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Demonskid Demonskid is offline
Pocket Demon Ninja
Default   #17  
Moment

In times of need
you've shown me no greed
and when I have cried
a part of you died
when ever you saw my tears

In our past
where I'll look last
for a future of
a moment of love
that will wash away our fears

Take one moment
just a moment
and look around
our love is sound
and let out our moments cheers



(It came to me while posting in the games thread ._. Sucky Poems are sucky xD)

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Last edited by Demonskid; 11-26-2011 at 11:11 AM.
Old Posted 05-19-2011, 03:21 AM Reply With Quote  
Default   #18   Suzerain of Sheol Suzerain of Sheol is offline
Desolation Denizen
I remember my creative writing teacher giving a rant about untitled poems, but I can't recall most of what he said. I think the gist of it was that it seemed lazy and like the poet didn't care enough about the poem to bother coming up for a title. Take that for what you will, I didn't think it was as big a deal as he was making it out to be, but then, I'm not an "internationally acclaimed poet"... *rolls eyes*

Anyway, if you don't mind me commenting, I think the last line is dragging this one down. It doesn't feel balanced after the first stanza, and if you were to add in two more lines (that rhymed with each other) so it mirrored the first, I think it would read better. As it stands, the last line sort of feels like it comes out of nowhere.
Cold silence has a tendency
to atrophy any sense of compassion
between supposed lovers.
Between supposed brothers.
Old Posted 05-19-2011, 08:22 AM Reply With Quote  
Demonskid Demonskid is offline
Pocket Demon Ninja
Default   #19  
Rapture Day

I'm to sexy for your heaven
I'm to sexy for your hell
So I am going to stay on earth
With my sexy little self.

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Old Posted 05-21-2011, 01:10 PM Reply With Quote  
Default   #20   NikkoGallarado NikkoGallarado is offline
Capitan Marvelous~!
I loves your poem since I got to hear it first on skype.

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Old Posted 05-21-2011, 01:13 PM Reply With Quote  
Demonskid Demonskid is offline
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Default   #21  
Thank you nikko <3

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Old Posted 05-21-2011, 01:48 PM Reply With Quote  
Default   #22   Demonskid Demonskid is offline
Pocket Demon Ninja
Quote:
Originally Posted by Suzerain of Sheol View Post
I remember my creative writing teacher giving a rant about untitled poems, but I can't recall most of what he said. I think the gist of it was that it seemed lazy and like the poet didn't care enough about the poem to bother coming up for a title. Take that for what you will, I didn't think it was as big a deal as he was making it out to be, but then, I'm not an "internationally acclaimed poet"... *rolls eyes*

Anyway, if you don't mind me commenting, I think the last line is dragging this one down. It doesn't feel balanced after the first stanza, and if you were to add in two more lines (that rhymed with each other) so it mirrored the first, I think it would read better. As it stands, the last line sort of feels like it comes out of nowhere.
yea that poem is incomplete xD I'm still working on it (i cant believe i didn't see your post before x.x sorry)

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Old Posted 10-26-2011, 03:37 PM Reply With Quote  
Suzerain of Sheol Suzerain of Sheol is offline
Desolation Denizen
Default   #23  
DK! That post was from like the first week I joined Trisphee! Feels like forever ago, though it hasn't really been that long.
Cold silence has a tendency
to atrophy any sense of compassion
between supposed lovers.
Between supposed brothers.
Old Posted 10-26-2011, 03:47 PM Reply With Quote  
Default   #24   Demonskid Demonskid is offline
Pocket Demon Ninja
I noticed and its why I'm sorry x.x I don't post much in here unless i have insperation xD

that poem.. my muse was poking me with a stick to put it up.. then.. the muse disappeared and.. its been hanging there ._. incomplete..

Curse you Haideto! D< *stabs muse*

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Old Posted 10-26-2011, 04:34 PM Reply With Quote  
SinX_franz SinX_franz is offline
*twitch*
Default   #25  
Very nice. I like it DK, you have wjat it takes to be a famous poet. though nobody does it anymore nowadays.
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Old Posted 10-27-2011, 06:11 PM Reply With Quote  
Default   #26   Demonskid Demonskid is offline
Pocket Demon Ninja
xD I could imagine myself TRYING to get my work published and yet still starving xp

Sadly not many people like poetry anymore.. At least not enough to support a poet.



AND I finished that Poem! :D I changed the last line and added the last part finally =w= I didn't like it much xD

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Last edited by Demonskid; 11-26-2011 at 11:12 AM.
Old Posted 11-26-2011, 11:05 AM Reply With Quote  
Demonskid Demonskid is offline
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Default   #27  
Trisphee's Thanks Giving 2011

Today is the day
to come out and play
all dressed up
and feeling plump
Taddies and gravies

Mens and Ladies
Cookies and Pie
No it's not a lie

I'm surrounded by it all
And I've come to call
All to the table
eat till unable

I'm the Turkey
and I'm Flirty
Come get fat
off of my back

Legs and wings
and all other glazed things
Time to go
take my wish bone

Make your wish
and fill your dish
Sweets and Pies
Are no lie

For I am the Thanks Giving Turkey

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Old Posted 11-26-2011, 12:34 PM Reply With Quote  
Default   #28   Demonskid Demonskid is offline
Pocket Demon Ninja
Tarot

Your future is bleak
very mystic
turn the card
and look far
in to your soul
seek your goal
the spirits are with you
they'll guide you to
the place you need
to become the person you should be

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Old Posted 11-26-2011, 12:44 PM Reply With Quote  
DarkForbidden-Love DarkForbidden-Love is offline
Person, what Person?
Default   #29  
I find your Thanksgiving poem rather funny. :D Exuse my while I go snicker then comment on the other poem.

And for you tarrot Poem, it is rather a downer. But that I say "Seek your goal" at first as 'seek your gaol' and wondered why you had gone for older English and why the person was seeking a jail. O.O But other then my own reading errors I quite liked it. ;)
Puppy to Asami
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Broken Muse is my girlfriend
And Ducky is awesome!

Quote:
That is the general nature of things! An equality, a mutal need!

What? To kill and be killed? To love and to feed? That is what you support! There is no equality between the pet and the master.
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Old Posted 11-26-2011, 03:21 PM Reply With Quote  
Default   #30   Demonskid Demonskid is offline
Pocket Demon Ninja
xD Glad you enjoyed it. I dunno why I made a Thanks Giving one.. I hate Turkeys and Turkey day >o

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Old Posted 11-26-2011, 08:51 PM Reply With Quote  
Demonskid Demonskid is offline
Pocket Demon Ninja
Default   #31  
Lethargy Halloween

Halloween is coming

Halloween is here

dont worry my children

there is nothing to fear

Warlocks and Witches

Dead bodies in Ditches

Come over for candy

you'll get something dandy

this is our guild event

you'll leave tired and content


I forgot I had this one.. it was sitting on my DA xD made Oct 09

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Old Posted 07-31-2012, 08:00 PM Reply With Quote  
Default   #32   Demonskid Demonskid is offline
Pocket Demon Ninja
Mom's Birthday Poem.


Blow out your candle
and grab the handle
of the knife
and give a slice

Your Fifty Eight
now have some cake
Now your old
but here I was sold

something you love
from someone above
no longer here
but you hold him so dear

I love you Mom
now eat your damned CAKE!

Happy 58th Birthday

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Old Posted 07-31-2012, 08:05 PM Reply With Quote  
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