[Mizeria]

Originally Posted by Helsinki Harlot

Mizzie; I still think it's adorable.

And maybe he doesn't know how to make you understand that it already does mean a lot to him? Like he's just socially inept in that area? xD;

-is super excited to hear more developments-

I dunno Hels, I mean... with the way other girls are all over him... and the way he's all over some of them.
I just don't think he cares about it.
At all. I think he's horny and thought I'd be an easy fuck.

Then I wasn't.

Now, I dunno what to think. If he would just man the fuck up and TRY for something more... maybe it would work. It would at least get him closer to the sex he wants...

[Helsinki Harlot]

Cleaning my room up, laptop is functioning, now just to make sure my tablet works and I'm back on track.

Mizzie; I still feel like that's a part of his job. Maybe go out to coffee with him or something once and see what he's like. Or maybe he's just naturally like that.

And he's still sort of flirting and being nice, tho' if all these girls act like that maybe he just doesn't know how to handle you.

I'd have to see you two interact to be sure tho'.

[Mizeria]

yeah maybe you're right...
and I've never gone anywhere with him outside of work. I always leave before he does. Cause... well. if he gets off of work and asks me to go somewhere with him I probably would and then I wouldn't get sleep for work. annnd I might end up saying yes. Because after a while I might just say yes... since I want it anyways.

theres only so much I can fight it.

When he's working I'll always be able to. I always have a rational excuse to say no. in my mind. that he doesn't realize.

-still wishes you were closer-

hmm... wanna come visit? xDD

I honestly don't care how much he flirts. As weird as that is for me to say. Yeah, I'll get jealous... but like...
after he walks away from whoever it is. he looks at me and rolls his eyes, and all I can do is laugh.

So I mean, maybe its just him trying to get good tips... maybe its not.
-shrugs-

Men confuse me/

[Helsinki Harlot]

I'm very casual about sex so that what if scenario would just be fantastic for me. xD Haha.

I'd love to come visit. Haha, but I don't exactly have a car to take a road trip with.

Well now that sounds like a you're special type of thing right there. ;] <3

Lol, people are confusing. I've been with and around enough women to find that both genders just really have no clue what they're doing sometimes.

[Mizeria]

Oh I agree, neither gender knows what they are doing... but I only have to deal with men, normally.
Though I'm already claimed if I were ever to want to try dating a woman.
=.=;;

MAAAYBE I has money to out you on a plane and fly you to me
lol

//or will.. in a couple of weeks. possibly.//

I guess that is something.. but I mean, then he won't talk to me until theres no one around. He basically ignores me being there. I'm gonna have to start getting my own drinks. Cause One every.. two hours. Isn't cutting it for me.

I wish I could be more casual about sex... but I can't.
I've tried before. and it wrecked something that coulda been really good.

[Helsinki Harlot]

Women aren't much better. xD I've found that I def. prefer men. Don't think I could seriously date another woman.

That's so expensive tho'! lol I have heard great things about Colorado tho'.

Haha, oh? You intending on winning the lottery? Killing off a cousin for an inheritance or something? lol

Is it usually busy during that time? Or? Or maybe he's shy, but haha, next time when you get a drink just ask him if he could come in a little bit 'cause you'll probably want another one. xD

I'm more comfortable with it that way. If it doesn't mean a lot then it can't hurt me a lot. xD Emotional sex is weird for me. Tho' I guess it's only happened a few times with my ex so there's that, and this one guy. It wasn't romantic, it never is going to be, but it was sweet. One of the best two/three days of my life. xD Most of my experiences have been one night stands or a few night stands over a long hiatus in between.

[Mizeria]

women are to much DRAMA
=.=

not as expensive as one thinks.
and I have a good paying job
lol

14.60 an hour. 40 hours a week.
^^;

he used to be right on top of it for me
but then again I used to only be there for like MAYBE 2 hours. and now I'm there all night.
He knows I'm a coke addict. //coke-cola
I can finish one off in 5 minutes.
I'm TRYING to be better about that and drink water... but he's so used to coke every time I ask for WATER he looks at me sorta funny.

I'm a girl of long relationships.
the short ones ended because of the guy not because of me,
the shortest relationship that I ended I ended because the guy moved to fast for me...
it was like a couple months... maybe 3?

with my past.. and my family.
it has to mean something more.
and like, its one of the reasons I don't deal well with drunks.
cause some of the men in my family, get... hands-y
I spent one summer of my childhood locked in a basement cause I was scared shitless of my uncle when he drank.
and I was in there house. HOURS from home...
in a different state completely.

I don't see myself ever having one night stands.

[Helsinki Harlot]

Agreed. xD

Well damn. Nicely done there then. Haha. The most I've ever made was about 7.25$ and they never had enough hours for me. xD

Haha, I generally don't drink soda unless I'm drinking drinking. I love water. xD; My mom thought I had a disease because I love water.

I've only had two big relationships, one long distance and the guy cheated on me with my best friend and then went back and forth between telling me he really did love me and that he was just doing it to see how much he could get out of me. The second one was with my ex-girlfriend and we're still friends but lordy that one was bumpy. No one's ever asked me out other than that. The only real date I've been on was last December, at the ripe age of 21, and he only did it to get to my ex-roommate. :D So yay?

I can sort of relate to that but it's not something I'd like to talk about, I get it tho'. Shitty men are shitty. I've had my fair share of creepy drunk men. First time I went to a bar in the states I was going to the bathroom and this guy just grabbed me and tried to hold onto my shirts. By the time I got out of the bathroom after taking off the guy wasn't there and there was a cop standing where he was.

Or this one night we were at a convention and having a good time when this guy comes up behind me, grabs my hips and starts grinding his dick against my ass and when I flip out and try and move away he keeps following. I was lucky and one of my male friends was next to me and took care of that situation.

And I had a stalker for the longest time who told me I was playing hard to get when I just about slapped him for trying to kiss me.

I guess I trust one night stands more, that's got a lot to do with my ex's tho'. (Other than that first true love that cheated on me I was sort of with a guy who then told me that he'd only been with me because he was lonely and needed someone around and then dropped me out of his life. xD; )

[Mizeria]

its my first job ever. I've held it for over 2 years now, and I started at 11 an hour.

I hate water. it just tastes funny because of all the other crap I've always had to drink.

well my first real relationship last a year and a half and that was in high school.
then I was pretty much single for 3 years.
[a couple of, hey lets go out, and then me getting dumped a week later so I don't really count them since we only went out like, once. and one on again off again long distance thing... but that never really went anywhere. we just talked a lot. and then would stop talking. more friends then anything else]

then another 6 months with my high school sweetheart. and then we broke up. again

the 3ish months with the guy that moved to fast and fucked up his chances for life.

another 6 months with my high school sweetheart.

2 weeks of being single.

about 6 months with my high school sweetheart.

a week with my best friend, of 8 years, with him breakin up with me cause it was just to awkward, and he doesn't want to lose me. So lets just go back to "normal".... and he hasn't been talking to me since. not really.

and now.. I'm single.
with 3 exs after me.
tony being.. um.. difficult
and my sanity slowly slipping away.

I tend to stay away from situations that could put me in those positions.
I could handle myself. don't get me wrong.
but it makes me uncomfortable.

and I like to know who I'm with... before I'm with them.
I dunno... makes it easier on me to relax.
I'm not a good lookin gal.
I hate how i am, and how i look.
with all the issues I have... I don't think I would be able to enjoy the one night stands. I would just freak out during them and end up getting laughed at...

[Helsinki Harlot]

Wow. That's really impressive for your first job. What do you do?

The longest job I've held was about 2 years. Kinda miss it. I was a secretary at a hair salon. <3

Every so often I wish I'd had chances for more relationships or anything. Hell, I'd take two weeks and then it not working out for none at all. I don't know why people don't ask me out or show interest in me that way.

Tho' I have sort of a clue nowadays, according to some of my friends I've asked I'm intimidating. xD This awesome friend I have, his name's Sly, had a convo about that with me one night about looks and how people appear. (There was a drunk racist fuck at a party we were at shit talking muslims and that's my family heritage. My mom was born and raised in Egypt.) But I don't look arabic or anything like that. So we started talking about that and he told he was glad we met the way we did because apparently the census among the people I've met is that they're scared to come up to me because I just seem like this cool, bad ass tattoo'd chick who would think them un-funny or un-cool.

Hell, this guy I was with one night in the middle of sex while we were trying to get going was apologizing for something rather and he told me "I don't know why but you make me nervous."

>.< I JUST WANT PEOPLE TO SHOW INTEREST IN ME!

And I've taken martial arts and if a friend of mine was in trouble I'd beat some ass, but when it comes to me I just freeze up.

Oh hush I'm sure you look fine. And I can understand that side of it too. :3

[Mizeria]

I work for the post office.
^^

maybe you should try showing interest in someone?
or is there no one you like?

"I just seem like this cool, bad ass tattoo'd chick who would think them un-funny or un-cool. "

I'm intimidating as well. and minus the tattoo part, people think the same of me. unless they see a different side of me
cause I have a soft spot for.. the "unwanted? " the "fucked up" idk whatever you wanna call it.
when people have a problem. I'm the first one there. pulling them out of the dark. and keeping them sane, stable, and alive.
or I'm the one that just listens to everyones shit. and helps them through whatever. break-ups. losses. addictions. abusive situations.
I'm the go to.

and then guys start to fall for me.
cause they see that side.
and not the hard outer shell.
but they also don't see my broken self. the one I hide... really really well.

so that tends to mess things up...
a lot.

people should show interest in you.
you're fucking awesome.

[Obbiesan]

*peeks in* o-o evening mizzy and harley ^^

[Helsinki Harlot]

o: Well bang up job on that. :3

There's no one I have around that I've really gotten interested in. Last time I felt that spark was... 3 years ago, well, it happened before that but end of july this year will be 3 years since his death.

And I never innitate anything. >.< I come off as confident and like I got my shit together but I just about qualify for social anxiety disorder. I self-medicate with other shit so I don't really take pills or anything. People make me nervous.

All of a sudden I really crave a boy toy.

That and when it comes to sex I've had to start being more careful, I've got a few nasty areas of scars that would put most people off of my body.

Yeah, I'm the same way. It's what gets me in trouble with these stalker type situations. I just can't turn away from people.

Aaaw thanks. <333 Making me blush. You're pretty snazzy yourself there.

Obbie; Evening luv. :3 How are you?

[Mizeria]

hey obbie, just a heads up. if you read anything i've posted. don't take offense. none of its aimed at you... I just know I can be 'harsh' with words sometimes... and I dunno all that i wrote..


Hels;

Thanks

I'm so sorry... I didn't realize..

" I come off as confident and like I got my shit together but I just about qualify for social anxiety disorder. I self-medicate with other shit so I don't really take pills or anything. People make me nervous. "

I think I just come off as cold and closed off, instead of Confident.

-giggles-
a boy toy?

scars from what if I may ask?

I can't turn people away either... and then they get mad when I'm to busy for them. cause I have a pretty busy life.. sadly
cause i really don't do anything.

and I mean it Hels, you are truly awesome and amazing. You deserve the best the world has. I hope someone sees that one day and give yous the world.

[Obbiesan]

@Mizzy Its fine i dont take offense to anything im ok to own up to my mistakes >_>

@harley not much just wanting chocolate

[Helsinki Harlot]

Will type out full response in a second. Moving laptop to kitchen to start cooking.