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Merskelly Metalien Merskelly Metalien is offline
Icy Footed
Default   #17  
I know firsthand how difficult it is to leave somebody you've stuck with for so long, and enjoyed their company, and had fond memories with once, and what it feels like. Like you're the worst person in the world for leaving them, and it's just better to stay because then no one has to get hurt except for me, and I've handled being hurt this much..It felt easier to keep them satisfied and just stay under their heel to keep them happy and treat me less hostile.

I wish I had a community of people to encourage me and comfort me when I was going through my sh*tty years with my abusive ex-friend, because I could never bring myself to let the friend group we belonged to know what she was doing to me...
TWs ahead.
(f*ckin' hell, I guess I'm sharing this..huhhhhboy..)

Old Posted 11-06-2019, 02:07 AM Reply With Quote  
Default   #18   Ava Ava is offline
Magic
X
"Well I've done crazy, couldn't you tell?
I threw stones at the stars but the whole sky fell."

---Gregory Alan Isakov
Picture drawn by itty
Last edited by Ava; 11-20-2019 at 03:10 PM.
Old Posted 11-19-2019, 01:25 AM Reply With Quote  
Espy Espy is online now
Wanderer
Default   #19  
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ava View Post
It does feel like I'm letting my friends down when I let FWB do whatever he wants to me.
Don't worry about how we feel. Concern yourself with how you feel. That's the most important thing.
Old Posted 11-19-2019, 01:48 AM Reply With Quote  
Default   #20   Merskelly Metalien Merskelly Metalien is offline
Icy Footed
Thank you Ava. <3
Truly.

I try not to let it get in the way of my daily life, but the fact is it's really kinda f*cked me up...and I can't do things other people can, with my shattered mindset and self-confidence. I mean, <:c I was abused. Mentally and physically. At such a naive age, by someone I trusted with my life. Someone I genuinely had fun with, and wanted to make smile..it's hard to still come to terms with that...

And as a result I feel like I just can't trust anyone anymore, so I keep to myself and internelize my emotional pain. Probably a big factor in my mental health. I can't even handle a light scolding anymore tbh. ^~^; I just take it way too personally and end up crying.
I felt like I was so alone though...without anyone to talk to about it, for years. <:c I knew there were people abused like me out there too. But I always assumed they have had it worse than me, and that I was just sensitive.

I'm glad at least I found the courage to share with you Ava, because I see the same sort of suffering in you I had in myself. <:( I couldn't just keep it to myself, (even though it's something personally scarring and I keep behind the curtain) not when it might help you and others who've been through or are going through the same thing...

It's going to be difficult. Probably the hardest thing in the world for me, was to continue my days like nothing was wrong, when inside, I felt like just running far away, never to return. If it's not easy to end a normal friendship, it's 10 times harder to end an abusive one. <-> I understand being hesitant to come back here Ava, it's okay. <u> So was I..
I just hope you stay safe, and that maybe a little bit from me helped you a little bit too.

Old Posted 11-19-2019, 02:46 AM Reply With Quote  
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