[Suzerain of Sheol]

So, a couple people have asked me to do this and I have some time, so I'm going to give it a try. Whether I get through the entire trilogy remains to be seen.

I'll be watching the Extended versions of the films, as my theatrical cut DVDs are buried in a box in my closet. I will note whether the extensions are for good or ill (in my opinion) as I come across them.

I'll be reviewing these one scene at a time, probably one or two scenes per day, so it's going to take a while to get through this.

Feel free to discuss my reviews in this thread, as I imagine there will be a fair bit to discuss. I'm even open to other people doing reviews of scenes here, if they're up to it. I'll make the actual review posts in a different color so you can tell them apart.

And, I should probably add this disclaimer: I do not like these movies, either as adaptations or just as films, they do not appeal to me, though I loved them when I was younger and I love the books. As such, I'd just like to put this out there right now before we start: I don't have anything against anyone who does like them, and I'm glad that so many people are able to enjoy them.

On a similar note, I'll be endeavoring to keep the tone of my reviews as academic as possible. And I will go out of my way to point out the things I think are done well, so hopefully these will come across as balanced, and not just me ranting.

I'll have the first review up as soon as I finish watching the scene. :)

UPDATE: Okay... so I have a lot more to say than I thought I would. Probably only going to be doing these one per day, or even one every two days.

[Suzerain of Sheol]

The Fellowship of the Ring, Scene 1: One Ring to Rule Them All

I will note first off, the music is perfect here. Almost everywhere in these movies, but especially here.

Cate Blanchett's voice is perfect for Galadriel. They gave her Treebeard's lines, from the end of Return of the King, but they work well enough here.

So... ring forging. A ton of information is passed over for time constraints here, and I understand why they did that, but it does change the nuances of that part of Middle-Earth's history. It paints the elven-smiths as separate Ring-forgers from Sauron, and contributes to Sauron's “evil for the sake of being evil” persona in the films. But, as I said, things do have to be cut, and the relevant information is conveyed to the audience here. Nuance will always be lost in an adaptation.

Also, Gil-Galad and Cirdan are in the background there. I will note that Cirdan has no beard. This bothers me. Also, the Red Ring, Narya, is on Gil-Galad's hand, and Vilya is on Cirdan's hand. This is backwards. Cirdan gave Narya to Gandalf when the Istari first came to Arda at the beginning of the Third Age. This isn't important to 99% of the movies' audience, so I won't hold it against the film, but it does bother me.

The dwarves look pretty much perfect in this scene. As do the men. I especially like that there are Easterling Kings among the 9, as one of the Nazgul, Khamul, the second-in-command, is noted to be an Easterling. I appreciate that detail. Also, the guy in front (I assume that's the Witch-King of Angmar when he was still human) looks a lot like Aragorn, I think. Another nice touch.

Including the map in the prologue is a good move for new viewers, and we'll see that device used several times throughout the films, to help keep non-readers from getting confused with the geography. Though, let us also keep in mind that the map's geography is not always strictly adhered to in the films, either.

And here we have what I mean about Sauron's character. They mention that he deceived the peoples of Middle-Earth, but the actual meaning of that line – that he came among the elven-smiths of Eregion as Mairon Anatar, the Lord of Gifts, an angelic being who taught them Ring-craft, only to later turn it against them when he forged the One – is totally lost. Again, we paint Sauron as a generic Big Bad Evil Guy with no motivation.

As for the Mount Doom scene... I think it's pretty much accurate (bearing in mind the above), though I wonder how, precisely, the ring fit onto that gauntleted finger.

Okay, on to the Last Alliance now. Um... this is a bit of a disaster. First of all, they never fought at Orodruin (Mount Doom). Why would Sauron move this massive army onto the slopes of an active volcano? There is no tactical advantage to be gained by this whatsoever. He is actually forfeiting the tremendous advantage of his tower, Bara-Dur which is a.) the most impregnable fortress in Arda, and b.) completely indestructible as long as the Ring endures. But, no, instead of a seven year siege of the tower, we get a massive pitched battle in front of a volcano.

As for the battle itself... we never see the elven spearmen next to Elrond do anything. The shot switches to swordsmen immediately. Also, humans formations dissolve instantly. Given how heavily outnumbered they are, this is BAD. Why are these people, who have been waging war for hundreds, if not thousands of years, unable to hold even a semblance of discipline on the battlefield? I suspect it is so we can have “hero” shots of Elendil killing orcs on his own.

And... LOL, when Elrond looks into the camera, there is an orc about to crush his skull with a warhammer. How he is saved from near-certain death here shall forever remain a mystery. Said orc is also inside the elvish formation...

I have no idea why Sauron is so slow in combat. There's really no reason for it and it just looks strange on the screen. Those telegraphed swings of his would be pathetically easy to dodge, discounting the spiritual force explosion that seems to follow them. Still.

And... Elendil, the greatest human warrior in Arda at this time, doesn't even get a swing at Sauron. Why, again, are we pointlessly deviating from the book here? What value does making the humans in these films into wimps add to the story? Elendil is supposed to be a 7'6” tall superhuman killing machine. This guy... is not.

And... now we really come to it. Why, WHY does Sauron reach out with his Ring-hand toward Isildur, just begging him to cut it off? We are now firmly characterizing Sauron as both a strategic and tactical moron who deserves what happens to him. Was he not just killing twenty men in a swing with his mace? Why does he turn his back on them to reach out ominously to Isildur? Other than to advance the plot, since they decided the way the scene was written in the book wasn't suitable for film.

Also... why does Sauron explode when he loses the Ring? This is implying that he cannot exist physically without it. Um... well, I suppose in the films that makes sense, since he's never shown as anything but a fiery eyeball. I don't remember Galadriel's narration saying “Into this Ring, he poured his cruelty, his malice, his will to dominate all life, and 100% of his life-force.” I mean, what is stopping Sauron from stomping Isildur's head in and just... picking it back up? Seriously?

I hope it's clear what the problem with this is. It implies that, even if Sauron has the Ring, he is easily defeated by getting a lucky hit in and separating it from him. This softens the threat of Sauron's victory so severely, I have to wonder why anyone in these films is even worried about the Ring.

Are to we to honestly believe that, even if Isildur had picked up the Ring right then and there and tried to use it against Sauron, that he (Sauron) would not have been able to utterly dominate Isildur and retrieve the Ring. I mean, that's kind of the Ring's schtick. It corrupts the bearer into a slave of Sauron. It's a part of his soul, he doesn't need to be in physical contact with it command it. For Eru's sake, Sauron isn't even a physical entity. His body is to him as our clothes are to us. This entire sequence is a gaping plot-hole.

Moving on, random shot of Legolas in armor is random.

As for Isildur's death... I unfortunately cannot remember how this went in the book, so I can't really comment on it. I have a hard time believing that Tolkien had the guy diving into a river in full plate armor in attempt to escape, though.

So, after that low, we go back up quite a bit. Gollum's short scene here is very well done and coneys the relevant information quite well.

'Darkness crept back into the forests of the world.” I assume this is a reference to Sauron's time spent as the Necromancer in Dol Guldur during the events of the Hobbit. I never noticed this reference before. Interesting.

I kind of worry how this prologue with Bilbo is going to look on repeated viewing after the Hobbit is released. Matching the scenes up will be nearly impossible. We shall see.

And... that is it for scene 1. Overall, everything besides the Last Alliance battle was well-done. It's hard to ignore the glaring faults, there, though, as they spread cracks through the entire plot of the films. In this case, I believe that sticking closer to the plot of the books would have resulted in a less problematic sequence.

[Suzerain of Sheol]

Okay... this took me a while, but I've been quite busy. Should be more on-schedule now.

Scene 2: Concerning Hobbits

So, here we have a scene that wasn't in the book, but is more or less essential to introduce the film. I have no problem with this, as a concept. It's within Bilbo's character that he would talk to himself in this fashion.

Again, a good touch with the map, though I'll note that that's a rather undetailed map. It doesn't actually tell a new viewer very much, considering the Shire isn't even called out on it.

I object to him adding “The Third Age of this world,” at the very end. One, it's totally redundant; there's no reason Bilbo would ever say or think that to himself, he probably doesn't even know that it's the Third Age. And secondly, the Age doesn't matter. The First and Second Ages might as well not even exist in the films' universe, they have no bearing on the plot whatsoever.

Okay, now... it seems a bit strange to me that Bilbo is just now writing the first pages of his memoir. He's been home from his adventures for decades. It makes no sense that he would wait until now to begin writing them. I understand the cinematic device, I just think it's illogical.

Though... granted, it does get us a disguised info-dump. I'm not a fan of info-dumps, though, so I can't really excuse this.

At this time, it's probably a good place to point out how wonderful the Shire looks. One of the locations that the filmmakers really got right. It's more or less perfect.

And... that's it for this short scene. Much less to talk about than the prologue, understandably. Overall, it serves a purpose, but it has things that can't help but irritate me. But, I will file them under the burden of adapting the book to a film. It limits the available ways to convey information, and, taken as just a film, there's nothing glaringly wrong with the scene.

[Suzerain of Sheol]

Okay... so the schedule is looking more like one of these a week. *shrugs*

Scene 3: The Shire

O...kay, I'll just come out and say it, I don't like Elijah Wood at all. That look he did into the camera here was downright creepy. He is just... not Frodo to me, at all. I really don't remember Frodo being so... young in the book, but, given that they cut out a good 17 years of plot around this section, I suppose it doesn't really matter.

Gandalf, on the other hand, is one of the best character portrayals in the films, right from this very first scene. Though... I honestly can't remember if this scene was in the book or not. I want to say “no” for some reason, but I'm not sure.

And, again, noting that the Shire looks amazing.

...not a fan of the giddy laughing between Gandalf and Frodo.

Bilbo's monologue sounds very rehearsed, but, given that it's supposed to be what he's writing in the Red Book, I suppose that's okay.

And... cure Gandalf being paranoid about the Ring. Always thought it was a bit of a plothole in the story that he was ever okay with leaving Bilbo with a Ring. I mean, they're pretty much all bad news, as long as the One existed. I suspect it's a holdover to the more fairy-tale nature of the Hobbit and the more benign nature of magic Rings therein.

Also, looking closely, the whole forced perspective shot of Frodo in the wagon seat is a bit fake-looking, but only because I'm trying to spot it, I think.

And... I'm not sure referencing the “incident with the dragon” was the best move. It means nothing to non-book-readers and feels a bit too much like saying “Look! This is a fantasy film!” for no real reason. The verisimilitude and resonance with readers is kind of lost, given how many liberties with the story they take later. It almost feels insulting when they throw lines like that in, knowing what's coming. No matter they are, these films are not... treats for the book purists. At best, they're a separate entity.

I really don't care for Elijah Wood's fake English accent.

An excellent “Gandalf twinkle” from Mckellen when Gandalf sets of the fireworks. He owns this role.

And, that wraps up scene 3. In its role of introducing the characters, it does a fair job. If Frodo had been played by someone more believable in the role, I would rate this scene a lot higher, as everything in it is pretty well done.