moves her things into my room to get it out of her way. When I confronted her about it, she said, "It's MY damn house! I can do whatever the hell I WANT!"

She also calls me Cherlindonna, which is a combination of all her daughters' names; Cheryl, Linda, and Donna. She calls my Cocker Spaniel a big 'ol elephant (she has two min pins) and yells at him when he doesn't come back inside the first time she calls him.

She refuses to throw out food that's been in the freezer since heaven knows when simply because... it's been in the freezer. I go through the pantry and throw stuff out that's over a year past the expiration date, like some of the salad dressing and barbecue sauce she has stockpiled. If I throw out more than that, she notices... and gives me an earful... about six times a day... because she forgets she'd scolded me already... for throwing out expired food that would've probably made her sick if she'd eaten it.

However, I've managed to survive it since she turned against me... when I reached the age of puberty and stopped being a baby... ten years ago... Now, how did I do this? I found mindless hobbies! I draw, I write, I read, I play videogames, and I go out with my girlfriends as often as possible to get the fuck away from her for a while before I snap and bite her fucking head off.