[Glass Heart]

Dear Diary,
I sometimes wonder why things happen odd in my dreams, had a reoccurring dream, would go over to this nice old man's house he had a bunch of dogs I'd help him take care of and we would sit down and talk over a cup of milk and cookies...
but this time when I was there something was really wrong... I wonder why he wasn't there, I got the impression that he died... hmm weird...
only reason I've really thought about it is I've had dreams before and some of them came close to true...
hmm odd dream...

[Belial]

Dear Diary

Sometimes I wish my attic room had central air. . . .

B

[Poggio]

Dear Stephanie.

I just don't have the heart to tell you I am just fucking tired of bitchy customers. That would be why I would want to be moved to replenishment. u.u I am sorry I am good at the front but man for every one customer that is pleasant to deal with I get 10 bitchy ones for things that are not my fault. I get entitled people that assume that I am an uneducated cashier that has nothing more then a high school diploma and graduated with a C average. I get people that are set in their ways and because of my skin will be very uppity and snippy no matter how nice I am. I know Tanya said they don't but I feel like these are the people that dictate my pay raise. I have watched Mo and others check out people, I do the same thing as they do and yet their scores are always higher then mine. Hell even when Mo is bitchy as fuck or I am very angry at a person I am still nice. It drives me insane these people let one little thing ruin their day. They can't just be happy to be breathing. I wish dearly that I could have gotten a job at the library, happily showing others were the wealth of knowledge is but I am a cashier at Michaels. I will never get anything better then part time and I am too damn nice to complain about the only job some one gave me a chance on, that is the truth.

Edit: I've also told you the truth before you didnt believe me. I really do hate dealing with people, crowds make me nervous and I get very anxious unless I am comfortable.

Love Pogs.

[Meizicht]

Dear people in countries other than the US,

Please stop acting like you know what is going on in the US. Please stop bashing those of us who cannot stand Obama. You do not live here. You have not lived here for the past few years. You were not born and raised here, you were not here to experience the job loss, the struggle it is to maintain a lifestyle now, you were not here to compare now to then. You keep spreading this Obama praise around everywhere, but you're being insensitive to the majority of the country who cannot find jobs, who're watching their towns fall apart because companies keep leaving, those who just can't take it anymore but have to keep struggling because nobody is thinking about them. You have not seen what it is like now compared to before. Just because Obama came out in favor for equal marriage rights does not mean he is good for our country. Speaking as someone who falls under the LGBT "category", I can tell you I don't care about marriage when I cannot go to college, I cannot find a job, my family is struggling to stay afloat and the already dwindling jobs continue to leave and leave, while the only notable thing Obama has done recently, is stuff a new medical tax down our throats which the majority cannot afford. ( I know I'm personally going to be screwed. )
I'm tired of seeing people in Europe especially saying crap like "Obama better get reelected", "I'm in Greece and I'm terrified if Romney gets elected" - YOU DO NOT LIVE HERE. BUTT OUT.

Come spend at least 4 years living in southwestern Ohio ( And I don't mean places like Cincinnati or Columbus; I'm talking about towns like mine ). Try it, I dare you.

In the UK, you guys get college practically free compared to us. We have to pay OUT THE ASS to even have HOPES of going to a good college, and after graduating, you're in debt for decades, busting your ass trying to pay it all off. Most students cannot. Most students will not even get a job after graduating a 4-year college. They're lucky if they're flipping burgers at a fast food joint. So don't act like you know. You don't understand fully until you're here. You have not seen what Obama has NOT done.

While he's off renovating the White House, people are losing their houses, their jobs, their education, their way of lives. And all he has to do to win people back is come on tv and say "I believe in gay marriage"? Don't insult those of us trying to make a living here. We need jobs more than people need to get married, I don't care what anyone says.

I cannot express enough that people who do not live here do not know. You don't. Your tv, the internet, everything; NONE OF IT. You don't know. You have to live here for years to get it. I've seen 21 years of it - this is not a question of age, please don't tell me "oh you're young, you don't know anything" because I know enough to tell you it is not sunshine and peaches - and ever since Obama was elected, we've been royally screwed.

In my personal experience, I live in a good ol' American town that used to do just fine in the 90s/early 2000s, but as soon as Obama was elected... You can just tell by looking at our schools. Everything is being cut. Jobs keep leaving every year. I've seen my friends, who've gone to college, be turned down day after day after day, despite their college degrees, because NOBODY IS HIRING. My warm little town is falling apart, and it makes me so sad to see it.

So tell me, while the regular American town is collapsing, what is Obama doing? It's not even crossing his mind. His ads say he's restored the auto plants in 80 Ohio counties; I live here and that's a blatant lie. GM dropped everything and ran, and never came back, and with it, collapsed all the little businesses that relied on it to continue. He doesn't give a shit. You tell me how that's good.

So hey. Pardon me if I get pissed when someone outside the country preaches to me about how good Obama is. That is a slap in my face and the faces of people in this situation. You don't even know.

I'm not praising Romney at all ( they're both ridiculous and evil ) but stop this shit. Think about it for yourself more. You're being inconsiderate.

Just like how I don't know what it's like to live in poverty in Africa; I'm not going to pretend I know what their system of living is like there when it could be way worse than we see. Just like how I do not pretend to know what your political figures in the UK or France or whatever have done, I will not tell you who you should or should not vote for. I do not know what it is like anywhere but the US. You do not know what it's like here if you haven't lived here.

Get my point? If you don't then you're part of the flock herded by the ads they throw up on television, trying to impose a preset opinion on others. Stop it.



Sincerely, a person who used to have a bright future before all this shit happened.

[Belial]

Dear Diary

Why do I have parents that let things go until the very last minute? The wood is rotting above the porch and one board fell.

The dining room chairs has foam so old it's turning into powder.

The fridge has several items with mold but I get "yelled" at for throwing them out as if I was ten years old. ("It's still good and we don't have the money to buy more. just cut the mold part off")

I am one person, I cannot do it all much as I would like to. The more you let things go the more expensive they WILL get to fix them.


@Meiz, doesn't Obama help fund a group known for killing LGBTA?

[NikkoGallarado]

Dear Awesome Job,
I really need you and I really, really want you to hire me. I sat at 45min interview to want to work with you I really want you hire me and I really want you to give me this job so please please, help me out here I need to so badly right now. . . .

Sign, Nikko the ever hopeful.

I am the manry-est of men!

[The Mule]

Dear myself,

No, it is not just fine to be whoever you are. It is not fine for you to be a manipulative piece of shit. Guilt tripping, sarcasm, demeaning others, being a general asshole; it is not okay. You are an abusive stain. It is not okay to be you when you are a waste of human matter. Breathing this air is in itself, selfish for you. You acknowledge that you are nothing but a screwed up piece of shit, but you don't try hard enough to change. You just want someone to tell you it's okay to be you, but it's not, you fucking piece of crap. It's a lie for people to like you or love you; they don't know how you think. How you piss about to get your way. Spoiled rotten, snobbyass fucktard that you are, you always get your way. Freeloading lazy pissant. You can't be fixed. You should just go up in smoke. If only there was a goddamn button somewhere to make it as if you never existed in the first place. You should never hesitate if you come across one. Just do everyone a favor; delete your stupid, petty, slobby, disgusting, abusive, manipulative, idiotic, know it all piece of shit ass from the world. Everyone will finally see what you are when you do that, and then they'll hate you like they rightfully should. You shouldn't even be writing this; it should all just stay pent up inside until you explode; maybe that'll kick your ass into doing it finally. It's right to hate it when people compliment you; it's all false. You're pulling the wool over their eyes. There should be a fucking disclaimer on your forehead saying "Warning: Do not talk to this piece of shit." It is not right for you to be happy. Never be happy. You don't ever deserve it. Since you can't seem to cut the mess in your head and just be another person. Idk why you even think someone would tell you it's okay to be you. You just don't want to get the punishment you deserve. Well too bad. Hopefully someday you'll get the guts to do it. Either turn into someone else or snuff yourself out for good. Anything to get rid of you.

Sincerely, myself.

[Serah]

Dear ~,

Since I was a teen you have been making me feel like it was a mistake keeping me. You've said hurtful things to me and I have tried to tell myself it isn't true. The more it starts to sink in that maybe you were right. As the biggest person in my life I honestly feel like I cannot talk to you about my problems. Whenever you ask me how I am I just say I'm fine because I learned you don't care. She doesn't live here anymore and you still support her, you don't support me or help me. I try to just casual chit-chat with you and you tell me you don't care. I started seeing someone partly because of you. As I laid in the tub tears down my eyes, I couldn't help but think how you would react if I just slipped away. You tell people we don't talk but we live in the same house. I can't even talk to my other care giver because you make me out to be a terrible person. I wear a mask and say I'm okay because you wouldn't understand anyways.


You who claims you know me, you never have. Time says a lot but so do actions. Your actions speak loud and clear: Nothing. I opened myself to you, made myself vulnerable and you shot me down. You tell me you miss me and that you love me but you never talk to me. You can't even make the time of day for me. You make excuses for yourself instead of just admitting that you're wrong. You make me feel like everything is my fault when I didn't do anything to you but be there. I try to get you to realize what is going on, I even admit to my faults, but you pin it on me. You make me cry and feel worthless as a person and I still care for you. All you ever think of is yourself though. You've been nothing but selfish and can't even admit it. Do you know how much I want to tell you how you've hurt me? But every time I try, you close your eyes and cover your ears. But why do I care for you, why don't I just give up? You certainly don't mind what happens to me.


I take pills at night just to sleep or I'll cry until I pass out. I hide so I don't hurt anyone, I face it alone so you all don't struggle. I shake at night, I have nightmares, I panic. I pretend I'm okay as I dig my nails deeper and deeper into my skin. You tell me you have no friends but you abuse the only one who will be there for you. You belittle me and insult my opinions and feelings. Anyone who questions you obviously hates you. How can you be so immature? If you knew what happened to me three years ago, would you feel different? Would you actually feel terrible for what you said? You leech and mooch like a parasite and it's sick. You turn around and act all high and mighty after leeching off others. That is how I see you, as a parasite. No matter how much help you get, it's not enough, you glutton. The worst part is you lie about me and everyone believes you. You made me out to be a monster when all I did was love you. Did you enjoy it? That's why I'm ignoring you. Most people want to be independent but you could care less being spoon fed. It's pretty sickening to me. Every time I tell you the truth though, I'm yelled at by those around me.

If you could hear me. If only you could hear me...

Serah

[Asami]

Dear diary,

I know thinking about the past hurts but sometimes its a good thing. Think of how much you have changed and the good things. Don't just focus on the bad. Having certain people contact you after so long brings a flood of memories. Most good. But you've changed a lot since they last talked to you. Maybe you feel like you want to reconnect with them because it brings back great memories. Happy times. Times where you didn't have a care in the world. But will these people still like you? Probably not. You are such a different person. Stronger. Tougher. You have gone through more shit. Hell you even stuck up to the person you feared the most next to your mom. I know a part of you wants to go back in time but you need to focus on the future. Talking to old friends that honestly should just stay old friends wont bring back the carefree times. It wont bring back lost and dead feelings. Finding old notes is fun but they are old for a reason and yes reading some brings tears but maybe just throw them away.. they weren't meant to be kept stashed away to be found years later. You need to stop clinging to old memories.

Love yourself

(This probably wasn't very flowy x'D I just wrote and didn't stop to think at all)

[Pandora Vex]

Dear Diary,

It's been a rough year without my best friend. She was the mom I wish I had. I do love my actual mother, but from my "adoptive" mom, I got the support I always craved as a child. A lot of sad things have happened, and I've felt so disconnected from everyone, except another old best friend.

I've felt like the whole world, turned a shade of grey.

But despite this, I'm still standing here. And I'm still kicking. Sometimes I feel I'm crawling, than walking. But as long as I'm inching forward, I'm okay.

I'm finally settling down, and getting over the old abuse. And despite feeling tired, and a little discouraged. I still have the strength to grin and bare it. Cause despite how shitty the world can get, hey! It ain't all shitty.

You may not be here with me, my dear best friend. But I know you are out there. And thanks to you I've got hope. Even if we never see each other again. You were important enough that you impacted my life! And the memory will always be there.

I'm striving forward, and no matter how hard or hopeless it seems. I know! Without a doubt! That I can get back up!

So thanks for that. :3 My dear friend.

Tiredly, yours. Your girly girl. n_n <3

[Belial]

Dear Diary

Not sure how much longer I can stay here and exist.
I know the economy is in the shitter but I would really like to have some success for once, just to even see what it's like. To be able to get my own place, have peace and quiet and not have to walk on eggshells to avoid a man who should know better to scream in my face.

The weirdest things set him off.

And I just heard my grandmother, who is going blind, threw a mug at my grandfathers face. Is everyone in my family unable to control themselves?

B

[Ginger]

Dear Diary,

Close to what Belial said.

Just please PLEASE get the divorce. Will be the smartest thing you've done in the last 11 years besides start college.

Please.

[Asami]

Dear diary,

OH MY GOD! TV SHOWS DO NOT! MATTER!!! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS! SERIOUSLY?
Ughdnfbekeke you make me feel like shit because I'm trying to HELP fix the recordings for you BECAUSE YOURE TOO STUPID TO DO IT YOURSELF
oh well if you fucking miss your fucking show. Guess what?! In two days it will be on the fucking Internet!
Oh my fucking god. You guys are so fucking stupid. :/
you care more about a fucking show then your own damn kids.
Fuck you. I hate you both.

-your 'worthless' daughter

[hyjin]

dear dairy,
My brain is trying to foretell something that will happen very soon... not too sure what it is, but from the looks of it it might not be good... keeping a notebook on everything that its trying to show me now to hopefully stop what ever is going to happen... need to find out soon for i am afraid of the outcome of that night... exact day is not known yet...
Sincerely,
Self

[Ginger]

Dear Diary,

My 21st birthday is in 17 days. I don't want to do anything for it. I'd like to be alone on that day, but of course, I'm going to get shit for wanting it to be that way. That is the only thing I want for my birthday, every year. That's how I've wanted it the last 6 years. I especially don't want any gifts, or a "birthday celebration" that no one even comes to anyway. I'm going to buy myself a few things from the thrift store and decorate my own cupcakes at home, assuming we have vegetable oil and food coloring by then. Just please let me spend it by myself. I hate getting the unnecessary attention, and inviting people that never show up. I can't handle the disappointment this year. May my birthday wish come true this time, hopefully?

I must be odd. Everyone else I know talks about their birthday non-stop for a week until it is actually their birthday, and then they flail their arms jumping up and down, screaming "HEY GUESS WHAT?! IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TODAY!" ...What was that? I didn't catch it the first 100 times you preached it. The good word is out my friend, now shut your damn mouth and go eat some cake.

Miranda.

[NikkoGallarado]

Dear --,

You have started to suck the fun out of what I enjoy doing here on site and it bothers me and now I feel like I should leave again cause this is pointless and your just becoming a nazi in away. Really you are, your sucking all the fun out of EVERYTHING I LIKE ABOUT THIS SITE!

Please stop it, just stop it. The world is the world. . . .get over it and stop it. . .

sign

Nikko trying hard not to rage.

I am the manry-est of men!