[DarkForbidden-Love]

I don't speak Latin but I remeber in one of my Spanish classes the teacher showing us the difference between tu and usted. Apparently when doing reports you should use the formal 'usted' instead of the informal 'tu' because you aren't familiar with the reader. The plural she did not currect us on though, we all used the informal 'vosotros' instead of the formal 'ustedes' in writing.

[Suzerain of Sheol]

That sounds like the same concept. I would have been surprised if Spanish didn't have a structure like that.

[Putterfly]

Beyond Recall is a nice one! It's like something I think I would make!

[Suzerain of Sheol]

I'm really not proud of that poem at all -- it's something I wrote in five minutes in creative writing while I was supposed to writing a poem about how I felt about leaving my classmates behind. Which, I suppose, is what it's about in a way, but the whole experience meant nothing to me, so I'm not really attached to it at all.

[DarkForbidden-Love]

"The best poetry is only written once, in one moment in time."-8th grade Lit. teacher.
She always told us that when we though out poems were bad. The funny thing was everyone though everyone's elses poem was better then their own, so there were many arguments about whose poems were worse.

[Suzerain of Sheol]

It also follows that my poems that I like the best tend to get a "meh" from everyone who reads them. :p

[Quiet Man Cometh]

I don't much like writing poems for class assignments. Only had to do it a few times though all through my education. Three precisely.

2 in English 12 mimicing the styles of Sylvia Plath in "Mushrooms" and A.E. Hausman in "Is My Team Ploughing?" and then one in second year English in college, writing a poem about the romantic poets using the "Byronic Stanza." I actually spent more time and effort on my high school poems. I forgot about the other assignment until the night before and I wrote the whole thing at 2am over maybe half an hour, blak page to finished poem. It went over well actually. I went heavy on the alliteration and assonance and accidentally used a particular poetic rhyming device (can't recall the name - using a series of small words to rhyme with a large one) which my teacher complimented me on. I'm okay with most of the poem but the last two lines bother me. Not sure if I ever got around to fixing them. It was a poem about how Coleridge may have written "Kublai Khan."

[DarkForbidden-Love]

I've had to do several for school, though my teacher had KK before me so she was used to KK's style which is much different then mine. Hers has this wierd flow that uses old English with current slang, while mine is metered and ryming all without intent.

I've always found it harder to write stuff in school then at home especially poems.

[Quiet Man Cometh]

Not sure what you mean by KK there DFL.

[DarkForbidden-Love]

Oh, KK= Kakushigo, my second cousin three times or something close to that. We met online as Deviant and Fanfiction author then met in real life at a family reunion. We look really similar and have been mistaken for the other on multiple occasion. She is good at many things including drawing and poetry. I'm kinda bad at both most of the time. We went to the same school three years apart. I wondered why people called me the wrong name all the time.

[Suzerain of Sheol]

Not very happy with this. It kind of fell apart around the middle, I think. I do like the first three stanzas, though. May go back and try re-writing it from there.

Demogorgon

I was in the void, the sum of all splendors,
abiding eternity, my kingdom in endless effigy,
in perfect preservation,
every dominion of the abyss
a rendering of singular truth.

But it was not within me to maintain my reign,
bound to myself in edification
unable to bear the dialogue of mirrors,
the internecine echoes of a sigh.
And so, with a breath, I gave birth to time.

Stepping so gently into natal existence,
comforting squalling stars in the agony of birth,
I stood amid the shattering,
looking out upon aeons turned to ice,
the sundered still-lifes of each moment of forever.

I heard the first word, not mine,
ravaging the cosmos with the glory of defiance,
and so the song began, the messages of light,
quaking my nihil realm,
begging the question of God.

For this, I watched the prince of the angels die,
impassive, the blood sliding from my hands,
and inspired by his sacrifice,
I imagined fire, the gift,
thus fashioning myself a friend of the world.

And when they built their altars,
when they swore their vows,
I had no words of comfort to give,
no atonement to offer,
no hope at all.

Yet I remain, to hear the screams,
to wander the streets and step upon bones,
to usher the sun to its sepulcher
while the mourners are as helpless
as I have always known them to be.

And I shall be there, when my child dies,
in reunion with nothingness,
awaiting a return to myself,
and considering this, I reflect:
that nothing has changed.

[DarkForbidden-Love]

I liek this new one. It is emotional and detacted at the same time you try to capture the human and the nothing together is great.

[Suzerain of Sheol]

Well, I suppose that was the intention. It's obviously not literally about Demogorgon the Demiurge/Sovereign of Night/etc, but rather about the nature of change, how the only change from change itself can be a return to stagnation and the death of change. Blah, I still don't think it came out very well. :p

[DarkForbidden-Love]

To each his own. It is one of my favorites of yours, you don't have to like it. What is considered to be Beethoven's greatest work was actually hated by Beethoven himself.:p

[Suzerain of Sheol]

Didn't we establish above I have an inverse liking-relationship with my poems compared to other people? :p

I am glad you like it, though, thank you. And I appreciate you reading and commenting.

[Quiet Man Cometh]

I like it, but you're right, there's some glitchyness about the middle, I'd say at the end of the fourth stanza. There are bits and pieces that I think could be editted out, and it's more those pieces that are causing the issues I think, rather than anying important being missing. I feel the poem is all there but has some loose threads that need trimming. :)

And being someone who often edits her poems three or four times over, writing evry rendition down, I say have at it. :D