[Glitch]

My bf of a year dumped me on Sunday because he has been flirting with this girl from work for the past two months. I packed all of his things and told him not to come home and the next day he was begging for me back.

Told me he was just confused, afraid of committment, he felt like we were already married because we live together. So he's moving out - and i told him he has to get a new job away from that girl - and i made him delete his online profiles and blocked her on his facebook.

This morning I was bad and snooped through his phone and read his convos to her. Which pissed me off. Then i saw my friend who was staying with me after he dumped me- texted him to give him a heads up that I knew and was going to confront him about it.

So now I feel tricked. Like he didn't come clean all on his own. Somebody told him to come clean. I deleted all of his texts in his phone, his call history, and her number. I want to tell him he has to quit his job today that he no longer has a couple of months to do it.

I'm so upset. My father told me never to call him again after I accepted my bf back - he was so mad at me. And now I'm not sure I made the right decision, now I think I'm just a fool.

[Fey]

Okay, two parts to this, the love, and the tough love.

Love first!

You're not a fool for giving someone a second chance. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone deserves a second chance. Not, maybe, a third, forth or fifth one, but at least a second one. Even if your dad didn't like him it's not fair to say that by picking him you shouldn't contact your own dad again. Remind your dad that the first guy you have ever, and will ever, love is him, and you need him to be there for you.

Now for the tough love.

You're sorta waaaaaaaaay outta line. Yes, you two are in a relationship and he SHOULD be honest with you. Just as you should be honest with him. Right now you're not, so why should he? And yes, you are being dishonest in how you're treating him. I'm not saying you don't have every right to be angry, or to not take him back, but if you do take him back you have no right to control his life like that. If you don't trust him then don't take him back, don't set major conditions for it. He'll only resent you, and try to sneak around. Besides, why would you want someone back that obviously doesn't want to be there no matter what he seems to have said?

But, even with that to tell him to quit his job, that's majorly extreme. Specially in this economy where he may not find another one. You could ask him to limit his interaction with her, you could even ask him to not talk to her outside of work. But you can't force him, and as you can see, by making it that big of a deal he's now doing it 'behind your back'.

[littl3chocobo]

i am with espy, what you are doing is very harmful, not only to the relationship but to him

[Glitch]

I told him he didn't have to quit until he finds another job.

And I think I am being this way because I feel so lied to. He called her the second I left the house- I didn't even know about her, and I wouldn't have known about her, and he wouldn't have told me about her - but my roommate overheard the conversation and how he headed off to her house about an hour later. When I came home the next morning he was sleeping in my bed and told me he wasn't going to ever take me back because he needed to "grow a pair." He told me he could never see himself marrying me - and that he's not attracted to me or my personality. He said I should have known by the fact he wasn't putting emotion into it when he told me he loved me.

And from my snooping (which i hate myself for but I couldn't help it v.v) he was flirting with that girl all that day. Then that night when my parents told him he couldn't come home- and his friend bailed on picking him up - he suddenly begged for me back. Like literally - two hours of being homeless he started telling me he made a mistake.

That's why I feel like I can't trust him or his motives. I only set conditions because I don't want to get hurt again - I don't trust him -I don't trust his motives for being with me. I don't believe that he cares about me at all after the things he said.

I want to give him this second chance but I just can't let go of anything, at least not yet. I want to - I really do - and maybe if he was going out ofh is way to make me feel like he really wanted things to work out they might but I haven't seen that yet. I just hate it :(

[Saiyouri]

тнє ℓσνє σƒ мαgι¢ ιѕ вєуση∂ ƒσяgσттєη
»·,´·˙(´·˙¸ ¸˙·,)˙·,´•·˙·,¯´·˙·• •·˙·,¯´·˙·•╭☆╯•·.·´¯`·.·• •·.·´¯`·.·•´`·.(`·.¸ ¸.·´).·´`·»



☪ஐﻬ☽ I'm sorry to say this but giving him a second
chance after what he said is not a good idea.
He most likely is only wanting you back because
he needed some place to stay. No one should ever
tell another person those things to someone they
live with. I am sorry you have to deal with this.
It is up to you what to do, but personally I
would never give someone a second chance after him
saying those kinds of things to me. I wish you the
best of luck dealing with this. *huggles*



»·,´·˙(´·˙¸ ¸˙·,)˙·,´•·˙·,¯´·˙·• •·˙·,¯´·˙·•╭☆╯•·.·´¯`·.·• •·.·´¯`·.·•´`·.(`·.¸ ¸.·´).·´`·»
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