[Avox]

A friend of mine just posted on Facebook saying she's going on a "fasting diet" for a month. As in not eating, for a month. Why? Because another girl said she did it for a month and a half and my friend wants to see if she can do it. Also, she wants to do it to "see how the children in Africa feel" when they can't eat.

She says she's not just doing it to lose weight, but I get the feeling that's exactly what it is. She says she changed her mind and will only do it for two days, but I don't feel I should believe her right away. Should I just drop it and let her make her decisions? Or continue to try to talk her out of it?

[katyasha]

If she is still doing it tell someone right away. People who do that think they are fat and this is the only way to lose weight it's not.

[Fey]

Also some fun facts:
~Fasting does indeed reduce how many calories/fat you take in, but your body retaliates and for a LONG time after you stop fasting and start eating again it will HORDE everything you eat. This means you can sometimes gain back two to three times the weight you lost.
~Your brain needs carbohydrates to work correctly, if you take those away completely you will stop being able to complete rational thought. In essence you will kill your brain over time.
~Even 'ritual' fasts aren't really true fasts, it's typically just not eating during certain times of the day.
~You will loose muscle before you loose fat, so she may drop weight, but it'll be the muscles that help her move, not the fat she has on her hips.

[Kiddiss]

It sounds like your friend may have a few issues going on.
In addition to everything Fey said, there may be a few things to point out to your friend.
-> If she is actually doing this (or convinced herself she is doing this) to understand how starving children in Africa feel, point out to her that by doing a fast, she's not helping those kids at all. If she wants to help famine victims, she can donate money (if she has a job), or her time to a group that has a proven track record of helping people. The reason I say "proven" is because too many charities have been found to misuse monies that were supposed to go to a specific cause.

-> Also, if she is a teenager or early 20's, a fast can really hurt her normal growth. Many people think you stop growing when your teens are over, but I know from my own body that growth can continue through your early 20's (my body didn't stop developing until I was 23).

-> Just because someone else says they fasted for a month and a half is no reason to try it yourself. I hate to use the old, "If your friends blindly jumped off a cliff" B.S. that parents resort to, but peer pressure is often a factor in what can be considered a radical action (and, yes, I believe that fasting for a month is extremely radical). It's even worse if your friend has body image issues.

If you can't talk her out of it, is there someone whom she looks up to, like a role model in her life, who can sit her down and talk with (not to) her about this?

I wish you the best of luck. The fact that you have even posted this question shows that you do care for your friend.

[Zerook]

Apparently fasting can be healthy for some people in some cases (read something on BBC about 1 day a week fasts, and I know a few diabetics that have to fast for health reasons). But everyone else also pointed the pitfalls of it.

If it's genuine, I guess get off her back, but if you have concerns, talk to her about it. End of the day it's really up to her to make that decision though if it comes to her forming an eating problem, slap her.

Though most people collapse by the 3rd day. A lot of them employ really dubious techniques like self harm to get them through it for long periods rather than self control itself.

[momo the peachy]

That is stupid, only doing something because someone else said they did it. How does your friend know what the other person said was the truth? Starving yourself doesn't make you lose weight, and it doesn't make you look pretty or beautiful. What it actually does is make you very sick. Try and talk your friend out of it, it's not worth risking her health.

[Avox]

katyasha - The problem about telling someone is that I wouldn't know who to tell. Her parents (she's only fifteen, I think) have joint custody, or something worked out. I don't know her mother and have no way to contact her. The soonest I'd be able to contact her father wouldn't be for a number of months (after this "fasting period" of hers) as I've moved. I could tell some mutual friends, but I'm not sure they really care what choice she makes.

Fey - Thank you! I'll be sure to let her know.

Kiddiss - I told her that the children in Africa won't care that she's starving herself and that it would be sort of like a slap in the face to them, since she's WILLINGLY giving up food while they are FORCED to have little to nothing to eat. I really don't think she cares about that, it was just as added excuse because she knew how I would react to the other "reason."

I told her it could be dangerous and harmful, though I really don't believe she fully understands the consequences that could come with starving herself. I'll try finding pictures and information to share with her in the hopes she'll pay some attention to it.

I know for a fact that she suffers from body image issues (she's openly admitted to it in the past and has shown signs through her actions). I feel like using that line, at least, would just be something she'd turn off in her mind, you know? Like most kids do when someone tries to say peer pressure (even if it's you pressuring yourself and not someone else actually pressuring you to do it) isn't always a good thing.

I don't know any person she looks up to, really, though she may have a boyfriend I could try talking to. >.<

Zerook - Fasting for a month can't be healthy for anyone. And, for those cases where fasting for short periods of time IS a good thing, it's been recommended by a doctor. Right? I am worried and I have tried talking to her about it but I seem to be going nowhere fast.

momo the peachy - That's what I was wondering, honestly. If the other person was being truthful. But I feel that shouldn't really matter, it's what she decides to do with that information that matters.

Thank you, everyone. I'll try talking to her some more and keep harping her about the health hazards.

[CupcakeDolly]

The sad thing about this situation is that there's really nothing you can do. She's going to have to realize on her own that this is the wrong thing for her to be doing. I was anorexic and bulemic through high school, up until about a year ago. It takes some serious image issues to take that drastic step toward changing yourself, and nothing anybody says in the short term can change the deep-seated hatred that you hold for the way you look.

As her friend, you should support her no matter what. I'm not saying you should cheer on her decision if you disapprove, by all means, continue to let her know your feelings on the matter. But be sure to let her know that you'll be there when she needs you. This is something she'll decide for herself, with or without your approval. Hell, you never know, she may decide that it's too much and abandon the plan altogether. You'll just have to wait it out and trust that she'll learn something from it.

[HABIT]

I starved a few times and not by my own choice either, and after a few days of it, I actually got sick and threw up. I hate throwing up.
I'd say here as well that perhaps if you start seeing signs of her starving herself, that maybe it's time to try to find a way to make an intervention even if you have to contact that show Intervention.

[Fey]

If she's a minor and you see signs of her starving herself alert her parents, if they do nothing bring in Social Services. If she's a legal adult(18 and over) you can actually call a local doctor for intervention options.

[AcidDrop]

starving yourself is NOT a good way to loose weight.. you need to tell your friend.. it can seriously damage your organs because your not getting what you need... she will end up becoming ill.

[Alyssia]

I'd still try to talk it out with her completely to see what all she has to say about it, but what she's considering is really dangerous. If she's going to do this the way you're saying her body will begin to consume itself to sustain normal functions. Not to mention it could adversely affect her growth as well as feminine functions.
If she's really looking to lose weight there is no real quick fix for it that won't have consequences. Try and thoroughly explain what she's considering doing and just how much of an impact it would have on her. Maybe if you lay that kind of information on her it will open her eyes.