[Potironette]

My mother is a fervent Buddhist. I'm not.

Today she told me that going away to Canada (after I said I wanted to go to Canada weeks ago) means I'll lose the protection of "Nam Myo Ho Ren Ge Kyo" because it's protecting me in order to protect her.

After I essentially got ticked off and passive-aggressively said that I was strong enough not to need to be protected by religion, she gave me a "We'll See."

...And now she's telling me to never say anything bad about her religion because I'll "suffer" and come "crying back to Nam Myo Ho Ren Ge Kyo."

...And I can't keep my mouth shut because I feel like keeping mum is going to make my social insecurity habits worse.

So, what's a good philosophy in favor of keeping quiet?

[Moonshadow]

OK, that is so not ok! Any religion that works on fear is not a good thing.
My philosophy on this has always been to say the following: I am glad you find comfort in Buddhism (Christianity, Satanism, etc etc.) But I'm not interested in it, so please be respectful of the fact that I don't.

Oh boy! it usually works.

[Potironette]

Alright! Thanks, I'll remember that next time instead of stupidly getting passive-aggressive. Trying for mutual respect is much better/reasonable than acting affronted ><'

[Vee]

Please just remind yourself that if her reaction is not ok, that it's okay for her to feel that way and try not to be terribly effected by it. Religion is such a tough thing, especially in families,
Good luck!

[Potironette]

Thanks Vee, I'll make sure to remember my mom can feel that way--and that that's a separate thing from how I "should" feel (should in quotes because there really isn't a should).

[Coda]

Ironically, that mantra is about persevering through suffering, not about avoiding suffering. >.>

[Potironette]

I had no idea x'D. Although I could easily see that being turned into "you can only persevere if you chant" :/.

[Tiva]

If someone feels the need to protect/pray for me under their religion I typically tell them thank you but I believe the rigidity of my own spirit will get me through it. Don't dis their religion, because they are caring about what happens to you and that is high praise but a gentle reminder that you will be fine without it. Doesn't hurt for them to care, but pushing religion on you is wrong.

[mdom]

She just doesn't want you to be away from her and she's using any kinda of low blow to hit you, don't feel bad.
My mom is christian, I am not. When she says 'may god be with you' and things like that, I just agree. It makes her feel better when she says she prays for me, so good for her. Will her prayers affect me negatively? No, so I just let her be. And everyone else who talks about God to me.

[Potironette]

So, my mom was telling my sister these things about how "JFK died, this was misfortune" and a whole bunch of people "got cancer and died, and that was misfortune" and that was supposed to convince my sister to chant. I butted in and told her I understood her religion was important to her but to please respect my sister and I were atheists who didn't believe in religion.

She told me she was saying that because the camera that I'd bought arrived and it was all scratched up. I told her it was supposed to be scratched up because it was second-hand. She told me she refused to buy my a second hand camera and that I was a low-class person who brought misfortune to the family (she let me use her money to buy a gift on amazon). Then she took $100 in gift cards that my father had given me as a Christmas present. She's also threatening me to call the police...

Now she gave back the money after 5 minutes of silence...And took the camera saying that she had to make sure the camera I bought was good. I told her that I was working within a budget (my sister had a budget of 80 dollars for a artist's armature--turns out now that that wasn't the case).

Actually now she's saying that I should buy a different camera from amazon because she won't give me a cheap gift... Maybe that's her way, but I really hate going through it. Religion seems like a tool she's using, even though she believes in it. I don't really know what to think ><

[littl3chocobo]

it's certainly a control tool and not a legitimate religious concern. she is bullying you into cowing under her authority. i know /this/ sort of thing well and it's not about faith

[Potironette]

Thanks cho. Sometimes I don't know exactly what to think because my way of coping through lots of this stuff is to act rude/disrespectful, and that puts me in position where I'm also at fault ^^;;.

I kind of went on a rant there ^^;;. I was writing it as it happened :/

[littl3chocobo]

haha, i do that too, assuredly XD

[Debauchery]

I was raised in a really strict catholic home growing up and as a result I am less than religious now, so I kinda get where you're coming from.
Just tell her straight up that you don't have the same beliefs as her and ask that she respect that while also respecting that fact that she takes her beliefs pretty seriously and probably only wants you to be "protected" because she loves you.
Like my mom knows I don't believe in the catholic/christian god and she still tells me that she's prayed for me at church. Is it necessary? No, but as long as she doesn't try to drag me to 5 AM mass then I don't really care.

[Potironette]

I did manage to tell her that I didn't have the same beliefs as her, and that I respected she had her beliefs. However, I told her at a time that she had something to be angry about. I should maybe try to do that when she isn't angry.

[Lavender le Fay]

If you'll allow me to add my 2 cents.. (I'll need those back when you're done, thank you.)

I'm atheist and gay, you can imagine that religious people have more than one issue with me. I never seek out to offend or mock anyone for their beliefs, although I could; it's not a system without flaw. Each time someone tells me 'God bless you' or similar things, I say thank you with a smile. I have felt the urge to reply with 'Thank you, but I'm atheist.' That would've been a redundant provocation and a slap to their face over a kind gesture. In today's very messy world, religion gives people some comfort. If that helps them get through their day a little easier, nobody no business taking that away. Now on the other hand, some people outright ready to fight you to prove their belief's superiority or use religion to not have to spend a second using their brain. (If you ask me, those individuals have a very shaky relationship with their deity of choice, but that's a whole different topic.) My opinion is that you will spend some time convincing your mother that you think differently with polite, calm conversation. You'll get nowhere with arguments.