[Kage No Hoko Ki]

Warning things inside of here may be exlict. Enter at your own risk.

Im Sorry Everybody

Have you ever just sat down and wondered.
And thought about.... Where you wanna be. When you get older.
Look. Look. Im not trying to be famous from my rapping but hey if it happens it happens.
Only ever had enough to get by god placed me in an enviroment in which i would always cry but i cam to realize he was trying to teach me a lesson no im not religous but you get the message no excuse for where i am and where im going. I gotta try my hardest and do my best. Everyday i have to fight to be better then all the rest. I know one day ill get out of here its my goal in life to be better then my parents were but no matter how many times i scream there names say i hate them and wish i could leave i always love them becuase i know they were always there for me. They stood behind me a hundred percent and were there wherever i went. I have anger issues becuase for the first 8 years of my life all they ever did was fight. In a bad place i know i forgive you mom and dad can you forgive me for makeing you sad? Im sorry that ive been such a bad son im sorry i wish i could be a better one.
Look at me behind this microphone crying. It was wrong for me to laugh when i thought of everyone who cared dieing. I tryed to push you all away becuase i was afraid. Im trying to turn my life around for the better. I hope one day i make everyone proud. Ill stand on top of the world and look down no more poverty for me ill be free and so will my family.
I know i wanna skate for ever and hopefully be famous but by then i hope its not to late. I know i gotta get out there and practice so one day i can be great. Rapping is second on my list but only if i can keep my style to entertain i wont seel out so what if they put me out at least im keeping true like my dads always told me to. I heard my first rap when i was only 3 then i heard slim. He inspired me to continue and persue my dream. I started rapping at 13 was young in the game and still am. I heard the clowns i love at 15 and was down from then on. Mainstream isnt where i wanna be anymore cuz underground is what im running for. At this moment however i wanna say sorry for those ive hurt. So to all them girls out there who i was with and those i left im sorry but it wasnt mean to be. I hope however you can forgive me. I just had to go for one reason or another. I still hope we can talk to each other.
Look at me behind this microphone crying. It was wrong for me to laugh when i thought of everyone who cared dieing. I tryed to push you all away becuase i was afraid. Im trying to turn my life around for the better. I hope one day i make everyone proud. Ill stand on top of the world and look down no more poverty for me ill be free and so will my family.
Id like to take this moment to pause and reflect on what ive done to my brother. I love you nate and you know i do. That time in the liveing room was a mistake i dont wanna be an only child again becuase if anything i know ill always have you as a friend. If you ever need anything you can always come to me. Ill have your back no matter what even when we fight. Your my little brother i feel like i have to protect you and teach you. I know weve had some rough times and ive wrote some vicsious rhymes against you. And im sorry for everytime ive hit you out of anger it was wrong i know but i just couldnt control myself. Itw been a while since ive put my hands on your like that i hope it never happens again. I love you brother please dont forget that ever.
Look at me behind this microphone crying. It was wrong for me to laugh when i thought of everyone who cared dieing. I tryed to push you all away becuase i was afraid. Im trying to turn my life around for the better. I hope one day i make everyone proud. Ill stand on top of the world and look down no more poverty for me ill be free and so will my family.
Ok so im out of here for now. I just wanted to say sorry.
So im sorry everyone. I love my family no matter what i say.

[Asami]

That was very interesting, though the various grammatical and spelling errors got to me. You might want to go through it and fix it all up. Remember which there, their or they're to use and that it isn't dieing its dying. When taking a word that ends with e you generally take off the e. So with words you have used like living remove the e. And from what I have seen everytime you spell because you swap the a and u.


Also I take this is a rap? Because of what you stated at the beginning so maybe you'll be able to record it for us to listen to. Because sometimes the music makes it better and easier to understand.

Keep writing though ^^

[Natsunaine]

I agree with the grammar thing, Another thing that really doesn't matter but makes it easier to read you might wanna divide it into paragraphs or whatever its also makes it more eye appealing other than that i like the lyrics you should def keep it up malinko :)

[Suzerain of Sheol]

Unfortunately, it really does matter. Writing is the combination of ideas and execution, and if you forego execution, you're left with ideas -- which are cheap and easy to come by. So, stuff like formatting and syntax really is important. The bad part, though, is that they don't earn you any points -- being structurally and technically perfect just puts you on a level playing field with your competitors, leaving more abstract things like the successful evocation of mood and emotion, thematic resonance, or (in the context of a narrative piece) strong characterization and engaging dialogue to be the media by which your work is judged.

In fact, I'd say that the technical aspect of writing matters far more than the conceptual aspect, as a skilled writer can make even a dull idea worth reading about, while a good idea on its own can never justify poor writing. It's all about getting those swirling images in your head onto paper in a way that is true to the spirit of the idea, and bringing them to life in a way that other people will empathize with. It's all about execution, and execution is, truly, the hardest part of writing.

[Crystalkins]

Its good.

[Kage No Hoko Ki]

Thanks guys. :) i love hearing advice from others. Yes i know my spelling needs work and i think that would help. And i have no way of recording it right now but maybe sometime soon hopefully.

[Asami]

Well if you do record it make sure to post it here for us to hear :D

[Natsunaine]

Hey, Spider monkey (Kage) i still have my apologies on my laptop that you rapped do you want me to post it for you bro?