[Merskelly Metalien]

Hey, so, I know Thanksgiving is like, more than weeks away, but I thought I’d just be early with the thankfulness vibes. (just so I don’t gotta do it later, and also because I feel like it right now.) >->
Just felt like expressing my gratefulness for having found a new avi forum site community to be a part of again. <:] It means more to me than I initially felt. I still feel alone, and stuck, and ashamed, and worthless at times, but…

Coming onto this site..and posting every day I can..interacting with all of you...dressing up avis...and above all, finding some place to be my goofy guppy self again, feels really endearing.
Back in 2008, I was first introduced to my first avatar community (Kinsaki) that I regularly went online to chat and roleplay with my new friends on, away from school. We played games for KP, played forum games, customized our profile videos and pictures, and commented funny jokes back and forth, made cute signatures, raised dragons and fish, and roleplayed when we could. I was young, and I was innocent, while also being in the middle of a huge Pirate Phase. X}
I was known as WaterGurl999 on there, and my mule account I made upon returning years later, was WaterMantisPrince. I never saw my friends come back online, although I waited for them to be online, until the site was sold and was terminated. :[ I checked Solia, since I lingered on there too, but...no luck.

I guess life takes over, and there was no need to stick around online anymore I suppose...so shall my life likewise proceed, but I hope to remain on here for years to come. <:]
I found this site, when I looked up, and quite literally googled, Best Avatar Forum Sites. I came across a few I checked out a bit, but others were so slow and cluttered with ads, pop ups and maybe malware. I then found Trisphee in that December of 2018, and it seemed relatively nice. Small, and not as active, but that’s just how I liked it. I hoped I wouldn’t be jumping into a dying avi site, but ultimately decided to take the jump. I was a part of an ace site, called Acebook, and it sort of functions as a dating site, :/ or something, so I just left my Ace rants there, and left to find some other place. I had remembered Kinsaki, and so that’s when I wanted to look for another place like it. But…

I had never been on the site to talk to anyone really, except the friends I went to school with. Interacting online with a group of strangers sounded a little risky to me, and I didn’t want to attract the wrong sort of attention. I was brave enough to take that risk though. I felt the loneliness was too great I guess. Up until then, when I wanted just to rant to and be silly around, I did so on other sites and apps, and soon got annoyed and bummed out with the people on there until I regretted even putting myself out there in the first place. Then suddenly my loneliness wasn’t so bad. But it kept returning, and I felt stuck, lost, and unable to get anything off my mind unless I wrote it down in a private journal or through a poem...I missed expressing myself...and I missed being understood..

When I came here, I tried my best not to return to my default, little girl blue personality setting, and though I still feel that WaterGurl999 internally, I know I’ve changed. I’m more mature, less random, less cheery. I try to be thoughtful and kind, and sweet. I also try to break through the screen to slap a giggle into your face with my stupid posts and gifs. <w< One thing that hasn’t changed however, is my affinity for old emoji expressions in nearly every single one of my frickin’ sentences! xD

I’m very quiet irl, and never talk too loud, unless I must, but I am quite expressive when I want to be. I think I always have been. <:] And on here, it’s a good thing. I feel better for having the space and the opportunity to express myself and BE myself, more than I feel able to offline. I like that there are people here who are artists and writers like myself.

I don’t know all of you personally and entirely, and likewise, I might be kind of mysterious myself to you all. But all this year, I’ve witnessed this little online community play games together, share stories, give advice, offer tips, console, express opinion, blow off steam, comfort one another, show concern, help with homework, relate to one another, make each other laugh, make each other dance, offer thanks, express generosity, wish each other well, and support one another. It’s a refreshing thing to witness in a world so chock full of egocentric selfishness, unneighborly hostility, and rampant toxic behavior. <:{ And I hope all of you know, that though we are all suffering and we have our problems and our faults, and our pains and our fears, our scars and our guilts and struggles, that it’s made a little better, with how comforting and kind this little tiny nerdy-ass place on the internet is…

(Not to sound mean, but I hope this totally moved a bunch of you and made you cry a bit, because I’ve gotten pro at writing these by the way. <x’})

With that said, I just wanna say, well,
Thank you Trisphee. For helping me through my day, distracting me from homework, keeping me from more self-destructive behavior, connecting me to people from around the world, and making me smile again.
I now feel like I can start to salvage myself again. <:}
My missing pieces can come together, and I can regain what I’ve lost.
I feel like I’ve lost a lot of myself.
I mean look at me, 8/ I’m a skinny corpse with cybernetic limbs n’ stuff!
(But not really of course.) x}

So Trisphee, -u- you really don’t have to know, and you probably don’t even care, but, as a show of gratitude…

My name is Marina.
I’m 25 years old.
I am asexual, greyromantic, and not quite female in gender despite being of the female sex.
I am underweight at about 100 lbs even, and short, around 5 ft tall even.
I am mexican american on both parents' sides, but my skin is light tan sandy.
And I don’t speak a lick of spanish nor do I have close cultural ties.
I live with my family in California, but I want to live somewhere less suffocating.
I should really be getting to sleep soon… <x}
I want to be a writer. At least, that’s what my current interest is in.
I’m close to my little brother, unlike most siblings, and care for him dearly. (But I used to hate him when he was little!)
I love fantasy and sci fi, and horror. Mysteries and comedies too.
My favorite fabric is velvet.
I don’t like chocolate, or candy, or flowers so valentine’s day makes me look like a jerk.
I’m NEVER this accurate in real life crane games than I am on here! 8]
I like video games, even though I haven’t played much, and I can’t compete with anyone really..(except for crash team racing. 83)
When I get sad, I feel like my Beauty just went up +70.
I stress easily, and I hide my stress even more easily.
I collect buttons and pins on lanyards. :] From places I visit or that display things I like.
I’m currently wearing my pj Pizza shorts. ^-^;
I don’t stay with a friend group for very long, because I’m very withdrawn and well, got some trust issues. <:/
My favorite aroma is that of cinnamon and vanilla.
I am deathly afraid of cockroaches. <n<;
The cool colors on the color wheel are my favorites.
I don’t care for coffee with or without cream and sugar.
Sometimes I break out into a spontaneous dance at home, when I hear a song I know. >u>;
I’ve been told that I am an old soul.
I like humor because it helps me not feel so empty and hurt and afraid. <:}
I am lactose intolerant, and have remained sober so far from a single bowl of cereal with milk. <.<
I exhibit an absurd amount of patience at times.
I used to watch old pbs kids shows from the early 2000s. :}
My favorite movie as a 4 year old was Jurassic Park...and also Fantasia.
I used to love to swim, and as a middle class family with a small home and backyard pool, I learned to swim by age 5 or 6. :] And at 12 I was like a fish.
I’ve never had a dog or a cat as a pet before. <:/
I never learned a musical instrument or another language fully besides english.
In elementary school, I was an artsy and stubborn tomboy. <x}
My favorite time of day is either sunrise or sunset.
I feel I’m more agnostic than catholic now.
I love the feeling of warmth in the winter.
I won’t ride most roller coasters, but I’m somehow okay with Knott’s Silver Bullet. =~o;??
I can quote at least one line from nearly every classic Twilight Zone episode.
I know how to act sexy, and it always shocks people to witness it from me. <x}
I’m not a bad singer, I’m just not a good one. X}
I'm kind of a daddy's girl. <u<; But in a good way. :} Because my fish dad love and supports me despite him and I having differing opinions. ^-^ AND he taught me about emergency preparation and gun safety! He also play tha guitar and sings. :3 Truly a majestic merman.
I don’t watch a ton of anime, but I dabble in some. :]
I like the feeling of being moved with music, epic or nostalgic or both.
I’m thinking about starting a youtube channel for gaming/twilight zone discussion/vlogs/and maybe comedy sketches? :/
I have a thing for odd/bi-racial/bi-species couples. <x3
Underwater/Outer space tranquility is a major relaxing aesthetic!
My body is pretty weak and fragile, but trying to work on it..
I’ve been to/through I think 15/50 of the united states. O-o
I have a fear of heights.
I still don’t know what I want to do with my life.
And,
There is still so much I haven’t done yet.

Thank you for listening and reading everybody. <:] Sorry for all the spoilers there ya had to click through. ^~^;

[mdom]

Thank you for trusting us and staying here. Our community wouldn't be the same without you <3

[Kory]

I want to thank you for even being here, Merskelly!

I always look forward to reading your posts here :D
I feel like I can relate to you often.

edit;
There's a sad face in my title in this post???
I didn't put that there!

[Glitch]

I luffles you!!! Thank you for being here :>

[Merskelly Metalien]

Originally Posted by mdom

Thank you for trusting us and staying here. Our community wouldn't be the same without you <3

Thanks so much! <:} Gosh, it seems, I've been accepted as one of their own. <3
xD Phase Two can begin!

Originally Posted by Ava

I want to thank you for even being here, Merskelly!

I always look forward to reading your posts here :D
I feel like I can relate to you often.

edit;
There's a sad face in my title in this post???
I didn't put that there!

<:} Awh! That's sweet of ya.
Well, <u< you're welcome I suppose.

huhhhhI think that's just the sad lookin' face of compassion and confusion? <8/ *shrug*

Originally Posted by Glitch

I luffles you!!! Thank you for being here :>

^-^ Aww. Bubble luffles to you too Glitch! :] Thank you for havin' me on the show-, err I mean, site. x}

[bluebird]

aww shucks, skelly, thank you for being part of the community! your presence is a gift in itself. the old school emojis your posts are nostalgic and a joy to see around the site. i feel young again looking at them haha

[Merskelly Metalien]

Originally Posted by bluebird

aww shucks, skelly, thank you for being part of the community! your presence is a gift in itself. the old school emojis your posts are nostalgic and a joy to see around the site. i feel young again looking at them haha

<x} Thank you sweet-o bluebird-o! I didn't think they had that much of an effect. o.o huh. Well, maybe because I've been using them all the flippin' time in everything since like 2008. <xD

[Major]

It was so sweet to see you pour your heart out to us here on Trisphee! I feel like I have a good bit in common with you. I LOOOOOOVE old school Twilight Zone, too, by the way!

I, too, understand what it's like being quiet and withdrawn IRL. However, if I'm around the right people, I have trouble controlling the volume of my vOICE!

Thank you for your kind words, Merskelly. :)

[Death by Mirrors]

Wanted to answer this in a similarly long winded post with several spoilers, but then I noticed I don't have much to say besides I'm glad you're here on Tris, and always enjoy reading your comments. So thanks for sticking around!

[Merskelly Metalien]

Originally Posted by Major

It was so sweet to see you pour your heart out to us here on Trisphee! I feel like I have a good bit in common with you. I LOOOOOOVE old school Twilight Zone, too, by the way!

I, too, understand what it's like being quiet and withdrawn IRL. However, if I'm around the right people, I have trouble controlling the volume of my vOICE!

Thank you for your kind words, Merskelly. :)

My heart is a soggy towel which smells of fresh lotion and a hint of burnt oil. x} So, I'm glad it was able to communicate my feelings fairly successfully, hehe!
:} I can relate for sure. ^-^ Even the most talkative of my classmates in my acting classes struggled with projecting their voices. O-o Wonder if it's a quiet person thing. Like, inside each of us, is a deafening cruise ship foghorn. xD

Originally Posted by Death by Mirrors

Wanted to answer this in a similarly long winded post with several spoilers, but then I noticed I don't have much to say besides I'm glad you're here on Tris, and always enjoy reading your comments. So thanks for sticking around!

x} Awh. Well, thank YOU for enjoying my nonsense Death. :}
And for going along with it sometimes. x'D
I enjoy your nonsense too!

[Stabbsworth]

marina is a nice name.

also i found this site through galla. it's nice to get to know other people.

[Merskelly Metalien]

Originally Posted by Voidbarker

marina is a nice name.

also i found this site through galla. it's nice to get to know other people.

^-^ Thank you. I always thought it sounded like a mermaid goddess name. But I had a period of childhood where I didn't like my name and wanted one that got me less attention. :] But the plus side was that it was tough for people to make my name into an easy nickname. x}
Like Melany or Amelia. >u>
I first confirmed my Trisphee account through Galla. :D And my mule acct. Galla is nice.

[daikokunyo]

i'm happy you found Tris! it really is such a safe, comforting, supportive nook of the internet and you make it more so.

[Merskelly Metalien]

Originally Posted by daikokunyo

i'm happy you found Tris! it really is such a safe, comforting, supportive nook of the internet and you make it more so.

Thanks. <:} I'm really glad I'm a part of it..not posting much lately tho. I've just been kinda empty-feeling so, <:] *shrug* I'm trying to help myself more than I typically do. <:/ Which is not at all.
I'm glad I can vent n' stuff and spend time here though. ^-^