[Saiyouri]

тнє ℓσνє σƒ мαgι¢ ιѕ вєуση∂ ƒσяgσттєη
»·,´·˙(´·˙¸ ¸˙·,)˙·,´•·˙·,¯´·˙·• •·˙·,¯´·˙·•╭☆╯•·.·´¯`·.·• •·.·´¯`·.·•´`·.(`·.¸ ¸.·´).·´`·»



☪ஐﻬ☽ *hugs Pinkie*

I hope the advice everyone gave you works out well
for you hun. I know how much hell money arguements
can be in a relationship ~_~ Got in too many with
the idiot I married. I honestly hope things get
better for you two. Money problems are the worse
thing for any relationship. *hugs*



»·,´·˙(´·˙¸ ¸˙·,)˙·,´•·˙·,¯´·˙·• •·˙·,¯´·˙·•╭☆╯•·.·´¯`·.·• •·.·´¯`·.·•´`·.(`·.¸ ¸.·´).·´`·»
uǝʇʇoƃɹoɟ puoʎǝq sı ɔıƃɐɯ ɟo ǝʌol ǝɥʇ

[momo the peachy]

I read the first post. It does seem strange. Where could all that money go? Maybe on someone else. If it has gone on someone else, I would be looking into these things:

A: Is that someone else another woman?

Because if he's spending the money on some b$%^& when you spend your money on food and rent, then you soooo need to get to the bottom of that, and find out who the other woman is. Usually it's someone you know. But, I hope everything is okay and it's not that.

[Fauxreal]

Originally Posted by Pink pantzer

You know what...I may just ask him that and see what he says. But the one thing that gets to me is I lost my job by quiting but before I quit I called him and asked what he thought on it and he said "If you need to do it...I make enough to support the both of us" Then a week later he told me "You dont have to work if you dont wnat to" Thats why I dont understand

Maybe he just didn't know what it really entailed and changed his mind.

[Tiva]

I can't state much then, because the obvious thing to think doesn't fit and maybe it is more of what Faux stated.
Also do you guys use credit cards? Maybe he payed off his card.

[Lucid:]

I know you don't share a bank account, but there are ways to still keep track of all of his and your money. I personally like to use mint.com. It syncs with your bank account(s) to keep a list of all your purchases, it's got budgeting tools that yell at you if you go over budget, and it tells you what categories of purchases you spend all your money on. You can hook up both your bank accounts to one profile so you both can be completely open with each other about where your money is going. If you don't want to use the site, a similar option is just to ask to look at his bank statement - but if you share a mint account you can both check on the money at any time you want. If you're essentially sharing money anyway, he should agree to let you see where he's spending it unless there's something sketchy going on that he doesn't want you to know about. And if it's just a matter of not watching where all the money is going, knowing that's the issue will help you both prioritize your budget in the future.

Also if you have $400 you have enough to go buy a week's worth of food... =/

[gremlin]

You need to sit down with him and try to have a mature, calm conversation about where all that money went to. If you know for a fact what he pays for and how much money should be left over then... I mean where did the rest go? That's just odd. Unless he has a terrible spending habit and you're not aware of it. So just... sit down with him and talk to him. I wish you luck sweetie!

[Ishu]

I divorced my first husband because of this. There were MANY other issues going on at the time but when I found out he was unwilling to pay for a surgery that I NEED because he said it would "put him in debt for 10 years" ($6000 surgery, btw; he made up to $4000 a month...) and that he didn't want to pay for it, it was an emotional blow.

Over time I began to realize that more and more of our money was going missing and he started stressing about cash. I, eventually, found out he was cheating on me and sending money somewhere else. Naturally, I was furious. I never called him out on it and I really wish I did- but because he's part capricorn he would have just lied his way in circles and I didn't have the emotional capacity or patience to go through that. So, inevitably, we got a divorce. We are no longer on speaking terms as he is a total dickweed.

Anywho, you could start asking for receipts so you can balance your checkbook and figure out how to handle the money better. If more money is missing and there are no receipts- one of two things is going on:

1. He's cheating on you or simply spending the money on something he shouldn't.
2. There could be a ring involved.

honestly, he's probably throwing the money away on something, or someone, else, considering the tone I'm getting from his text. I think you need to seriously reevaluate the relationship and start planning on where you're going to live.

[The Krazy Kat Lady]

~Kat HUGGLES Pinkie~

Aww, hon, money is the biggest cause of relationship problems and divorce. It just plain SUCKS.
I am STILL having issues with my husband-creature (he refuses to pay ANY household bills, even though he's been back to work for over 6 months now- and, NO, I can't divorce him).

There most likely isn't another woman... but rather a hobby on which he's spending what he sees as "his" money. My male buys DVDs every single week. We have three 6-foot tall bookshelves stuffed with DVDs, and another bookshelf in his bedroom that's full of them.

He's obviously making money, but when I try to get him to take over ONE SINGLE household bill (the electric bill, for example), he starts barking at me about how he doesn't have ANY money, and then the excuses start overflowing from his mouth.

The point is- he never learned how to budget; he went from living with his folks to living with his first fiancée when he was 19, to sharing a house with 5 other guys who just gave him an itemized bill each month with a total amount he owed listed at the bottom... to living with me.
I've paid ALL the bills since before we were even married.

Some people are good with handling money, others are not. It's a sad fact of life we have to deal with.

If he's as open as you say he is, perhaps you can persuade him to open a joint checking account into which he can deposit every other paycheck and you can deposit whatever money you have come in. You can use that one bank account strictly for household stuff like rent, utilities, and food. That way you both get peace of mind because he won't have to worry about the action of paying bills, and you won't have to worry about the money being there.

When he said he could support the both of you, he probably had no idea how hard that is to do on one income- especially with food and gas prices skyrocketing. AND, he probably has no clue how to budget for a household.

If he won't agree to a joint checking account with just half his income, you then have all rights to question him as to where his money is going. If he gets defensive and starts raising his voice at you... it's time for you to move on. People like that simply do NOT change. If I had known my husband was going to be a mooch for the rest of our lives, I never would have married him. I make enough on Disability to live on my own and pay someone to come in 2 or 3 times a week to do housework and prepare meals for me that I can just heat in the microwave (I'm not allowed to cook because of my condition). I would have a housekeeper right now if Eric would just pay his freaking share of the bills!

Pinkie, you DO NOT want to end up in a permanent relationship with someone who is incapable of handling money responsibly. I know you love him- and maybe he will change on his own, but not if you are there enabling him to piss away his income. And for him to turn you down for money for FOOD- that's a deal breaker right there.

I would suggest not breaking up with him, but also not living with him anymore - if he isn't willing to do a joint bank account. If he wants to be an immature little boy and not have responsibilities, let him do it on his own. Make arrangements to move back in with your Mom just until you find a new job and save up enough to get your own place. (Speaking from experience: an adult child living with the parent(s) is very stressful because they say they see you as an independent adult, but without realizing it, they treat you like you're still in high school).

Annnnd- there is always the possibility that there may be another woman. If that's the case, pack all your stuff as quickly as possible and move out while he's at work. If it's something you two can get through/past, you can work on your relationship from different residences. I REALLY hope that's not the case, though.

Love & Hugs!!