[Taiania]

Anyone around tonight? :)

[Gallowsraven]

Yes? No? I dunno . . . :D

Anybody got a good employment spell (to gain/attract)??? I have a couple but i'd like a slightly bigger selection and i'm not sure what i've got is suitable. If not then i'll use the Cosmic Mail-Order again, usually works out.

[Taiania]

I used a little job attraction pouch before. It's a little green blessed pouch with a hair from your head and a coin in it. You carry it around until your prospects improve then bury it . It's simple but it works.

Now onto a long post. Today I want to talk about personal experiences. I'll start as it's only fair. (Warning, these may be long and contain bad language. They also contain themes younger readers may find distressing. )

Let's start with : The good.

Well this one's short but fun. On an afternoon off from school me and a friend were chilling out. Suddenly I had an urge to walk north. Feeling like we had all the time in the world we went for it and walked the way my mind told me. We ended up in local woodland, near an avenue of trees. As we wandered through we saw an archway in the hedges at the end. It was bright and sunny beyond the arch unlike the dreary day that we were standing in. We went for it, ducking under the archway and finding another part of the forest, cris crossed with badger paths. It was beautiful, the flowers in full bloom, birds singing and butterflies flitting. I remember them most as they were red but their wings were edged with iridescent blue. Fully energised we left in a better mood than we'd been in in months.

The bad.

This one for me is almost as bad as it can possibly get. When I was in college my aunt and cousins came to visit. I'll remove their names but , there was a little girl we'll call A (she was ten at the time) , a boy we'll call J (Nine) and his little brother O (Who was six). They were playful and fearless as little kids usually are, though it was harmless. Though I live far away from them I was their best friend. A even calling me her other sister. We were a close family. One night, as we were leaving O sat on my nan's stair-lift, gave me an oddly calm look, smiled softly, and said "Bye." An unusually short and calm goodbye from a boy that spent most of his time bouncing off the walls. I thought nothing of it and left. The next morning we got a call. O had been in an accident. He had fallen into the mechanism of the chairlift and cracked his skull. His brother and A were distraught and in shock, so they came to my house. We tried to sooth them with kind words but me and my mother knew the truth. My uncle, a paramedic, had revived the little boy twice but it was not to be. He died that day, watched over by his mother and father. You may be asking why this has anything to do with paganism. Please read on.
I spent the next week in a haze of rage and depression. Asking the gods why. It felt so meaningless. Then they gave me a little something to help me understand. They reminded me how the lift used to put on the emergency brake if a towel so much as brushed the mechanism. This wasn't right. I soul searched pushing out my anger towards the press that hounded my grieving family and found an outside influence.
The inquest found no fault with the safety of the machine so it was deemed a freak accident and purely accidental. There was a "Ghost in the machine" or more a malicious spirit. It is as close to what I would call a demon as could be and it had stolen a life. I cried at O's funeral and watched them return the small coffin to the earth. A rush of ivy leaves covered the mourners as he said goodbye to me. The worst part of all this is the being got away with it. It left a deep scar on my heart and it knows it.
My nan blames herself, but I blame myself more, and our family is nowhere near as close as it was any more. I can't tell my family what I know and I doubt it would help them if I did.
So, as a bitter sweet ending for you all I'd like to tell you that he still visits and plays tricks, still says hello once in a while and is happy.

The ugly.

I don't know whether this could class as the bad too but her we go. Over my time I've seen many spirits, some good, some bad and some that couldn't care less if I was there or not. And some, well they were terrifying. These beings we shall call imps. They are corrupter's, they spread a type of darkness through people. I'd like to mention that they are neither good nor evil. They have no real intent. They visit in dreams and one touch can leave you slowly turning into one of them . They are coal skinned humanoid creatures with no hair but pointed ears. They walk on all fours and have long claws on their hands and feet. These beings are also genderless and keep their human eyes.
Luckily when I encountered them they didn't touch me. I spent the whole dream curled up, shivering and shrieking for my life.

Well that's mine. How about you?

[Gallowsraven]

Thanks Tai-chan, i might try that one. And i can still feel where the bleach just landed on my hand while i was cleaning the bathroom . . . not painful just . . . cool. Odd feeling. Been washed off but can still feel it you know.

Also, tai-chan, you said the little boy was usually bouncy, but he just said "Bye" calmly? Sounds like he knew. Kids are scary like that sometimes. I doubt he blames you for it, so stop beating yourself up ok. We all luv ya here hunni, and so does he.

Anyway, good, bad and ugly huh? I'm not sure. I have a lot of stories - my family always sees/experiences weird things and it's an everyday thing for us. But now i have to pick three . . . hmmm.

Good.

It's actually two or three events that a part of one, but you'll get the idea. It was shortly after my nan had passed away a couple of years ago. Now, i'll take the time to mention i felt guilty, still do, as i didn't get to talk to her before she passed. My little brother got to talk to her during the day, but for some reason, just after i got home from college, she took a turn for the worst. The doctors revived her once, even though we'd already said, and so had Nan, that if she went to just let her go. When i got to see her she was in a coma. I know she could hear me (and my boyfriend; this was the first time he'd properly met her and it was not how i'd planned it to go) but i still felt guilty. eventually myself, my brother and my boyfriend went back home (to mine - another first that wasn't what i'd planned) leaving the adults at the hospital. She held on until all her children were around her, three of them coming from the midlands (we live in the south west) and opened her eyes for the first time in twelve hours, smiled and faded away. This was at six or seven in the morning.
At the same time, me, my bro and bf were in the living room; none of us wanted to sleep in seperate rooms and had dragged everything in there. I was asleep and my boyfriend was watching me. To this day he swears blind that he saw an older woman who looked similar to me and mom but not (mothers and daughters look near identical in my family, so i look like mom, she looks like Nan and so on) sitting on the sofa arm near my head and stroking my hair, then she vanished. The next day the pain of her passing was made worse for me, as i had to call in to report my absence for an exam and the message didn't ge tpassed on. You can guess what happened.
A few weeks later, me, mom and Pops (mom's dad) were sitting in his car when we could all smell cigerette smoke. None of us smoke, and we were the only car in the road and had the windows down. As soon as the scent appeared, it was gone. I know she's still around and watching over me. I don't see her, but i feel her, and smell her.

Bad

This isn't really bad as such, but it was terrifying to experience. You'd only really understand Just how much if you experience something similar or the same. Again, it was after a loved one had passed. This time my grandad in 2003. His passing affected me badly enough that i can give you the date, time, the weather, the exact sequence of events, but i won't.
Anyway, it was a few months later, and i was sitting in my room reading. I'll admit, it was a book about ghosts, but you know when you know something is real and happening? This was like that. I was sitting by the window just after lunch, the door to my room was opposite where i sat. I happened to look up because i felt i was being watched, and i could see a face made of shadows on the wall opposite the door. It looked like grandad, so i smiled, said hello, returned to my book. Now i'll tell you, it looked 3D and away from the wall.
I looked up again because i suddenly got an uneasy prickle to see this face drifting closer, only it wasn't grandad anymore; the features were warping. I was terrified, but i stood, crossed to the door and said "You are not him. You're not wanted, go away." and closed the door, ran across my room to my seat and stared at the door hoping it wouldn't come through.
I didn't come out of that room until sunset, and for weeks i wouldn't go onto the hall without at least one bright light on.
I'll admit, i could have imagined it, it could have just been an interesting shadow, but i'm telling you, it was a face, it was 3D, it wasn't on the wall but in front of it, and it did start coming closer. This is the problem with spirits; it can be so easy for one to override another or for one to masquerade as another.

Ugly

I'm not sure what to put; what constitutes as "ugly"? really this could jut be another "bad" as well, like Tai-chan's, but no matter. It's a lot more recent; happened during November or December last year, i think. I'll have to put some background in first, so you understand my way of thinking later.
As some of you know, up until March or april i did the tarot in a shop and also volunteered there to help out. I wasn't always the one to be doing the tarot thre; they had originally asked another woman, but she refused them. Something about not enough time on her hands.
When i found out they were struggling to find another, i told them i read the cards, that i was still at beginner level but would quickly learn and get better. I had picked up tarot in my easrly teens, had a bad experience when they told me several things i didn't want to know, all of which came true, and put them away after that. They agreed to let me do it, and so i started doing the tarot on an almost daily basis. I'm pretty good at reading them now, or so i get told. Scared one friend, but that's another story, funny really, and maybe if Tai-chan lets me i'll put it up some other time.
The woman, let's call her J, came straight in when they told her not to worry, and that they'd found someone else and said that she wanted to do it. Eventually we struck a deal so that we both did it, on the basis that i be allowed to learn from her. She was aptronising from the start, and a little arrogant, but she was a teacher and so i put up with it. At first.
When she started trying to push me out and get me to turn away from it, i refused to go. She wanted me to sell my craft for a start. I don't sell spells, and most people would come to me for hexes and curses anyway, besides it would give a bad reputation. She turned round to the owner (same guy i pity now) and said it was either her or me. He said that she had been given first refusal, refused, and i had offered my services to help and to further my learning. J stormed out in a huff.
She came back several times, trying to put me down in front of other customers and the likes of that. Let me tell you now, she is not a nice reader; she tells you what to do and how to live, which is not what the tarot is for at all.
Shortly after the second or third visit, around the time i told her to grow up because of something she said - can't remember it now - i started having problems. Little things like feeling uneasy, especially at night, and hearing odd noises and having trouble sleeping. Then, one night, i woke up in the early hours in a cold sweat. I sat up, looked around, saw something dark in the corner by the door, lay down. I couldn't move.
It was like someone was holding me down by putting all their weight on my chest and i felt heavy and terrified. I knew it was the thing in the corner. I started trying to visualise a bubble of the brightest white light i could imagine, but it just wouldn't hold in my mind. Eventually i called out for help - in my mind, not with my voice, i couldn't speak - and the spook that lives in my bathroom mirror (i kid you not, he's a perv, and i'm telling the truth) came to my rescue, and stayed in my room all night, which i found sweet and funny. He chased whatever it was away.
This is called a psychic attack, when someone loathes you enough to want to harm you for any or no reason. It is a scary situation to find yourself in, and sometimes the consequences are much worse. I've never been sure whether or not it was J, but i've always had a feeling that it was her doing in some way. I was lucky that one of the spirits that reside in my house heard/felt me when i needed help.
I recommend anyone to always wear/carry something on/near your person to protect you, not just relying on mental/spiritual protection, and to protect yourselves as well as possible. It is not a situationyou want to find yourself in. I found it terrifying, but some find it unbearable and don't hold out against it.

A 56.27 post . . wow, that's long.

[Taiania]

That feeling should go but put some moisturiser on the patch anyway. It should bring out any that soaked in . :)

I think the fact that he knew and was practically telling me is what upset me most. But thanks :)

It sounds like your nan really loved you, enough to make sure you didn't see her pass, but visit you in spirit afterwards. It looks like she wanted to comfort you and watch over you. My granddad did that. He used to visit and call me in for dinner when I was little.

Urg I hate transforming spirits. But you did the right thing :)

You can put up any story any time. I love stories.
And what a bitch. I'm sure that she got what was coming to her in the end. It's so nice that you have such a helpful spirit , even if he is a perv hehehe ^_^

[Gallowsraven]

It's a deal we've made; i won't get rid of him so long as he stays in the mirror. It can cause problems as it faces the shower and i can't tilt it all the way down. Usually i just hang a towel over it. Need to renegotiate though; mom's started seeing him :D the guy thinks it's a game.

But yeah, he is helpful. When he's not leering at me anyway.And she did, i was her kitten. Grandad's too. Both grandad and nan move things around and play tricks, so it keeps things lively lol.

[Taiania]

Lol, maybe ask him to move to a hand mirror or a nice big mirror in a hallway or some such . ^_^

Awww. That's nice. :D

Gah, I wish my mother would accept that I know what I'm doing and that she can be an arrogant cow sometimes. ¬_¬

And this is what happens you leave candles in the window on a hot day :

It looks diseased!!

[Gallowsraven]

Zombie-candle!!!! *runs and hides*

Hallway . . . there's the group of circle mirrors at the bottom of the stairs and the bigger one on the wall opposite them on the landing below me . . . he could have both, it's gotta be better than the view he's got right now.

Nobody says anything contrary there; i'll move him into your bathroom if you do.

[Taiania]

Lol, it should be our mascot XD
That's cool. He might be happier with the extra space . :)

:D

[Gallowsraven]

And it'd be difficult for him to be a perv . . . *nods* i'll have a chat to him via my pendulum before i leave for the midlands.

Wohoo!!! Drayton Manor on sunday!!!

[Taiania]

Cool . Have a blast and take many pictures ^_^

[Gallowsraven]

I can't, don't own a camera myself - every time i've saved up enough to buy one something's come up you know? - and i don't get possession of my parents' camera, though i do love taking photographs. I've got a ton somewhere from the week i spent in Iceland (700+)

:D

I'm a camera-demon!!!

Also, because i just can't resist telling this story, here's the funny one i mentioned in passing in my "Ugly" spoiler.

My friend would get free readings from me because for a start he's my friend, but also because i used his readings to practice, so i read the cards for him a lot before starting in the shop. Well, one day, after the proper readings have started, he comes in asks if i've got a min. So he cuts and shuffles the deck, picks out his ten and i lay them out in order.

I get to the fifth card, which is past influence. I look at the card, look at him, and say "So when were you gonna tell me that you were engaged hunni?"

His eyes bugged out like you wouldn't believe. He wasn't, yet, but he and his boyfriend had been thinking about it for the past three months! He is engaged now and i'm jealous, because they live in a castle for the gods' sakes! And it's haunted!!! Poor me (T.T) Ah well, was funny, he nearly fell off his seat, poor thing.

You get a lot of situations like that reading the cards, or in any divination. If you read for another, and just want to blurt something out, i say go for it. Usually it has some meaning.

[Taiania]

Get a disposable one. Those things are the best.

Awwwww that's really cute ^_^ Lucky guy!

[Gallowsraven]

Yep, was so funny.

"When were you gonna tell me?"

". . . . . . You what?"

Priceless, it's not easy to surprise/shock the guy, but i managed it that day.

I don't really like the disposables to be honest; i can never get them put on cd and i don't like being limited to only twenty or so photos. Oh well, maybe after Drayton Manor i can save up again and treat myself for Lammas :D

[Lauv Keiko]

*walks back in*
Oh, how long have I not been here...

[Gallowsraven]

A while? :D

Rain, rain, go away, come back and drown T4 instead . . . and only T4 . . . please?