[Ireland]

So, my boyfriend of 2.5 years has a 14 year old daughter. I have never met her, though she lives 30 minutes away and he spends every Sunday afternoon with her. Why? She refuses to meet me.

Quick history:
4 years ago, my bf decided he wasn't in love with his then wife and broke up with her. His daughter was about to finish the fourth grade and she begged him to stay with her and her mother until she was done with grade school (which in this state ends after 5th grade). So, he promises and moves himself to the basement of their house and lives there with his ex-wife and daughter until she was done with 5th grade.

At that point he moves out and because his ex has her own issues and doesn't work, moved in with her parents who live in a small-ish mountain town not too far from us.

Now, he is dealing with a very angry 14 year old. She refuses to meet me and her reasoning is "I don't know" when asked why she doesn't want to.

They are having their Celebration today, which means I had to leave my own apartment and find something to do with myself so that his ex and kid could come over and exchange gifts.

I love my boyfriend a lot, if you couldn't tell. But it's very painful to be excluded from things and not even be able to hang out at my own house while he spends time with her.

So, I am stuck at a coffee shop until he texts me and lets me know I can come home. :/

I don't know if this is a rant or not, I just feel kinda sad right now.

[Lawtan]

:(

*Hugs Ireland and offers cocoa*

I've heard of scenarios like that - spent much of my youth as a go-between with my parents to mostly avoid that sort of thing.
I don't know what you can do about that - if you wanted to get to know the daughter, maybe invite her to someplace she wants to go someday (or something similar).

(Or if you want, free to chat about random stuff)

[Glitch]

You could still get her gifts and things, maybe she would open up. You could also try letters?
I was almost in that situation. A guy I was dating had a 10 year old daughter and when I met him he was living with his ex so he could be near his daughter and baby sit and things. Well the ex kicked him out so I let him come live with me and I had a spare room so we dressed it up for her if she came over. My place was right next to her school so we gave her a key so she could walk over after school if she wanted too. Trying to make her feel like just because dad wasn't at her house anymore, she wasn't out of his life.

I have decided not to tell you the rest of the rest of the story because mine was a special circumstance that went really bad and I don't want to freak you out. But the daughter loved it, she loved having her own key and a space that was hers at our apartment.

[Fulkth]

I know how you feel about feeling not welcome in your own house.

Sometimes my roommate forgets to remind me about his football games on Sunday. I tell him I need a 24 hour in advance reminder. He sometimes forgets to remind me. Or he tells my husband to remind me. And he forgets.

3pm rolls around and I start getting hungry. So I proceed to to go into the kitchen to make myself something to eat. But then the roommate confronts me about how the kitchen/living room is off limits to me for 3 hours. So I am pretty much confined to my bedroom.

Let me tell you, I get cranky when I am hungry. And I get doubly cranky when I get told that I can't make myself something to eat.

I think you should press your boyfriend to press his daughter as to why she doesn't want to give you a chance to get to know you. She needs to give a better reason other than I don't know.

He needs to tell her that she is hurting him because she is hurting you by not wanting to meet/see you.