[Natsunaine]

Oh okay that makes more sensee! OH Gal be a critic and judge my siggy poem for me ? :3

[foxotanashi]

Phew, finally done changeing my avi.

[Gallagher]

Mm... The theme is good, the rhyme scheme a bit predictable and unfitting with it though, and using the same words for your Bs is a little cheap with one that short.

[Natsunaine]

OMG foxo it is gorgeous :D

[Natsunaine]

Ah darn must work on it then x_X.. I will make a poem that gal approves of this i swear XD

[foxotanashi]

Natsu, aw thanks :3

I'm not really into poetry, so I can't help :p

[Gallagher]

The short long short - - - long short long visual that the lines have is rather nice. I don't know if it was done on purpose, but I'd keep it.

I like the foxy's outfit as well.

[foxotanashi]

I've always liked Trisphee's layering system.
It makes making an avatar easier.

[Gallagher]

I like the higher standards it gives for truly spectacular avatars. Other sites, no one would take notice if there was a slight lack of color at, say, your arms or legs. Things like getting the right expression don't matter quite so much.

[foxotanashi]

And if they do notice the slight colors off, its like....
What am I suppossseeee to do?! Cause it often makes you take off another item and stuff.

[Natsunaine]

Originally Posted by Gallagher

The short long short - - - long short long visual that the lines have is rather nice. I don't know if it was done on purpose, but I'd keep it..

It actually was done on purpose and what word were you talking about in my b's?

[Gallagher]

Exactly! Here, there's no excuses, and you can learn so many tricks from everyone else.

I mean your rhyme scheme Bs. Your poem goes:

A
A
B

C
C
B

[Natsunaine]

OH You mean the word mine.. i was trying to figure what word you were trying to point out.. I know i need to fix it.. it was going to be

A
A
B

C
C
D

but it didn't work out the way i planned..

[Gallagher]

I'm honestly not a fan of matching lines right next to each other with themes like this. It distracts from the feeling. Most rhyme does, really, but it should at least be separated more. Maybe try ABA CDC? Or something, I don't know.

The trouble with poems is that they have to be really spectacular to stand out.

[Natsunaine]

Ill try it that way, i just felt it went good that way.. I was wrong though so, oh well just gives me room to learn :).. Although ive been writing for years.. I have never had anyone help me out with writing so i hope you don't mind me asking you to look it over and what not..

[Gallagher]

I know what you mean. Having someone to compare notes with makes such a difference, it's amazing.

I mean, as nice as it is to hear your stuff is great, that never really helps anyone get better.