[Kaguya]

Granted, but now anyone with maternal instincts will avoid you as if your a plague.

I wish the lag would stop.

[Katame Shiraga]

Granted, but now Tris is heavily infected with trolls. About 93% of Tris are trolls.

=.= I wish I was actually able to publish some of the ideas I have in my head and gain a shitton of money from them. I'd never sell the copyrights to them, though.

[whitexsuicide]

Granted, but now you are killed by a mob of fan girls, all about the age of 14.

I wish for my laptop to be better

[Kaguya]

Granted but it doesn't do as you want it to.

I wish my soon to be sister in law would stop acting like a spoilt four year old.

[whitexsuicide]

granted but now she acts like a cranky old women.

I wish for a fish~~

[Merlin]

Granted. You're sent underwater with the sharks. . . you have a leg wound, and you're bleeding profusely.

I wish I had a jar of honey.

[whitexsuicide]

granted but you are near a thousand bees nests.... alone with one pooh bear.

I wish i had moneyzzz

[Katame Shiraga]

Granted, but it happens to be an infinitesimally small amount of Yen, the least valuable form of currency there is.

I wish more people were into Electronica-type music.

[Merlin]

Granted, but they all think they listened to it before you, making them total hipsters. . .

I wish I lived closer to my hometown, so I could see my friends.

[Katame Shiraga]

Granted, but upon returning home, you suddenly find out that everyone has either moved away or died.

I wish I had 3D glasses so I could see Sevvy's siggy without murdering my eyes every time.

[whitexsuicide]

granted but it doesn't do anything.... i tired..>>

I wish to not feel hungry all the time...

[Darth Vader]

Granted, but now you feel thirsty all the time.

I wish class started a little later in the day tomorrow.

[whitexsuicide]

graned but the classes drag on forever...

I wish for more manga!

[Darth Vader]

Granted, but the overall quality of the manga (including all preexisting and future manga) drops severely.

I wish that I had a cute little Labrador Retriever puppy. (I'm terrified as to how this will be corrupted.)

[Katame Shiraga]

Granted, you find one in the local newspaper, but, because of your overwhelming excitement over having found a Lab, you fail to see the underlying text within the ad, which is that the Lab is, in fact, a Hellhound and, once fully matured, it will devour the soul of its current master, damning them to be eternally burned within Hell, even if they have not committed any sins, rape his/her body and then ovulate, where the Hellhound's puppies then eat the master's body from the inside out once they reach sufficient age, leaving not even bones behind.

I wish I wasn't capable of such gory, gruesome, and macabre thoughts so easily.

[Darth Vader]

That actually sounds like my kind of motherfuckin' puppy dog.

Granted, though you are now totally incapable of thinking or speaking of anything even remotely explicit in regards to a violent context; instead, you easily and constantly are prone to turning everything you do and say into something overly joyous, obnoxiously flamboyant, and ridiculously optimistic.

EDIT: Oh, yeah, I forgot my wish.

I wish that I wasn't so afraid of dark, murky waters.