[Jurinjo]

I have people I call friends...but I haven't really hung out with them in awhile and I'm feeling a distance. Already I have self-esteem issues. I feel unworthy of other people. All I know how to do is what I'm told basically and friends dont' really come out and say what.

I cannot discern it, and twice a particular friend actually pulled me aside to tell me not to stop trying to please people. "pfft" is what I thought. When I hung out with them then I sort of just...stood around smiling and responding to cues for laughing, smiling, etc. Not really a talker in real life. Such a tiny thing but it's eating at me. Are they my friends? Am I even a good friend? Do they really want me around? I'm not socially fun and never have I done anything for them despite my deep desire to they just don't NEED me. I've been crying for an hour and texted asking for a good time to come visit. Probably going to be a "whenever you want" answer which keeps me away cause any time I do that it's at a bad time.

This whole week has been stressful I'm not looking forward to returning to work.

[Nicole]

try hanging out with other people for a bit and see if they text or call you to hang with them after a bit like 3 days or so.
but then again
you always have us too <3 Chuuuuu~

[Jurinjo]

Other? People? I don't know how to find other people D:
All I do right now involving going out in work and I don't like them enough to think of them as friends (besides the the few I do like are not in my age group whatsoever) No to shoot down you're advice ^^; I just can't see of a way to find possible friends.

<3 Yes it's all good online (minus that i tend to actually not chat with people like you, Liz, Casey, and Jade when I'm stressed...that is my friends.)

[Shenandoah]

This is a hard question to answer simply because not every person has the same answer. My first instinct was to say: A friend helps you move your furniture if you need help... a best friend helps you hide the body. But smart ass isn't going to work here.

I understand what you're going through to a degree. I'm not a very social person by nature. Too much interaction makes me nervous and want to isolate myself for a bit. I don't do a lot of things normal 25 year olds tend to do. I don't have many friends and I can count on one hand how many I have outside my office. Are any of them good friends? Hm. I dunno. Sometimes, I want to beat the snot out of my coworkers because they say or do stupid or hurtful shit, but that's a part of life. But at the same time, they are the ones I can turn to if I need an ear.

So, what does make a real friend and not what I call a 'fair-weather friend'? And by the way, a 'fair-weather friend' is someone that doesn't want to hear the bad parts of life from you. They don't really want to hear you cry. And that is not a friend. When the tough gets going, a real friend will be there to help you through it, no matter what happens.

My two friends at work... they are sometimes noisy, irritating, aggravating, and stupid... but they are also great for listening to when I have a problem, invite me to go with them fishing and stuff, make me laugh, make me cry, and make me think. They tell me when I'm being stupid, just as I tell them. They groan at my bad jokes, knowing I do it because they're bad jokes. They like to heckle me and make me embarrassed. They're not nice sometimes. They aren't superficial.

One says whatever he thinks, damn the way it makes me feel. He chose not to give a fuck whether or not it makes another happy, but we also tell him that he needs to learn how to phrase things. By all means, speak your opinion, but don't do it quite so bluntly.

This, of course, doesn't necessarily apply to you. I'm the one that rarely gets angry to the point I'm pissed. Irritation is more my forte when it comes to my two friends. But you have to ask yourself, do you go through a full range of emotions with your friends and still hang with them because they're just that good to be around? And are they willing to help you stand up when you're down? Are they willing to give to you without expecting anything in return?

[Nicole]

>_>
keek
okay then
ummm
why do you limit yourself on making new friends?

[Jurinjo]

I logged out cause I was feeling nervous but had to log back in for your response Shen.

Me I'm like you. Hard to anger and feel like isolating myself when I interact too much. Is that really what a friend is though? I have one coworker who is like you described yours. More often than not he's aggravating to the point I've contemplated beating him with a fast track more than once (the thing price labels at walmart sit in). He's annoyed me to the point of kicking a dent into my truck. He makes jokes at my expense (I'm a klutz and easy to confuse). Yet he can funny and enjoyable to be around despite the degree of anger I experience around him. I hate being angry, never have I had road rage before working at walmart (not always his fault but some have been). I wonder if he is one of those people I can call friends.

With the ones I DO call friends but feeling uncertain... well Mick sort of fell for a girl and just doesn't talk with almost anyone from before even his family. He was very important to me and the one I mentioned who pulled me aside. There is Joe who has always been there for me despite my less "whoohoo party!" than his and he's a tall dork but fun for sure. They're jsut not around.

I'm afraid I pushed many of them away. The only two still around are Dee (who was a friend of Mick and I only acquainted to her before he left), and John who...well may be my only true friend. I keep pushing him away cause he's trying to get me to hang out with old church friends which makes me feel guilty with another thing I'm struggling with best left untouched for now.

A long post and tough questions. One not solvable with just simple words and...well you're not a therapist right? I doubt one is reading this and anyone who is isn't going to get over a $100 an hour from me heh...

I was thinking of confront them and talking like I did in my first post in a way. How I can even know if they're not just tolerating me out of pity? >_<

[Nicole]

usually best to just ask

[Shenandoah]

@Nicole: Not so much limit myself as I don't know how to do it...

@Juri: *loves on* That is a very hard question to ask someone because there will always be the suspicion they will lie to you. But, hey, everyone needs to be accepted in some way.

[Lauv Keiko]

I won't base it from my experience...but hey, they sound like they don't even need you around...I don't know.
You should just ask them >3< it's a waste of time when you try and think too much about them when they don't even think about you.
Sorry if I'm being blunt. D:

[Azrael]

I know exactly how you feel. I always wonder if people really want me around, if they really want to hang out, and I always seem last on anyone's list if they want to hang out. It's really frustrating. And seeing friends talk about going out and hanging out and crap on facebook it's like "... I'd like... to come?" I wish I could help, but I really can't cause I have the same problem. >3< Or close to it. I have a easy time talking to people, it's really trusting them that I have a hard time with.