[Ginger]

I don't really know how to explain it.

I get all shaky and I start to cry when I assume someone is talking bad about me lately. Usually my assumption is right, which is why I react that way. But lately, I'm assuming everyone I know is.

I recently had a really bad experience with my boyfriend on the phone. I was yelling because I was angry at him, and he didn't tell me his brother was in the car with him. So his brother came up to me and asked why I'm so rude to my boyfriend, when really, my boyfriend was the one who was COMPLETELY disrespectful in the first place. I was talking to him on New Years about being touched inappropriately by family and I was crying at the time, and he wasn't listening to me at all. Instead, he got a boner and was humping me as I was telling him about something I never talk about. I haven't even really talked to family about it. What he did made me feel like he was one of "them". One of those people who had the nerve to disrespect my womanhood. I don't really feel that way about it anymore. I just feel like I can't trust him on the phone or on messenger anymore. I'm afraid someone might be listening in on the conversation or reading over his shoulder, even with him knowing. I don't think he knows how bad that makes me look, if I'm yelling at him and whoever hears doesn't hear MY side.

Is this social anxiety and does anyone else on Trisphee have it?

[Logan]

Sound like hes over with you for LTR...
just pure sex relationship...
Moving on and you will be happier. <3

[Blitzkrieg]

Honestly, that's simply not the way your boyfriend should be treating you. When you're opening up and he's doing something so akin to the issue you've been crying about, I think it's time to at least have a serious talk about it.

Granted, that's besides the point when it comes to your anxiety. In terms of that problem, I would think you just need to not put so much weight into what others think about you. If they don't like you the way you are, then I'm sure that they are not worth your time nor your tears. Just try to focus on the people who do care for you and treat you right.

[Mica]

Frankly, if anyone had the nerve to disrespect my trust like that, I'd be royally pissed. Also, I would have probably physically hit his brother(and him, really...) if he asked why I was so rude and didn't have the balls to ask his brother first. And if he did and his brother lied, then he's in for another world of pain.

Moving on.

It's natural to be conscious of what other people think of you, a lot of people have that kind of anxiety though maybe in different levels. I'm not sure if it's exactly social anxiety, I just know how it feels. Thinking about it helps sometimes, I sit, think and repeat to myself that their opinions are probably worthless to me if they are quick enough to make a bad judgment on a brief impression. Now, sometimes that doesn't work and I still feel bad, but I resign to that fact and after a little bit longer, it's all better now because, well, it's true.

I didn't feel better right away, but that kind of solution works for me. We're all different but you might try and give it a chance. Like Blitz said, try and focus on the people around you who actually care and treat you with respect.

[Ginger]

I am having a huge issue. For some reason my boyfriend's older brother and his older brother's girlfriend keep posting rude comments on my status updates, like they don't have anything nice to say about me anymore, just because we had a tiny disagreement about gun control. I told his brother that I am for gun control and his brother said they won't have any respect for me anymore because they are anti-gun control. They play first person shooters all the time and they have guns they like to shoot off. I respect their beliefs and I don't know why they can't respect mine. I really didn't expect them to react that way and it really hurts me because my boyfriend's family means more to me than my family does to me. My family turned their backs on me after I was sexually abused by my step great grandpa up until I was eight. They didn't believe it, and he didn't go to jail because his church bailed him out the next day. Then my grandpa on my mom's side did it, but he had enough money to where he could get a good lawyer and win the case. Then my cousin did it the same year and his mom didn't believe me. She thought I was paranoid because of what happened with her dad a few months earlier.

To have my boyfriend's family start turning their backs on me is really hurtful. They are all I have and I feel like I understand them better than my own family.

[Ginger]

Or maybe I'm just more sensitive than others. I don't really know what the case is on this.

[Hikori]

It doesn't seem they want you to have a healthy relationship with them... I don't know what to say hon... sorry...

As far as social anxieties go, yes... I have them a lot and am working towards adjusting my life to deal with them.

[Mica]

I think the real problem isn't exactly social anxiety. Almost anyone would react that way in your situation- I really doubt you being conscious of others is the problem.

They are being disrespectful and frankly I think they are being more sensitive than you are, considering the situation. Not only that, they are playing childish games on a social site(assuming this is where your status is coming from). Personally, while this is probably an unlikely thing, I think you have to step up and you can't let these people control you. I personally would not tolerate such rude behavior, especially from my boyfriend's family OR him.

Maybe you should rethink your relation, as Hikori said, it is extremely unhealthy for you. Physically and mentally. Is he really worth all that? (Think about this really, really hard. I let go of the one thing that gave me hope for a better future, but he was killing me inside.)

[Taiania]

I can see why you feel this way when they are acting the way they are. They are being disrespectful and rude with no reason to be. And frankly your boyfriend sounds like a jerk, no offence.
It may be an idea to try and move yourself away from them and find solace in others.
You do have a level of anxiety that is obviously disturbing you. Have you thought about talking to a councillor? it can really help.

[Lore]

Social anxiety is loosely defined as being terrified in social situations. This means not being able to make eye contact, stumbling around a conversation (or trying to avoid one), experiencing physical pain or dangerous symptoms, and etc.

Social anxiety doesn't really fit at all with what you're describing.

I'd say your situation revolves more around the brazen (and idiotic) nature of those you choose to affiliate with. You've said nothing here that indicates you've done anything wrong, and all of your reactions seem more like typical responses to me. You're only human and shouldn't have to endure such cruelty for little to no reason.

It's not my place to say, but you also appear to be exhibiting self-doubt and blaming this all on yourself. This would be more attributed to depression, but if anything that was caused by the people around you. You should put a little more faith in yourself and listen to people who actually matter as opposed to those who know you have nobody else.

[Saiyouri]

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I'm sorry to hear that you have to deal with this. I am sorry to say but I honestly think your boyfriend and family are worthless asses if they act like that towards something important and something stupid as gun control. I really think you should talk to your boyfriend about what is going on and his behaviour and if he doesn't seem to be taking things seriously I think you should dump him. He isn't worth that much trouble.

I know what it feels like to have family turn against you because of the abuse you described. No one should feel that way and it does take alot to open up about that to someone you trust. To have that person turn on you and think it's funny is completely uncalled for. People who go through abuses like that need to be supported and listened to. I am sorry you had to suffer so much in your life *hugs* No one deserves that.

I hope things can be corrected between you and your boyfriend. It sounds like you truly care deeply for him. I hope something good comes out of your talk.

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