[Demo]

Well I'm really insecure about a lot of things...

Mainly sexuality. I am as the world calls it gay.
That however does not mean I wanna be a girl, want to become a girl, like wearing girls clothes, the color pink, talking like a retard, acting like a retard girl, or have anything to do with a girl.
What I'm getting at is that I'm really afraid to tell anyone that I am a homosexual because that's what comes to their damned minds and I hate it. I just want to be a normal guy but it seems society and every little high school boy believes that when you are gay you have to act a certain way that being gay has been perceived.

However I am not a friggin overly dominant creep show.
I get insanely offended and pissed when my friends make the occasional joke of being gay, or going shopping, or being a gay best friend. I don't wanna go shopping with you, I don't wanna talk about boys, and no I don't wanna wear your damn clothes. I've said this to my girl friends but they seem to take it jokingly.

I mean I just ugh am pissed at this, I just don't like it.
Being gay is not the best thing here in Delaware because the gay population is small and is mostly the stereotype guys that I mentioned. Everyone one of them makes me want to punch the living daylights out of em constantly. -.-

But besides that I just I dunno really am in a weird place in my life at the moment...
The only relationship I have ever had is probably the worst thing I've experienced yet. I won't go into details but I was taken advantage of and yes that piece of shit fits the bill mostly of the stereotypical gay.

I have no clue why the hell I'm posting this but I am. I just feel like this would be the place to do it.

[Serra Britt]

I can't entirely relate Demo but I do understand a little bit. I sometimes dislike telling people I'm a transgirl, because for a lot of people it puts a whole bunch of notions into their heads about what that means to them, and not what it means to me. So I tend not to tell people. Same with my relationships and all that, and in many ways it's hard to not be able to be open with people.

I'm sorry you have to deal with labels and the like Demo, I really am. I'm hoping for a future where people can be judged individually rather than on some perceived notion.

[Quiet Man Cometh]

That sucks. Not being homosexual myself I can't really relate but I can imagine how frustrating it can be. I know a couple people who are homosexual and the stereotype speech seems to vary a little. One person did that as a sort of sign to other people (other gay people) that he was gay.

Personally, I couldn't care less about someone's sexual orientation, but I live in an urban area that's quite friendly to all manner of sexualities so I haven't seen much of what discrimination and stereotype can do. I guess it's one of those things that people just need to get over, and it's the people who won't go along with the stereotype that get the brunt of the flak until perceptions start to change.

[Sei]

I usually try to avoid this forum, but I personally have experienced this and know exactly how you feel. The common stereotypes for being a homosexual male are unfortunately engrained in most people due to the overly-feminine homosexual males on TV and the internet.

I went through the exact same thing; when I came out to people (mostly females, for male friends were a rarity for me), they wanted me to help them do their make-up and go shopping with them. I may be into men, but I'm still a male and do not want to be 'one of the girls.' I dress in male clothes, don't wear any make up, and don't to fit into that stereotype.

I do see the stereotype on a daily basis, and it does drive me crazy, not for the fact that it exists (as it wouldn't exist if it wasn't, to some degree, true), but that males who just happen to like males are expected to be that way as well.

As to your relationship, my first fit the stereotype exactly and used me and threw me away, so I really feel for you. Luckily, I have found a new boyfriend and we've been together for almost six years now (and he doesn't fit the stereotype, just like me). You can find someone who treats you right and is more like you, I believe it.

Demo, if you ever need someone to talk to, know that I am available either by PMs or Skype. I've been there and am willing to listen if you need someone. :3

[Demo]

Thanks quiet, I appreciate the support.

Sei, that is entirely creepy but comforting to hear that I'm not the only one that has to go through this crap. Thanks, I know it will be easier when I'm older and whatnot but right now these people drive me insane sometimes XD

[CupcakeDolly]

First of all - YES. You're awesome.

The problem, really, is that when somebody discovers something about themselves that's as life-altering as being gay, they probably think "Wow. I'm gay. What do I do with this?" And then they turn to other role models or - unfortunately - to stereotypes for guidance. I lost a good high school friend of mine because he became a completely different and highly annoying person when he came out of the closet. It's not so much that they're fitting into their role as... they just can't think for themselves, and who needs to be around those kinds of people anyway?

As for the people who annoy you with bothersome stereotyping, you might try doing what you've done with us here - let them know that you're an individual, and would like to be treated as such, without anyone making assumptions about you. I think everyone deserves that much.

[Demo]

Thanks cupcake. It's hard when your looking for something other than just sex with a person at my age -.- It pisses me off.

[Sei]

Well, that's another stereotype that gay men have been 'blessed' with: the need to forgo a relationship and just have sex whenever they can (one-night-stands and such). Honestly, you're just as likely to have the same temptations when you're not gay; it's just 'easier' for heterosexuals (especially) to get into a relationship because it's accepted. Sometimes, due to societal constraints, hooking up just makes more sense.

However, there are guys out there that want more than just sex, though it takes a while to find them. Usually... when you get guys that are in their twenties, you tend to find those ready for more than just hook-ups (though it depends on the guy ultimately). I don't know exactly how old you are, but I didn't find mine until freshman year of college when I was eighteen.

[Zenella]

I'm not a male and I'm not gay but I just wanted to say that I'm sorry you have to deal with that and hopefully it will get better for you.

I'm not straight but I understand somewhat where a lot of straight girls are coming from. I can't be completely sure of this, but I think that they would rather have gay best friend instead of girl best friend because there might be less drama and backstabbing? I think that's just what comes to their minds, even if it's not true. So they automatically jump to the conclusion that since you're gay, you're like a girl because you like guys and will therefore do things girls do. I know it's annoying, but you just have to explain to them that you're a guy and just because you're gay, it doesn't mean you're feminine and want to be a girl. People are gonna stereotype all the time, with anything and everything. So you just gotta speak your mind and try to get them to understand and if they don't, just move on ><

I just thought I would add my thoughts in. I hope it makes sense xD

[Demo]

I appreciate them Zenelle and I try but they don't seem to get it through their skulls XP It does not help that practically ever male hates me in school... Though I know mostly why XD Thankfully not cause I'm gay, mostly because all the chicks seem to dig me even when they know I'm gay. Also apparently I'm intimidating o.o XD

[Quiet Man Cometh]

I know in some circles girls like to hang around homosexual men in part because they are less intimidated by them in terms of sexuality. With gay men there isn't the potential for sexual predation or unwanted flirting that some girls might be concerned about when spending time with guys in general. Such is the perception anyway.

[Demo]

Yeah that is definitely one of the reasons they like it.

[Ginger]

Being a girl myself, or woman.. whatever you want to call me... I do feel more comfortable around gay men than straight men because I do not like being checked out, or flirted with, if it isn't my boyfriend who's doing it. I do have a couple of guy friends who are bisexual and not open about it and I never worried about them coming onto me because they were more curious than anything at their young ages and more interested in exploring relationships with other guys than girls. They were pretty straightforward when they told me, and I never would have thought of them as being gay. I was thinking to myself "That's why they haven't come onto me or indicated anything like that..."

I'm pretty grateful that they came to me. They are both very insecure about their sexuality and neither act like the stereotypical gay that everyone seems to think of. That's why I never would have thought they were gay, or bisexual. It's all a matter of acceptance and security about yourself. In some places it is safe to come out, but since it is generally not accepted in the United States, there aren't many areas where the majority approve of it, which I think is bullshit.

[Quiet Man Cometh]

Where I used to live (small conservative town) it's recognized that homosexuality is no accepted well and so the GLBT community is "underground" for the most part. Ironically, this has led to the mistaken belief that there aren't that many homosexuals or transexuals around. From what I hear, the community is actually fairly large, moreso than the more conservative individuals would care to admit.

There does seem to be something of a "don't talk about it" thing going on since I know a couple people who are openly gay but it seems to be ignored as something of a professional or familial courtesy. It's sad though. I used to work at a coffee shop and a new employee arrived one day, very openly homosexual. I had one, maybe two shifts with him before I heard news that he was fired due to being overly obnoxious. While I can believe that to some degree,(he was very loud and tactile but not beyond tolerance I thought) most seemed pretty sure it was because he was gay, but of course, it wasn't talked about.

Well now that I feel like a downer here, I will say that I very much support respect and such for all sexualities, and find it annoying more than anything else that other people seem to think it's their business who people choose to have relationships with >.<

The whole world isn't like that though, which is good to remember on down days. :)

[Funkduder]

Unfortunately, my friend, I cannot sympathize with your trials and tribulation, although I can say that your sexuality will have no effect on how I perceive you, or how the community of Trisphee perceives you (for the most part) and if they (or I) start acting differently, I would gladly help you punch that persona in the face (XD) because that sort of thing (that is the sudden changes in people when they find out more about someone) frustrates me as well. To me, it's like finding out that your girlfriend is on the cheer squad and than thinking she's a ditz just because of that. It's an insult.
Anyways, I hope things will turn out in good favor for you, and I wish you good luck in your endeavor.

[Demo]

Thanks guys. Though I hope in the future I can find some sort of peace XD I'm just lucky I have a good mom and dad even though he doesn't really like it or accept it.