[mdom]

what
we love you

[Kory]

Oh! You're on tumblr too?

I've been kinda neglecting my blog. ;u;
I log in every day, but I just collect pictures and then leave. Dx

@Barker
And can definitely relate to that feeling of unlovable ;-;

I'm in a bad situation right now with a man, and my friend I complained to about it said, "Any man who tells you that he loves you right away is either crazy or lying"....

I know he meant well, but I interpreted that as,
"If a man tells you he loves you, he's lying because you're totally not worth loving right away"

Granted, he might be right about my "relationship" RN.

For what it's worth, you seem like a nice person. I don't know you that well, but you seem well liked and I'm sure there are people out there who would definitely love you. Sometimes it takes time... And believe me, I'm telling myself the same thing too

[Stabbsworth]

it just really sucks because while i *know* that i'm loved and people at least somewhat enjoy my presence, i can't exactly comprehend this. i'm not sure what happened to make things this way either. and at the same time it feels like nobody really wants me around if nobody's paying much attention to me / my artworks.

i'll probably be fine tomorrow or something, it's just annoying to end up spiralling from anxiety / potentially undiagnosed mental illness stuff.

it doesn't help that i give a lot more of myself than i should be giving in being the therapist type of person and thus not accepting help because i should be able to handle my own shit if i can listen to other people vent.

i think a lot of this stems from wanting to be useful in a capitalistic society that can easily replace me once i outlive my usefulness. i'm scared that friends will do this too, y'know?

[Kory]

It's definitely hard to find a place in today's world. I feel really bad for people my age these days because basically, regardless of wealth, people tend to fall into the same, boring, old ways of their parents and parents before them... Like. They go to school, go to college, get married, have children, move into a house and live out the rest of their days doing what other people told them to do... And their children will fall into the same patterns too.

Anxiety can definitely f*ck you up if it's not treated. :(
I hope you're able to find help for it soon!

Being the "therapist" in a relationship is really hard. I have tried so hard to help friends (or, people I thought were friends) by being their "therapist", but oftentimes it just wears you down. You know? Like, you can't pour from an empty cup...

I've definitely experienced friends leaving me eventually after I lost my usefulness. I've lost a couple of "friends" since my "relationship" with this man started to go sour. I've lost a few before that due to them not knowing how to handle my "symptoms"... I think it's a better way to live if you only think of your own happiness. What would make you happy? It's nice to want to make others happy, but only if it brings you your own happiness... You know?

[mdom]

Ava Imma slap you right now!! How dare you interpret it that way!! Obviously you can be loved right now! And tomorrow, and yesterday!!!

[Kory]

Mdom ;-;

<3

Love is a complicated thing I guess

[mdom]

It really is.
I was watching one of my icons, Lizzo, and she said, 'if you can love me, you can love yourself' and that was nice to see because it's usually 'you can't love others until you can love yourself' or 'you can't expect others to love you until you love yourself' and why not bitch!! Why can't I be lovable even when my self-steem is down!!

[littl3chocobo]

i wonder if it is the right time to say this or not but if i may;

it might be worth it to step back from a need to be 'loved' and maybe consider working on feeling comfortable within your own skin? conversations can be had all day about loving and not loving but if you cannot even feel good about yourself how can you love yourself and how can you process other people's love for you?

i mean, you really should consider looking inside of yourself and trying to suss out what it is that feels off to you about your own self and try to find the source of it so that you can either 'fix' it or learn where it should go instead so that it is not working against you.

[Mekatra]

I hate the belief that you need to love yourself for other people to love you. You can be very much loved even in the depths of self-loathing. You can BE very loving to other people while absolutely hating yourself.

One way I have been working on being more accepting of myself is to observe myself in the way that a nature documentary might. Describe myself (in my best David Attenborough voice) in terms of a mysterious and majestic creature going about my day. It has led to a weird appreciation for myself and while I don't think this is exactly what my counselor lady was thinking when she said I should try observing my emotions and actions as though I am watching from the outside instead of being the one experiencing them, it has led to some introspection and occasionally hilarious moments that have helped make me like myself more, and it has ben somewhat helpful with my overreactions that cause depression spirals.

[littl3chocobo]

i am glad to hear you can enjoy your moments of silliness and get something from it X''D

oh man, so it rained while i was asleep and now my nose is snubbed up

[Espy]

I REALLY HATE THE WHOLE “YOU CAN’T EXPRCT OTHERS TO LOVE YOU IF YOU DON’T LOVE YOURSELF” BULLSHIT

bc it’s bullshit

aaaaAAAAA

[littl3chocobo]

do you at least agree that being to tolerate yourself is important though? XD

[Espy]

ask me again when i’m sober

[littl3chocobo]

eech! i think i might need an adult again. i'm not qualified for this

[Espy]

i don’t think any of is are

[littl3chocobo]

uh oh. maybe three qualified adults would be better?