[Glitch]

So almost a year ago now, I was dating this boy. He was very controlling to the point I developed extreme anxiety whenever he texted me. I went into melt down panic attacks if I didn't have my phone because he refused to talk to me if I didn't respond within seconds. I still get anxious when he texts me. He refused phone calls, and I eventually found him posting ads on craigslist for other girls.

I broke up with him, he tried to make it my fault, the usual. Anywho - I found a new boy, love of my life kind of boy, and my ex well knows this. But yet he persists in sending me texts. Telling me how much he misses me, how much he misses doing things together, how he dated this other girl but she cheated on him, etc. At first I tried to laugh it off and offered to be friends, he refused. It became a game of him trying to flirt, me trying to roll it out by saying he could tag along with me and my friends if he needed friends so bad, and him saying "nooo nooo we can't see each other. It would get dirty." (but a bit more R rated)

I gave up one time he just wouldn't let up. I quit responding, I quit wishing that people didn't have to hate each other when their relationship ends. I shared everything he said to me with my current boyfriend. I asked him for advise on how to politely turn my ex away, etc. My current guy has started a running joke about my ex being my boyfriend. I haven't responded to him in months but I keep getting, "yo" "hey" "what's up." In my inbox. I left my phone off for awhile (didn't pay my bill) but that didn't deter him. Today he sent "you suck." I think he wanted a response but I just deleted the message. I've checked with my phone company, and they can't block numbers. I love my phone number, it's the bomb, I don't want to have to change it. I hate the anxiety that still grips me when I see his name on my phone. It leaves me jumpy for the rest of the day, every time my phone goes off. It's been months! I don't know what to do, or how to get over it . . . I'm far too passive to tell him off. I'm one of those annoying types that can't stand people not liking them. Any advise or help or anything? Ignoring isn't working. ;(

[Randomology]

Well now, I've seen a story like this before. New a guy named Ariel. He was just as messed up in a situation as you are now. What happened is he had dated this girl named Kim. She ended up cheating on him or something then broke things off and Ariel was heart broken. Every time he'd find a new girlfriend,and here's the similarity, Kim would text him up talking about how she missed him and wanted to do things again. Ariel was confused, broke up with each girl every time and went back to Kim, who, in the end played him. It's one of those "if I can't have you, then no one will!" Situations.

Hate games like that. Long story short, when he finally found the right girl away from Kim, he became so obsessed with being away from her that he married the girlfriend two days after knowing her. She ended up using Ariel for the solicitation of capitol murder. Not making this up either, was on the news for awhile. it sucks cause the charges were dropped on Ariel but the Gov has got him there for at least 30 years as far as we know.

Here's the solution you can take:

As for your obsessed guy, you can go as far as putting out a restraining order on him, or have your phone off for the rest of your life.
The better thing to do is get a good, reliable friend who can help you to confront the meat head and express what you wanna say. Get quite a few friends, including some guys. Serious.
As for any current boyfriends its not worth breaking a relationship because of a stalker ex. So don't avoid your life cause....wait, what was I saying?

Sorry about that my mind wanders some.

I guess I can end by saying if all else fails, no matter how many sox are rocked by your phone number, you may have to change it to get things working or change your service provider so that you can block calls.

Hope that helps. Life is tough when you see the glass half full, but more people need to be that way, i believe.

[Glitch]

It's just the best phone number. XD It's got 28 in it three times. Not that that is a cool number or anything, I just enjoy that it has it in each set of the numbers. I'd share it but then you know, I might end up with weirdos texting me or something. :p

Well, I was tempted to go back to him a couple of times but then I look at the guy I've got and slap myself out of it. I think it's the control that I let him have over me while we were dating that makes me feel like I should be running to his side.I did the entire time we dated, I think it's become instinct. I've been trying to cope by writing a half-fiction half non-fiction short story of our relationship. When I had my class read it at school they all laughed at him and called him a jerk. It helped. Hah!

I do feel like because of my ex I have a hard time fully appreciating my current man. But it's getting a lot better as time goes on. I was watching uhm . . oh what was it . . . Oh I can't remember. Some show. Anyway this woman on the show says, "let a guy have you once and he thinks he owns the mountain."

[Randomology]

Ugh, I hate controlling a** holes like that. Yea when you get into a relationship where the guy is a dominant and driving force through everything you do then the cycle can be hard to break. Oh and no wonder you don't wanna give that number up XD!!. Definately be grateful for the strength you possess in being able to say no to going back to him. believe me, from what I've seen, hell from the dose I even experienced within another situation, I can safely say going back to him will and can ruin your life. I'm telling you, confrontation is the key I'm almost completely positive! like I said, having supportive friends to express for you what you cannot express will help you the most. A strong friend is worth all the world's weight in love and gold. It won't be easy, I can tell you that.

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seriously bad ASS number. I'd say change your service provider so that u can block calls. That way u keep it and can stop the guy from calling you. That's my thought.

[Glitch]

But I'm scared of him D: He's scary. He lived an hour away and he'd text me at 2 in the morning to come over because he was bored. Big metal head type fellow. He took me to a death metal concert, stayed at the front of the mosh pit the entire time. I hid in the back and just got a little bit beat up. Toward the end of being together he was having me look for a person for a threesome. And I did it - because I was so afraid of him being upset. And when I dumped him he comes back with, "You knew I was unhappy. I wasn't looking for somebody else- I was just trying to find a spark with somebody else." Bah! But when I see his texts I just get paralyzed with anxiety and fear and I panic and hide my phone. This whole thing got posted from all the anxiety his text of "you suck" brought on me. I'm also feeling like I've done something terribly bad to warrant him saying that. X(

My phone number is the best. xD Although I did meet a lady whose number ended in 5555. That was pretty cool too.

[CupcakeDolly]

He sounds like a douche, and anyone would tell you the same. Fear is not a good reason to associate with anyone. My most recent ex was controlling and manipulative; he would make me feel like shit in a roundabout sort of way so that I thought I couldn't do any better than him. He actually flat-out said one time that he was out of my league. I honestly don't know why I gave him as many chances as I did, but it got to the point where I didn't care anymore. I was of the "I-don't-want-anyone-to-hate-me" mindset too, but the stress and anxiety was enough for me to finally be the bitch. So I just blocked him the best that I could. When he texted me or messaged me online, I just ignored him. He said some things at times that were inflammatory and obviously only said to get a response from me, but I just pushed them aside. Eventually he stopped talking to me at all because he obviously got the hint that I wanted nothing to do with him. However, if you believe that you might still feel something for him, it's understandable that it might be harder for you to ignore him. IMO, he's no good and he needs to be treated the way that he deserves for him to finally leave you alone.

[Randomology]

WELL SAID! I agree, with the cupcake. It IS time to make that guy know what a jack wagon he really is. Believe me, this world is filled with pain, both destructive and constructive. In hurting him, meaning telling him to piss off etc etc, how ever you wanna go about it, not only will you be helping both of you to move on, not only will you be helping yourself relax, but you will ALSO be helping him look at himself. Who knows, maybe he will change in to a decent human being, maybe he won't do anything. The fact of the matter is, pain isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes it is good to hurt or be hurt when it helps someone or something. Look at Jesus! Did you ever read the story of his crucifixion? Do you know how much pain he endured to bring salvation to those unworthy people in the book? THAT is constructive pain, friend. Now, I'm not saying go maim and crucify the guy, but allowing people to take advantage of your emotions and jeopardize your health and sanity, allowing people to do ANYTHING as long as you are not hurting them, is just hurting yourself. There are a lot of bad things in life. It's like a war. Pick up a sword.


...How was that. Any better? I really hope I can help. I just realized I didn't even ask: do you have strong supportive friends, male or female?

[princeofrose]

You should just tell him to Fuck off. Say sorry, its over. Can't be friends with you (I wouldn't be friends with anyone if they made me feel that way when I got their texts and stuff) And I am cutting everything off.
Who cares what shit he spits at you, just tell him its over. I don't like you. Stop texting me.
Then ignore him forever. Get a new phone/e-mail or whatever he is trying to communicate with you with so he'll get it.

Some guys just don't udnerstand what "No" means until You shove it in their face. The same thing happened to this guy who I NEVER DATED however he didn't understand what NO meant. Its been two years. He still doesn't get it. So its time for me to tell him with very stern language

No more babying them. He doesn't get it, you gotta tell him firmly to get it through his thick skull so he'll understand.

I really don't think you should have anything to do with him especailly if he made you feel that way. You already have enough stressors in life, if their is a friend or a person that constantly makes you anxious from just TEXTS then that definitely is NOT a good relationship. Cut it off pronto. Friends/boyfriends are supposed to be positive and uplifting period

Maybe one day he'll change years from now and you can meet up later and talk about each others experienves and life when you both moved on.
But now. No. The end.

[Chi]

I know this may not be the best solution but you said you shared this with your current boyfriend.
If you're too scared to tell him to shove off, ask your boyfriend to do it? I'm not doubting his care for you but if this is really bothering you, ask him for your help. Ask him to tell your ex to piss off.
If I asked my boyfriend for help on a problem like this he would either tell me what I should say to him or he'd do it himself. Sometimes you just need someone to help you fight this battle.
I recently had this kid hitting on me over and over and eventually I told him, "Look, I have a boyfriend, I'm not interested in you that way. My life is stressed out enough please stop texting me. Maybe we can be friends in the future but you need to give me space."
In your case I would just tell him to leave you alone, he's made it perfectly clear he doesn't want to be friends he wants to be more than that. Don't let him have that tell him you don't want him in your life anymore and if somehow you ever do he needs to leave you alone first.

Edit: And trust me. I hate upsetting people. I feel like crap when I hurt people or make them sad. I try to let guys down nicely when they ask me out or tell me they like me. But in the case I stated above, that kid was crazy. He texted me so much that I started ignoring him and after a month he sent me a message and I dropped the bomb. "I'M NOT INTO YOU!" xD;

[Glitch]

Mmm my boy is more of the, avoid confrontation if possible, and try every route, type guy. Hence why he just turned it into a joke rather than offering any advice to me - or talking to my ex personally. My best friend just keeps saying, "well he just wants you." And my best friend is pro-cheating as I've discovered a lot of gay men around where I live are . . .

I think for now I'll just wait and see if he says anything else, I'm not sure if he will after his last text. My big concern is do I respond to a "yo" with, "listen I have a boyfriend, you can't keep talking to me." Or do I try to make it into a conversation and see if he goes his usual, "I miss having sex with you" route and then say it?

[Chi]

You can keep waiting if you'd like but I don't know if that would make you feel better or not. It's better to probably tell him "I'm not interested" before he gets to the "I want to have sex with you" part because it's better to nip it in the bud before it gets worse, right? And him saying that is letting it get worse. Or you could pull the really mean path and just insult him. >> But that never accomplishes anything.

[Taiania]

My ex was like that. Change your number if you have to. Just keep ignoring them and they'll eventually go away. Jerks like that aren't worth your time anyway.

[Gallowsraven]

Isn't it amazing how so many of us have had similar ex's :D

But seriously hunni, as many times as it's been said, i had the same. Though i hate being pushed around so when he got nasty and sent me a drunken angry text, that i shall not repeat as it's just plain mean and i'm not sure the language is appreciated on here, i kinda marched straight up to him and told him in no uncertain terms that if he didn't quit it and let me get on with my life i'd put his phone and his attitude somewhere that not even a surgeon would be able to retrieve it from. Startled him much? :D though i still won't go near that guy who stalked me . . . seriously, no joke, all happened to me within a year! Worst. Year. Ever.

But yeah, i know how you feel; it got to the point where i was scared he was gonna hit me and i'll be the first to admit i also went along with some things he wanted just so i didn't antagonise him. Stupid me huh. But believe me, it can't last forever. Maybe it's time your boyfriend became a little more possessive of you, or that you told him to push off. If he's continuing with this and won't let it go that's not respecting your wishes.

But all's said and done, this idiot's a bully hun, and bullies don't quit until you stand up to them and tell them where to stick it, because deep down they're afraid of You. And that's what's happened here i think; he's seen you leave him and get a new guy and now he's losing control. Just whatever you do please don't give it back to him.

[Glitch]

Awe man and now when I thought I was almost at the point I could safely erase his phone number - he starts sending friend requests on facebook xp

[Desmond]

Ignore him. If it gets too annoying you can report him for harassing you. ^^

[Glass Heart]

could also just go to the phone company you have and ask them to block his number