[Misericorde]

So I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 6 months now... And we have a LOT of problems. He's aware of it. I'm most aware. He blocks out all of what he can to try and deny the fact that we have a very rocky relationship... Well yesterday I was out with a friend, and randomly, my boyfriend send me a message on facebook, telling me I had a relationship request... So I checked what it was, and there it was... He had set his status to engaged, and used the request on Facebook as a way to propose to me. Not in person, not down on one knee, and no ring in sight... Now, my friend I was with suggested that he thought it was romantic, in a way, because he put it in FB for the whole world to see, yada yada... But I'm not sure I see it the same way, considering my boyfriend -knows- that I wanted him to ask for my dad's permission first, and that I wanted a romantic, one knee, ring in hand proposal... Needless to say, despite my disgust at the entire situation, I accepted... I didn't have the heart to say no... I want the proposal I have dreamed of for years, and I know I won't get it... I don't really know what to do about this all... I don't wanna hurt him, I really don't, but I don't know... It just seemed so meaningless to me... I'm wondering what you all think of this... What would you do, in my place? Would you like this method of being proposed to? Do you think it's sweet, or is it too depersonalized? I don't know... -Sigh.-

[Ginger]

I think.. he should do it the old-fashioned way, even after he did it through Facebook. Who knows, maybe he will? Life has this way of throwing you unexpected surprises =)

[Foxy]

Don't 'settle' because you think you 'can't' get the right proposal. The way he proposed was really lazy and impersonal. If he really loves you and really wants to marry you then you need to tell him you'd like a real and romantic proposal. Explain that by romantic you don't mean he needs to spend a ton of cash but that he simply needs to put effort into the whole ordeal because marriage is important to you and it's a big deal. Tell him what you really dream of. Don't be shy! Marriages are far too unstable these days and later on in life that'll be a sore point because you'll resent that you never got the one thing you asked of him that was most important. Stand your ground, be firm, but also listen to him too if he has any input. If he asks you to wait then so be it! Wait until you're both ready. Don't just jump into such a big decision.

I hope that helps.

[Misericorde]

Originally Posted by Ginger

I think.. he should do it the old-fashioned way, even after he did it through Facebook. Who knows, maybe he will? Life has this way of throwing you unexpected surprises =)

I asked him tonight if he ever planned on giving me a proper proposal, and he said that he would when he had a proper ring. He even let me pick out the ring I want, so I guess that's a good thing. I guess it feels a little less empty, knowing that, but for the time being, I'll just consider us engaged to be engaged, I suppose... >w<;

[Ashurato]

Honestly, I think you should solve the problems the two of you are having before you even consider taking the next step. You've only been dating for 6 months and you shouldn't rush into anything. Getting engaged is not going to solve them (and may actually create new ones).

If I were you, I'd reject the Facebook engagement request. It's not too late. Then sit him down and talk about all your issues. If he pitches a fit because you rejected it, then he's definitely NOT ready for marriage.

If you talk about your issues beforehand and not be engaged until he actually HAS a ring, then you may still get your romantic proposal. Because seriously, there's no reason why you can't at least wait until he can afford a ring before getting engaged. BTW, he really should ask your father if he hasn't yet. It may be another problem that's already brewing if your parents are the last to know.

[littl3chocobo]

ashu is right sweetie

[Obbiesan]

i have to agree with ashu cause i proposed to someone and even though i didnt have a ton of money i still got a nice ring just to propose with

[Steam]

In a situation like this it's best to work out any 'rockiness' before becoming heavily involved - remember, divorce is a long, paper-filled process that is emotionally taxing for a lot of people.

In my personal opinion, the way he 'proposed' is a bit tacky, but if he's promising an official, romantic proposal then I suppose it's not official yet.

But if you're rocky, or not sure at all, don't say yes out of guilt. Marriage is an act of love and devotion; it's not supposed to be used as cement mix for a relationship of rubble. (I'm not saying your relationship is rubble...!)

You should talk with him about why he proposed and where the two of you are going to go from here - get everything else cemented before you solidify things with marriage.

[Sunset]

I always wanted the old fashion way with a romantic setting. But, I got proposed to at a restaurant, at least my hubby went down on one knee for me and had a ring in hand.

I guess what I'm trying to say. Is, have him propose again the way you want. Either have a friend hint it to him that you were unhappy with the way he did it, or shoot have your dad sit and have a talk to him. But, most importantly, DO NOT rush into anything. If you want to work on your relationship first then do that. But, getting married wont make y'alls relationship any less rocky. I do wish you luck whatever you decide though. ^^

[Misericorde]

Thanks everyone. I actually told him today that I will -not- marry him, or agree to an engagement, until he proposes the right way. I broke it off this morning after he decided to be an ass with me. I'm determined to get the proposal I want, and I will make sure I get it. I need to continue talking to him though, I haven't seen him much today to be able to. I agree, Ashu is right, and I'll be taking that advice, as well as the rest posted here to heart. I don't wanna be engaged or married out of guilt or fear of saying no and hurting him. I want it because I love him. When I'm ready I'll say yes, and only if he does it right. <3

[Zerook]

If he was aware of how you wanted it, then it was very impersonal and lazy.
I actually discussed how I wanted my partner to propose to me. Even though we were technically engaged from the point of talking about it online, we made in more official when he went through the whole shebang in front of me.

Good luck. Hope things turn out for the best the next time around. xD

[Glass Heart]

hmm, I'm not sure how I'd feel about that, it happened reverse for me since I didn't have a facebook when he asked me didn't get down on one knee but gave me a ring and he looked so excited he had been able to get one for me

though you talked to him and it seems it's all good hope the best for you

[ettah]

Personally, if that happened to me,
the next time i saw him he'd better be prepared to get decked.
that's not cute, thats...special.
in no way, shape or form could that ever be a real proposal.
my opinion. but hey.

[Desserts]

Even though he proposed to you on facebook I think he should propose to you In person. If he really loves you he would do something better than that and be more committed to the relationship.

[Belial]

Thats just as bad as someone breaking up through a text or telling someone a family member died through a text.

Don't ever feel pressured just to make HIM happy, Your happiness counts more. If he can't do it right then he doesn't deserve you.