[Demonskid]

Some people do really well with Welfare.
Some people don't.

Mom and I have been having problems with them lately.

First: We get our foodstamps from them. That has me working for my foodstamps. I don't mind it's just when you call them they never return your call.

My work paper says I have this case worker here. I called her once. Got her answering machine. Left a Message. I called her again a week later because she never called me back only, the answering machine said something completely different then last time. It's no longer her answering machine.

I have a doctor's note, asking them to lessen my hours so I can help mom cause she needed me home a lot. Well now that the new shots in her back are helping the note is worthless.

Second and the part that pisses me off the most:

Adult Protective Services showed up at our door Thursday. Someone called them saying they were worried about my mom. That day I was on the toilet all day with diarrhea and terrible stomach pains. I was in the bathroom when she came in.

She asked mom about my mustard being NOT IN THE FRIDGE. I hate my mustard cold. I'm sorry but it doesn't go bad as fast as people seem to believe it does. And I eat it fast enough before it does.

Mom goes "Jessie had it out, she had a sandwich before she rushed to the bathroom."

this lady goes "And she couldn't put it away when she was finished?"

.. Mom just told her I RUSH TO THE BATHROOM. she doesn't listen.

She started asking about the cat puke marks on the floor.

Mom said it was from the hairballs the cats hack up while we're sleeping.

Her response was "If you clean it up right away it won't stain"

What part of WHILE WE ARE SLEEPING didn't she understand?

Mom tried to explain but the lady kept butting in. Then she started asking who does the cooking, can mom get dressed on her own, and can mom bathe on her own. Mom answered "Jessie and I both cook, depends on who wants what. I can dress and take a bath fine thank you." The lady starts up, "Why isn't Jessie helping you clean?" Mom goes "She does! We both clean at our own pace, but when she's sick she doesn't do much. She gets sick easily. Always has. And she also works for her foodstamps."

"How many Hours does she work?" Mom responded with the answer of 37 hours.

I came out of the bathroom at this point. My leg had fallen asleep and I had trouble walking. My stomach was KILLING me. I know I was pale and slightly green cause I saw myself in the bathroom mirror while leaving.

This lady turns to me and just starts BITCHING!

"Asthma isn't an excuse not to clean, and 37 hours a month isn't a lot of hours so you have PLENTY of time to clean. This place shouldn't be so cluttered"

I look around. There really isn't any fking clutter here. She goes into my room and see's my clothes all over my table in there. She goes in moms room. She sees moms room and bitches about that and I go: "Look, you can go a head and clean that room. I don't like having my head bit off that is HER territory and she doesn't like it when I clean in there. And the reason she HASN'T cleaned in there is because her back has been in too much pain. BUT the new shots are working so she'll be able to work on it again."

The bitch ignored me.

She started saying "The reason your cats are throwing up is because of the clutter. They are eating stuff they aren't supposed to and that's why they throw up. And you have to clean it up right away, so of course you got stains"

She totally ignored us when we said that 1. it was hair balls and 2. that the stains came from the ones they bring up at night WHILE WE ARE SLEEPING!

She started on about how hairballs don't have that color to them. Uh.. BITCH ... They do when the cats still have FOOD in their stomach. That food has color in them, and that comes up with the hair ball..

She kept interrupting me and ignoring what I was saying.


Kept on about how my asthma isn't bad enough, and how I'm a young able body. Mom started getting scared saying that "you're gonna put my daughter out on the streets if she doesn't do more then what she does" and the lady said "you're putting words in my mouth, thats not what I said"


After she left mom was so upset and scared. She called her Counselor and he called the lady.

He got back to mom today. He said that the lady told him: "If the tables aren't cleaned off, and everything isnt put in it's 'Proper' place when she comes back in a few weeks, she's going to have my mom placed in an old folks home because she can't take care of herself and I'm not taking care of her."

BULL FUCKING SHIT!

After I get off work, it doesn't matter if I work 2 hours or 7! I got STRAIGHT TO BED! I DON'T DO WELL AROUND PEOPLE. I GET SO STRESSED AT WORK BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE BEING AROUND THEM!!!!!!!!! So 2 or 7 hours a day doesn't matter because I am still OUT the rest of that day.

I have to TAKE things slowly! If I don't I get over heated, I have an asthma attack and the over heating makes me FUCKING SICK TO MY STOMACH! It also causes stress and that makes me even sicker.

Not to mention I get pretty sick when the seasons change, or the weather can't decide to be freezing or be warm like it has been the past week. So I am down and OUT during the Spring and Fall seasons. Summer I clean a lot more because I'm not as sick. And Winter we don't clean as much cause it's FKing Cold.


OH! Clutter. Having too much stuff. I am HAPPY I have so many clothes now. Before I started working at the mission I HAD HARDLY ANY! I had like 5 pants and 10 shirts.

Now I have so many I don't have enough hangers to put them on. WELL EXCUSE THE FUCK OUTTA ME! SORRY FOR NOT HAVING HANGERS.

Not to mention when it comes to appliances and other things. Just because you do things at your house one way, doesn't mean we have to do it the same way. Our blender BELONGS on the Counter, NOT IN IT! We USE IT DAILY!

I take out the trash, I vacuum when I HATE VACUUMING. Seriously the noise gives me a terrible headache. I rearrange the furniture and I clean. I do it SLOWLY and at MY PACE but it gets done! Don't tell people I don't do anything. FUCK YOU WELFARE!

[SolarCat]

I don't have any words, just... Wow, I'm so sorry.
((((HUGS))))((((HUGS))))((((HUGS))))((((HUGS))))

Sometimes people have jobs in fields like that because they like to help people, but other times it's because they enjoy the power trip of the ability to potentially control and ruin people's lives. Sadly, it sounds like you ended up with one of those. :(

((((HUGS))))((((HUGS))))((((HUGS))))((((HUGS))))

[Lawtan]

What's this lovely (sarcasm) welfare agent's name? Perhaps she has violated a law here, and can be reported to higher authorities (and thus get off your back), or perhaps she has no right to claim the powers she is claiming to have.

As to any ideas to make things better - perhaps alternate some of the schedule with your mom (example; so that you can at least say that you are trying to clean up the hairballs as per their unreasonable requests)? They could be right about something causing the cat some stomach trouble, but that should require the assessment of a professional in animal health/care.

Perhaps, under the circumstances, your mother could work with (or not interfere with) you to undo the clutter in her room...considering the alternative is the nursing home, according to the Adult Services Worker. (Again, I am somewhat doubtful she can do so without a second or third opinion from professionals)

I am curious about how this is winding up on your head - I don't think you're legally your mother's caretaker.

I am sorry :(

[Demonskid]

I live with here there for I am 'legally' her caretaker or so she said.


Mom's room only got like that because of her back problems. And she refuses to let anyone touch stuff in there since it tends to get thrown out and some of it is still important documents. Now that her back is better she's been working on it. Not like they care.

Thanks for the support guys.

Next time she comes and says stuff about my asthma... I'm gonna ask to see her doctors license. =/ And then I'm going to tell her how many asthma attacks I had and this was WITH the help of our neighbors.

The cats don't throw up that often for it to be a cause of concern. It's just when they do, we are either awake or we aren't. And when we aren't it stains the carpet. And then we have to wait to get the cleaning supplies needed to wash the carpet with our shampooer thing.

They don't realize that cleaning carpets costs money. We'd use dish soap if we had it. We been borrowing from the neighbors just to wash our dishes. =/ Windows and stuff we just use Vinegar water. Vinegar is cheap it comes in a BIG jug and it lasts. And I can use it on my fries too.. o3o


Sorry I just .. really needed to complain. I needed to rant. I started crying today, and I don't cry that often, because I don't have enough hangers for my clothes and because of my clothes being piled up on my table they complained about my room being cluttered too and so a reason why I'm not 'caring for my mother' properly.

[SolarCat]

For the carpets, I recommend Folex if you can find it.
It's in a plain white bottle with purple letters, and can get red wine out of white carpet like it was never there. It works better on older stains than newer ones, too, which is unique. I paid less than $8 for the little squirt bottle, and it served me well for six years (and I still have a little left, but now I have all hardwood).

As for the rest of it, I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I hope they send someone else to have a look next time instead of Missy-Know-It-All.

[Witchchylde]

This is why I'm grateful to have what little autonomy I do have, even if it's a case of emotional hostage taking having to live with my mom. As my repeated attempts to apply for SSI continue to fail, as my daughter's social anxieties continue to build rather than decrease, and we become utterly dependent on my mother's income, the few times we've actually gotten foodstamps, or as they're called here SNAP benefits, the process is so disheartening, so dehumanizing, that I lose my nerve to recertify when the time comes. (Oh look at that, spellcheck doesn't recognize 'recertify' as an actual word, take that DHS.) I have my back, plus partial blindness, diabetes, bipolar depression, and still the judge says I should be able to work, I guess because I'm under fifty. And any time I front the idea of applying for work myself, my mother goes off on me about how I can't possibly stand on my feet all day, yadda yadda. And yes, we have piles of clothes in our room. I have to share a room with my adult daughter because that's how little room we have in this house. As a matter of fact, all three of us would have our own rooms if my brother and his son hadn't decided that they had to move out here with us. Now each of them has their own private room, my daughter and I share a room, and my mother, who's 72, sleeps on a couch in the living room with her dogs. And, those two are really not dependable at all. My brother only takes substitute teaching jobs a few times a month, his check for this entire month was only $55. His son, just last week, quit his job. With his father's blessing and encouragement.
And let's not get into the screamfests that get started from my mother's obsession with Fox News. Just, don't go there.

[Lucid:]

**hughug** That sounds so ridiculous. She has no right to try and run your life like that, I'm sure of it. Heck, I am perfectly capable of putting my laundry away and I choose to leave it laying on the bedroom couch for a week anyway. There's nothing wrong with leaving clutter around the house as long as it's not interfering with your life, which it clearly isn't for you. I'm sorry that you have to go through all that.

[Chi]

I would do like Lawtan said see if you can report her or something.
Unless they have all the facts like your medical history, I don't believe she's allowed to make a judgement like that.
You can't claim someone is capable of anything from how they look, you have no idea what could be going on underneath.
A friend of mine has a handicap license plate because of her weakened immune system, but on the outside she looks "healthy" so people always shoot her dirty looks. :/
I would ask for a different worker from the agency and file a compliant.

[Lawtan]

On asking someone who knows more than myself, it is possible for them to take you to court to try to get your mother declared incapable of making her own decisions, but any movement towards improvement should make that unsuccessful.

Also, according to them, a small amount of Vaseline (Petroleum Jelly) applied to your cat's tip of the nose should reduce their overall hairball amount.