[Quiet Man Cometh]

Tsaerri's frame not providing much of a cover, Syrgei raised his hand to his face on the pretense of wiping something away from his eye to hide his snickering as the situation got more and more absurd.

[Suzerain of Sheol]

WHAT ARE THEY DOING?! SIX THOUSAND GOLD! I WILL MURDER YOU BOTH SO HELP ME UGHHHHHH

Taking hold of Eduardo's sleeve and putting on her most endearing smile, Tsae attempts to direct his attention away from her guild-mates. "Please excuse them, the machine has been nothing but trouble since it got here."

Tugging him along, she made their way back out the entrance to the guild hall. "So, is there anywhere is particular you'd like to visit first? I'm sure I could suggest something, if not."

Ow. Ow. Shut up, keep smiling.

[Salone]

Eduardo nodded in affirmation, allowing himself to be guided by her.

"Perhaps hwe should start with something close by. I have heard of centaurs outside of the city that terrorize the local farmers. I hwish to observe them and see how the more primitive denizens get on with life. Perhaps through understanding the simpler savage folk of the realm, we may come to know more and find ways to end their hostilities."

He frowned at the what appeared to be an attention seeking golem, put off by its seemingly wanton disregard to instructions. He lowered his voice, whispering to Tsae.

"Are golems allowed to act on their own accord? If this one is malfunctioning, I would be more than hwilling to replace it with a newer model. I have the money. There is no sense in keeping something that is liable to level the place. Not good for business, I can assure you."

[Suzerain of Sheol]

Giggling like an idiot, she assures him, "I'm sure it's all talk. Personal golems like that don't have self-destructs built in." Because I know so much about golems. Mmhmm. "But if it's Queensdale you'd like to see, we can take you right away. It's just outside the city gates, after all. Er, the physical ones, that is."

All this ceremony, and it comes down to killing centaurs in the end....

[Quiet Man Cometh]

As the group begins their first excursion, Syrgei steps up beside Tsaerri.

"How do we plan on taking this man to see any centaurs? I've yet to meet one that didn't want to enslave or kill anything on two legs."

[Suzerain of Sheol]

Hmm... wha? Oh, it's him.

Tsaerri shrugs. "Presumably, he's going to watch us murder them. Don't insult our client, Syrgei. Only an idiot would think this is some friendly nature hike."

[Salone]

"Aha! Splended!"

Eduardo clapped his hands together, looking positively excited.

"I cannot hwait for our little nature expedition to commence. Oh, how lovely it will be to actually interview a real centaur and attempt to understand their thought processes and hway of life!"

* * *

One beautiful scene transition to the outside areas of Divinity's Reach, with the stretches of Queensdale before them

* * *

Eduardo stopped to take in the beautiful rolling expanse before him, grinning as he breathed in deeply the more rustic air of the open farmlands, where he was assured that honest folk did honest work and plied the fields to bring in crops. He was aware of the fact that food came from somewhere else, but to perhaps be able to see the actual location was a marvelous sideshow attraction to him. With excitement he beamed at the motley crew assembled before him, grinning at each one.

"Right! Let us be on our way! Let us begin!"

[Gallagher]

It was always nice, being out in the open air again instead of being stuck in the city. Not that anyone was any friendlier one way or the other. Even among his guildmates, the only one that was all that affected was the Sylvari. At least, Gamby assumed he was, with all the grinning and dramatic pausing to see the admittedly lovely day.

"ERROR. We—are—already—on—our—way."

Gambooge elbowed the large arm of the golem. "Keep your mouth shut, you."

"ERROR. I—do—not—have—a—mouth."

"Yeah," he replied, absently rubbing his elbow, "keep that up. I'll let you get replaced."

[Salone]

"Wait! Wait!"

There was heaving and rumbling as a heavy body of fur and claws ran on all fours to catch up with the group. Panting as it came to a stop, the creature became bipedal as it stood up, snapping a clawed salute to its head.

"Dan Magnum reporting for adventuring duty!"

He let the salute fall, remembering he was no longer on active duty.

"Apologies for tardiness. Skaeye had me on grocery detail. I was shopping for potatoes and other legumes, and...the sweet potatoes, they were low in stock, and I went to reach for one, and..."

He shuddered, remembering in graphic detail what had happened.

"There was this woman. She reached for the last potato just as I did. I accidentally grazed her hand, but my claw cut through her skin. I, I think I nicked something. She sprayed streams of blood all over the stall, fountained all over my groceries. She coated that last sweet potato in her life's fluid. I tried to calm her, to assure her that everything would be okay, but she just kept bleeding. And screaming. Oh human gods, the screaming. The guards were surrounding us now. They had seen the accident, but it didn't matter. She was wounded and surrounded and animal instincts took over. She attempted to flee, but the guards pinned her down for her safety. That wild eye look of hurt prey witnessing its last moments, that was, that...was..."

He trailed off, rocking back and forth slowly as the events replayed through his head. After a moment he came to his senses, offering what appeared to be a damp knapsack.

"Grocery detail, all groceries freshly washed! No, er, blood!"

[Suzerain of Sheol]

Nope, it's decided. I am not even going to be surprised at this point. Do your worst, world. I am so handling this. Yep.

"You could have, like... dropped them off back at base?" It's way too much effort to even raise an eyebrow at the gross satchel. "I don't know. Throw them in the golem, I guess. If it'll let you."

Turning her attention back to Eduardo, she did her best to keep him engaged with... the Shaemoor farmholds. Surely the most exotic part of Queensdale to take a foreigner through. Just look, there was old Jeb, and Diah... why was Diah rushing toward them?

"You have to help, please! It's the bandits again! They're attacking the farm!

Before she could catch herself, Tsaerri blurted out, "What? Why? What the hell do you have that anyone would want to steal? Don't tell me it's those depressed cows of yours..."

"Aren't you from one of the Guilds? Please, you have to help us, they'll take everything!"

Murmuring, "Okay, then...." she looked up to Eduardo. "Your call, boss. What's the plan?"

[Salone]

"Bandits? I think this is an exciting opportunity to observe the more impoverished people, and try to understand what disadvantages have led them to do what it is they do. And they-"

He clapped a hand to his mouth, attempting to suppress a giggle.

"Is, is the one with the big nose there? I've heard stories! There's the big nose one, and...er, others! We should leave at once! Oh, and to protect the farms too. Yes, that will be quite the occasion to witness. Off to the farms, please!"

[Gallagher]

While Gambooge frowned at the... odd Charr, the golem beside him popped open the hatch on its front. It reached inside and removed Gamby's forgotten breakfast, holding it away from itself before tipping the plate and dumping everything on the ground.

"Hey!" he shouted as he reached for the dish, which the golem promptly held above its head.

"Please—store—items—now."

As irritating as the golem was, Gambooge's attention was easily pulled away by the mention of bandits. Still reaching for the plate, he looked to the mesmer and the Sylvari. "Wait, a raid?"

[Suzerain of Sheol]

"Uhh, apparently. Welcome to the job? You'd think the Seraph would be able to deal with the local bandits..."

I didn't really feel like killing anyone today, but if it actually is Ted....

[Quiet Man Cometh]

It had better not be. Syrgei thinks upon hearing Ed's exclamation about the "big-nosed" bandit.

"Of course," he says to Diah, then takes off at a run towards the farm, thin lines of smoke starting to appear from inside the paddock.

[Suzerain of Sheol]

"Okay... stay close to me, I guess." This is how you bodyguard, right? By leading the client right into danger?

Further down the hill, Tsae can see nefarious figures swarming over the wheat-fields, stamping down the crops and dragging off the cows, hooting and jeering all the while.

What is even the point? She carefully perches herself on the ledge above the lowest tier, crossing her arms and watching the chaos for a moment. It takes them way too long to notice her.

"Hey, you got a problem, little girl? Liable to get yourself dead real quick if you and your friend don't clear out!" Bolstered by their numbers -- three at this end -- they make various threatening gestures in Tsaerri's direction.

She calls down to them in a resigned voice. "Look, you really don't have to die here. It's seriously not worth it. Just go back... wherever it is you came from... and we'll pretend we never saw you, okay?"

They begin laughing and advancing on her. Like idiots.

"Seriously? A five-foot girl in a blindfold threatens your life and think it's a joke? I mean, either I'm totally insane or you're all about to die horribly. Are you really confident in those odds?"

They look confused for a moment, but manage to shore up their resolve with a few pats on the back and some unimaginative innuendos thrown her direction.

Tsaerri turns to Ed briefly and shrugs. "I tried. Make sure that goes in your report to Skaeye." And with a devilish smile, "Enjoy the show."

[Salone]

Eduardo nodded, raising his voice to call out to the bandits.

"Excuse me! Lower class people. Before she murders you, could you tell me in a brief way what led you to this socio-economic status and why you prey upon the lower farm folk instead of participating lawfully in society and the economy?"