[SparX]

My depression has successfully warped itself again, but is staying functional. I no longer feel the need to self harm really, but really really wish an accident would happen that would cause my death.

[lovelacedroses]

I just experienced my first social weariness a few nights ago. I'm no longer enjoying small talk as I used to. It just feels like putting on airs. I don't know if my gut feeling is trying to tell me something.

[Den]

I'm a bit nervous to bring up the fact that I was at a crisis stabilization center the weekend of the 11th with you, even though you kind of have an idea of how bad things were getting for me, because of Facebook posts. I know you've been more than willing to stay by my side even seeing my darkness, but yeah... anxiety and depression are jerks.

[Kaderin Triste]

Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I don't want a relationship. But no one seems to understand that. And I am so tired of being lonely because "I chose" to be this way.

[Tsukimiya]

I am deep down very depressed but I've been able to keep my depression at bay by sheer will. Because of my past, I've came to terms with the fact that I am not meant to find happiness. It is a punishment, a consequence from my past. Instead, my life purpose is to help others be happy by sacrificing my own. This conclusion depresses me but I wear a mask every day.

[Den]

To all those on Tris who are struggling, please, reach out. Depression and anxiety mess with your view of how things "should" be. And I'm speaking from experience on that. It will not be an easy journey, but asking for help can save your life.

[lovelacedroses]

I'm currently in the funks and I hate it as an extrovert. :( Lately, I'm becoming so sensitive over everything. I really need a break from school to recuperate.

[Debauchery]

Sometimes I wish that I had never had kids.
I love my daughter and son, but Damn, it'd be nice to not have to have the stress of parenthood constantly on my shoulders.

[Coda]

I think every parent wishes that at some point or another.

[Kaderin Triste]

I'm so frustrated with my dad! He refuses to respect my decisions and treat me like an adult. And based on how he treats my siblings, I suspect it's because I don't have any significant other.
Because of this, I'm beginning to hate him.

Getting rid of my childhood Christmas ornaments and then lying and saying I had already taken them just makes it worse, too.

[regine]

I'm afraid that i might get caught doing what i shouldnt be doing. Im afraid that i would dissapoibt them because they believed in me :(

[SparX]

I know that these people are not my friends.
I know that they seem to think our friendship is great, but it nothing more then a relationship between and enabler and an abuser.
I understand that I only wish to help people, but leaving myself open like this is the reason I am constantly walked on.
I wish to sock these people in the face, but also don't feel like dealing with the consequences of it either. YET THEY WON'T SHUT UP.

I spend more and more time at work because I do not want to be home. I do not want to be in a space I cannot even view as my own when I pay for it.
Yet even as I try to stand up for myself in these manners, I am being told I am the cause of the pain, I am the reason someone is suffering, I am the one who is being to harsh.
At what point do I ever win? I either have to suffer silently, or be the one blamed when I try to speak out?

I have become physically sick with these people here, throwing up from panic attacks multiple times a week after I FINALLY got it under control.

So my only wish for now is loneliness, I just want to be alone and no one will give me any space. I get less then 3 hours a day to spend with my husband while awake, and I spend 2.5 of it with other people....
Hell even my one day a week I get a full night to myself, a nice 7 hours of time for me has been invaded and I am down to maybe a half hour.....

Venting doesn't even work anymore because it never stops I never get a chance to reset it's been a little less then a year since I was juggling 3 jobs working 70+hours a week and I still have not stopped since then...

[Kaderin Triste]

I have wanted to move for years. And in the back of my head, I think I always knew why...but it took me stumbling across and reading an old e-mail from 2007 that my dad sent me.
My dad is emotionally abusive. It's very subtle and he really only seems to do it to me.
But the farther away I can move, the less likely it is that I will ever have to see or talk to him.
None of my local friends seem to understand though, and they constantly tell me that I should be happy to get to spend time with him and that I'll miss him when he dies. But I really won't miss him that much.

[Miss Sandman]

I tried to commit suicide multiple times.... But iam well now but it took 5years to stabilize my moods! I just can't stand myself and others!!!

[Potironette]

The older I grow the less I hate my mom and the more I hate her wife :/ . As a kid her wife would come up to my sister and I and rant about how our mother was injust and how that was just her and how we all just had to share the experience together.

Now...It seems like my mother's wife is more mentally destructive than my mother ha.


Every kid should respect their parents? I would never respect a stepmother that talked about everyone behind their backs. I wouldn't respect a mentally damaging mother. But, I guess when I grow up I'll still be grateful that they spent money on me.


It's funny. I was raised learning that nothing is more important than money. Can money buy love? No. But it sure can buy people.



EDIT: Granted, as I get older, the less indignation I feel towards having my parents--kind of just accept what I can and feel more ashamed for being dramatic about my family situation when there are people who have it worse >_<

[Kaderin Triste]

I feel like an idiot who can never say/do/type the right things. Ever.
I feel so much like I am a waste of a perfectly good life.
Then I get kitty snuggles. And it helps. A little. I feel like I'm good for something.
But I still feel like I can't ever say the right things.
XP

Ugh...sorry for the emo ranting stuff.