[DoubleBarrel]

To: Self
You know what? you just need to slow down and just chilll. for a sec. don't worry about what people think about you or how you did on that test or what you're going to do next semester if you don't find a job. Just chill out and relax. The semester's almost over and you'll see your family.
Sincerely: tired, overworked body and mind

[Obbiesan]

dear self

stop worrying you are doing fine just listen to the person saying it and trust them cause if you dont you will push them away you are changing little by little for the better and hell trust in yourself cause you are awesome and need to open up to others more and show them you are a good person who can be some on they want to be friends with

sincerely a stress, depressed, and worried obbie

[yewberry]

Dear Diary,

I'm tired, and i've been tired for a long, long time. Not sad, not happy, not angry. Just simply tired. I long for someone to bite and cut and love. My obscure vision of love costs me proper socialization. I suppose i've never had a good grip on socialization anyway. I love and hate people, i love them for their laugh, or their ambition, or their sense of humour. And i hate them for that. I hate loving absolutely everyone i know. My ears throb and my eyelids droop. I can't do this much longer. Eventually, i know i'm going to break. Whether it's pills or loss of blood or sleep deprivation, i don't care. I want it. I want to sleep and never wake up, there's still so much for me to dream.

[Kali_Namir]

Dear One Who Always Makes Me Smile,

Thank you greatly for providing me with proof that I am lovable. Thank you for dealing with me when I say or do something remotely stupid. Thank you for being there when I need cuddles or when I just plain don't want to deal with people. Thank you for being my reason to smile and my reason to laugh. I thank you with all my heart for showing me that no matter what face I see in the mirror, you see the me that I should strive to be. I want to thank you for giving me reason to do my best and be the best that I can be, even if it came a little late for this semester. I must thank you as well for being as amazingly awesome as you could possibly be. So thank you Love, I owe you my sanity and my happiness...

Love you,
Me!

[Bre-berry]

Dear Diary.

Ive been so stressed lately, worrying over things that dont mean anything. But still worrying not the less. Because of the stress my eyes have been having uncontrolable twitches and having hiccups multipule times in one day. Its hightly annoying at work, which is one stress factor in its own. I know im good at what i do, and my coworking and manager tell me i am great. But i still worry every day that im going to lose my job and its so hard to get another one in this economy. Another part of my stress is coming from final grades that will be coming out, i just want to pass everything so i can be done quicker and get out of here. And finally my relationship...not only with the guy i like but everyone else. Again like work, i am afraid one day he'll walk up to me and tell me he had made a big mistake with being with me. Now my relatonship with my friends dont help this factor at all. the one friend i cared acout the most was against this relationship the most. with not having my friends support, its make me worry able even talking about him. while she goes on and on about her boyfriend. I stay quiet, when all i want to do it shout from the roof tops that im so happy being with him and prove it to the world. Im getting torn up inside because i can express what i want. because people will just get mad at me. Some times i think itd just be easier if i disappeared without telling anyone. I have the car..i have the money...i have gps. it sounds so easier but yet so hard.

From..A Nobody

[Kali_Namir]

Dear Self...

I know it may seem like the end of the world sometimes, but just remember it could be worse. Currently you've got the sweetest boyfriend ever, the best friends in the world, and a place you really do call home. Even if you're stuck in what is sometimes a hell hole, you've only got about two weeks and then it's back home to the people who care and love you...So hang in there, even when the walls start crashing in...

Sincerely Me

[_LOST_]

Dear Me,
Dont freak out,Christmas is coming and you have everyone covered. Even though your fathers side hates you mothers side ,and you may be cut in halve to make it to bothparties, dont worry. Remember your getting that punching bag for a reason(hope it gets here soon).
GOOD LUCK.
_LOST_
(extreamly lost)

[Cyanide Lollipop]

Dear cold,

FUCK OFF. I don't want to be sick on Christmas. ;-; I hate being sick at all but seriously. On Christmas. q_q

[Kali_Namir]

Dear Me...

CHILL OUT!!!...This time next week you'll be home and enjoying the company of the most adorably sweet guy ever. I know right now the family is starting to fall apart thanks to your sister hitting that rebellious almost 18 stage, but that is no reason to go back to that horrid dark place. You have people who care and will help you through it. As for your sister, she can go do whatever she wants, it doesn't involve you so there...

Sincerely,
The one who just wants to be around her friends...


Hey You!,

Calm down...calm down...I know it's hard right now and your stupid phobia of being alone is starting to get to you, but really...calm down...
I know right now you're feeling very much alone, if only because in all physicality you really are alone. I know it's hard to remember what not being alone feels like right now, but that's just because the phobia is kicking in. I know you think it's not fair that it seems as though everyone else gets to be happy on New Years and you're probably gonna be stuck with your family, absolutely miserable, having to put on a happy face, and wishing you were somewhere else. I also know though that if he could you'd be there with him, but he can't deal with it...this time next week you'll be home and all will be right in your head. But I know it's really hard right now because you can't help but feel alone and lost and upset. I know it's hard to watch your family fall apart from the inside and I know it feels like the end of the world that nothing is as it used to be. I know that used to, you could go to your house and actually feel as though it were home, but not anymore. Now it feels more a prison that keeps you from the things that make you truly happy, and the people that really care. I know it's hard to know that the one place that feels like Home is 3 hours to the west and the one person that can always make you smile is 2 hours to the southeast and not being able to see either of them. I know this is gonna be the hardest week for you simply because you only have one week before you are truly happy and smiling again. I also know this week is gonna be hard thanks to your sister deciding it was time she rebelled and questioned all authority. I know this is the worst time to have a break down, when no one is around or available to help walk you through it and keep you from doing something stupid, but you mustn't. You must be strong and hope that simply writing this all out to yourself and then posting it to get it out with help. You must be strong and know that it would upset him to know that you allowed him to believe you were okay only to do something you'll regret later. So don't do it, don't seek what you want to seek right now. Simply find something to keep your mind off your loneliness.
Stay calm and think positive. Be strong and enjoy the peace.

Sincerely,
The voice inside your head...

[Tiva]

Dear Dad,
I you could be here for all of the important things you are missing, but I know you are with me. Sorry for not visiting yesterday, I kind of forgot... A first for me huh?
I love and miss you
Devon

[Alpha]

Dear self,
Way to forget about what day it was not two days ago for someone very special to you and not being there for them. Just add it to the list of shortcomings. Already a mile long, what does one more matter? When she reads this she will likely say something to you about it, but meh, it is how you feel.

You need to try and let go of that list you have though, at least a lot of it since most of it was put there by your dad and stepmom, both of whom you could never quite do right by unless it was exactly their way. Never mind that they left you with a number of mental scars, such as always feeling the need to apologize since it doesn't seem like anything you do could ever be right or good enough. The physical marks (as few as they were and as long as they lasted) were nothing compared to that little constant reminder in the back of your head. I don't even know why I bother typing this, but whatever. You are done with them, and never have to deal with that again. Enjoy what you have now and make sure that you take care of the ones you truly love and cherish.

Sincerely,
The Voice in the Back of Your Head

[Poggio]

Dear Mom,

There is a reason why I have not visited you. It was not work. You can not take care of your kids, you can not take care of yourself and I will not watch you drown in bottles of Merlot slowly committing suicide. You are unaware just how much psychological damage you have actually done to your children. You are suppose to be the provider, not a thief, not a pathological liar, you don't deserve my trust. Certainly not my love. I don't speak much, my self esteem is all but non existent. However I will smack the shit out you. I am sick of you hurting my father. You left us, how dear you have the gal to come back. None of your children want you back.

Dear Father,

There are some things faith can not fix. Go find yourself a woman that goes to church and listen to your fucking kids once and a while. Even the one that isnt biologically yours cares more about you then that woman. And you always seem to help her. This isn't love.

Dear New year:

You aren't turning out so good. At least let me have another job by my birthday.

Dear Ice cream: While I enjoy spoiling myself you were a bad idea.

[NikkoGallarado]

Dear ---,

Some times I feel you are lair. . . .you tell me things and promise me something and I wait. But I get nothing. . . .so in away I feel like you are lying to me keep me close to you and not flee from you. You hold out something like a child I will wonder over to you wanting to having once I get close enough you pull your hand away petting me on the head softly telling me it will be okay and I can have another one later. I sit by you nodding some I tell you all my problems in hopes of some small help in the end you do it again.

I don't know what to think of you, I try and smile nod listen. I worry and hope wish nothing more for you but in the end I feel like the small child you have made so many promises to and then took it all away. . . .should I continue to believe in you or should I just walk my path away like I should. . . .what will happen. . . .when I do that?

Sign,

Nikko. . .ever unknowing of who you really are. . .

[lnspire]

Without reading the first page, I decide to jot down just a random segment of idea today. Why? Why not. It's easier than remembering what my journal's name was, or making a document for it. Sometimes when I want to write, my impatience kills it. Although that can be applied to more than just writing. I digress.

Today, I failed to make myself coconut butter. In turn my vegan-attempted fudge is failing me, but it's still tasty. I had to try at least once with the incorrect kind of coconut. Okay, it was genuinely the exact opposite of what it required. Lesson learned.

But now I will know not to try that variation again. And that's the point for me, isn't it? I have to at least see once what can and cannot be substituted. Although, my failure fudge will be fantastic when I find the future fun ingredients that freely flow as they should in food.

So, just because I wanted to.

Oh, I found today my emotions are much more controlled giving me better perspective today. Which is a rarity for me. I hope I have more of these days to come. I hope my mom can find a day like this for herself too, and cherish it as a new beginning for herself. She needs it too.

I may come back here again. Who knows. My apologies, dear diary if I do not. I don't stick to journals for too long, although I likely need it more than I care to admit.

[Kali_Namir]

Dear Me...

For one, stop listening to sad and depressing songs thinking it's going to cheer you up, it never does, you're just lying to yourself about that...Seriously, stop torturing yourself stupid...It doesn't exactly matter much anyways, you're having one of those days where the silence is your worst enemy because it leaves you with your thoughts. I'm sorry he can't tell you're a little upset, he's busy having fun and it's not like you're massively upset, you're just hating the silence. It's not fair to yourself if you keep trying to cheer up with sad songs, it's not like it's ever gonna help ANYTHING. Cheer up on your own or listen to happy songs, maybe that will work...(although I doubt you will)...Better yet, just go back to yours stupid sad songs, you'll cry about it later anyways...the stupid silence always makes you do that...

Oh well, I'm tired of trying...
The other me...

[Tiva]

Dear diary

I got engaged, I think the words pretty damn happy describe it.... Now to tackle the test of telling the Parents.