[Pessimisticat]

Monday, at 6pm, we had to let our 8 week old baby boy go.

Legs, a brown tabby born from a feral momma, in a litter of four, started life off already given the short straw. He was born with Swimmer's Syndrome. His back legs were under-developed, and he couldn't use them.
My SO and I took it upon ourselves to find out as much as we could and talk to whoever we could regarding his condition.
Without you guys, we wouldn't have been able to do this.
Within the first week of physiotherapy we saw progress. We were feeling him kick back, everyday stronger than the one before. After we moved, he was able to kick his legs around and twitch them, which is something we hadn't been seeing before. He was getting there.

Then, life handed him another short straw -- this one fatal. I believe our move put too much stress on him, lowered his already weak immune system, and allowed the FIP virus inside of him to takeover. Within a day of our move, his insides began filling with fluid. He had the wet version of FIP.
We took him to the vet, on Monday, naive and hearts hopeful that it was just a bout of bad constipation due to his condition and constantly having his abdomen on the ground. When they told us his abdomen felt abnormal, and wanted an x-ray, we began to worry. We had to come back in a few hours so they could x-ray him. The moment we walked out of the vets office we broke down. We knew it was bad news, we knew it was probably the end of the line.
What we didn't know was that when he was being taken away for an x-ray that it was going to be the last time we saw him.

We came back, waited thirty minutes, the vets office had closed. They called us in the back room, and showed us syringes filled with fluid they took from his abdomen. He had FIP, there was nothing we could do. Since it is contagious, it wouldn't be a good idea if we took him home. So we made the toughest call of our lives. We let him go.
Due to being put under anesthesia for the x-ray, they wouldn't let us see him. We didn't get to say goodbye. We didn't get to hold him, let him know we loved him as the light faded from his eyes. His last moments were of fear and pain, in a cold room alone. He didn't know why he was there, what these people were doing, why we had let him be taken away. He died alone. I will forever regret and hate myself for this.
We almost weren't even able to get his ashes back. We spent over 3 grand on this move, and had to clear out our savings accounts just to pay for this vet visit. We spent $500 just to kill our baby. I set up a YouCaring, and within two hours we had raised over $200. I woke up this morning, and it was $320. Because of these amazing people who donated, we are able to afford receiving his ashes vs a communal cremation, and get the little paw print as a memorial. We can now put his ashes into glass, and forever have something of our lost love. We can now spread his ashes, at a beautiful area in Titusville, letting our baby walk among our beautiful earth where he couldn't before. We can now say goodbye.

RIP my little bean.
I loved you with every fiber of my being, and I will never forget you.
Our journey together was short -- but I don't regret a single thing. I would do it all over again.
Rest easy.

[Boris]

I admit... I didn't really keep up with the other thread, but reading your post made me cry. I'm sorry he had to be put down. I wish there was something I can do to make it all better. I feel bad for the little guy too.

[Pessimisticat]

Originally Posted by Boris

I admit... I didn't really keep up with the other thread, but reading your post made me cry. I'm sorry he had to be put down. I wish there was something I can do to make it all better. I feel bad for the little guy too.

It's okay, I didn't really update the other thread. We had a big move, so I didn't really have time.
It all happened really quick, too. Within 3 days he had filled with fluid, and the day of the vet visit, within 3 hours we had to make the choice. :/
I feel terrible for how it went down for him. We had no idea. I wish we could've said our proper goodbyes..I wish we could've been there his last time conscious. It will forever haunt me, and I will forever hate myself because of it.

Thank you for reading this and commenting <3

[Boris]

Originally Posted by Pessimisticat

It's okay, I didn't really update the other thread. We had a big move, so I didn't really have time.
It all happened really quick, too. Within 3 days he had filled with fluid, and the day of the vet visit, within 3 hours we had to make the choice. :/
I feel terrible for how it went down for him. We had no idea. I wish we could've said our proper goodbyes..I wish we could've been there his last time conscious. It will forever haunt me, and I will forever hate myself because of it.

Thank you for reading this and commenting <3

I can understand why you feel that way, and I don't blame you. Maybe thinking about it logically can help you feel less terrible. I know it helped me at times to think logically.

[XoGizmooX]

Oh no :( poor kitty

[Pessimisticat]

Originally Posted by Boris

I can understand why you feel that way, and I don't blame you. Maybe thinking about it logically can help you feel less terrible. I know it helped me at times to think logically.

Yeah..there really wasn't anything we could've done...it was fatal, and there's no cure or treatment..he maybe had a day or two to live before it started messing with his brain and caused seizures and a terrible death.

Originally Posted by XoGizmooX

Oh no :( poor kitty

Yeah :/

[Boris]

Originally Posted by Pessimisticat

Yeah..there really wasn't anything we could've done...it was fatal, and there's no cure or treatment..he maybe had a day or two to live before it started messing with his brain and caused seizures and a terrible death.

See? Putting him down was the better option than letting him suffer, so you don't have to hate yourself, but you can still feel sad, though... I know I'd be sat if my dog was put down.

[Pessimisticat]

Originally Posted by Boris

See? Putting him down was the better option than letting him suffer, so you don't have to hate yourself, but you can still feel sad, though... I know I'd be sat if my dog was put down.

I am more sad how it all happened...how we didn't get to say goodbye. How I didn't give him one last hug or pet :/

[Kaderin Triste]

Aww...I never really posted or checked in at the original thread, but I was really rooting for the little guy.
I'm so sorry that things turned out the way they did. :c