[Pocket]

Well as I'm typing this I am waiting for my sleeping pills to kick in so I'm not 100% right now, lol.

Let me give a tad bit of info before I go on..

My hubby has been working as an unloader for about 4 months now and has lost weight to the point he has dropped 4 pant sizes. Don't get me wrong I love that he is losing weight..

But I'm getting to the point were I'm comfortable with the way I am and what not but I feel like I'm not pretty to him anymore..like I'm fat and gross.. I know that I'm not and he has told me but still.. I can't help but feeling like that.

I work 3rd shift so I have one big meal and then lunch has to be small and I'll eat something before I go to sleep in the mornings.

Because of stress issues a few years ago I can't eat alot at night, if I do I end up getting sick to my stomach.

I've tried dieting but I don't lose much.. I don't really have time to go and excrise plus I feel stupid doing it alone..

What should I do? Am I stupid for thinking this way?

...please help.

[Serra Britt]

Self image is a hard thing to deal with when it's negative, because no matter what others say it's still that little voice inside of you saying the bad things. I've had to deal with some negative self images myself, and I can't say I'm completely over them. I just keep reminding myself that my inner beauty will shine no matter what I look like on the outside.

Dieting and exercising go hand in hand from my experience. Your hubby does a lot of physical work so he might not want to but ask if he'd like to do some light exercises with you, even walking helps a lot if you do it regularly. If he can't maybe you can find someone at work or a nearby friend to do something with. I don't like gyms because I won't want to pay to exercise but that's just me.

As for you being stupid thinking this way? No, it's pretty common. I hope we can help you enough to get past it though :3

[Delicious Nightmare]

Pocket your no barbie but your still very pretty.
I know how you feel and its hard to fight the feelings. You not stupid and i think you need try and think better of your self. Your hubby is not the only one that says your pretty..

[SanguaLuna]

I am a chubby girl, I always feel like I am not pretty enough either BUT some guys like me for the way I am. Sometimes us girls feel that way (even guys). I remember I felt like my skin on my face was flawed BADLY.... Even though my skin was clear of pimples. I notice like little red flush or red stuff (cause I am so pale, you can see almost anything)... I guess I was so self conscience, I just needed makeup all the time.

I completely understand were you are coming from. Now, I feel better about myself but being positive is a lot to do with it. Stay positive and you will be fine. :)

[CupcakeDolly]

Everyone in here has great advice already. I've had to - and still do - deal with self-image issues. It's hard to fight off when the media is showing us how we should look and everyone around is obsessed with diet and exercise. I've just barely beaten back a period of my life controlled by bulimia and anorexia, and it's taken a serious toll on my health. Despite being at the bottom of my target weight range, I still feel huge and I feel despair at seeing that I'm fifteen pounds heavier than I was at my lowest point of anorexia.

The best solution I can give is to, first of all, exercise - just a little bit, like light jogging for a few minutes or doing fifty sit-ups will give you a sense of accomplishment and make you feel better about your body. You could ask your hubby to help you or do it with you. Also, if you graze throughout the day with small snacks instead of eating large meals, you'll eat less overall and not feel as guilty as you might after eating a full meal. Self-image issues are mostly in the mind, and all you can really do to help is try to alter the way that you think.

[Ginger]

From what I have heard, stress is a huge contributor to weight gain. People lose weight by changing their lifestyle, not just diet and exercise. A diet is only temporary. You've got to find what foods suit your lifestyle. Leafy greens always make my mouth water. When it comes to exercise, start off with something simple like walking a mile at least every other day. Breakfast is a must because it boosts your brain and your metabolism for the day. I would suggest 3 meals a day with one snack. Just eat when you are hungry and avoid eating before bed. Give your body some time to digest the food. If it sits in your stomach at night, the fats and sugars will stay in your body like that and make you gain weight. Do buttkickers before you go to bed to give your metabolism a quick boost.

I hope this helps =)

edit; I almost forgot!! Drink plenty of water and choose the healthiest foods you know of that you love.

[Pocket]

Ginger~ Ya stress is a big trigger...and I'm pretty much screwed on that department because I have sever stress and anxiety disorder...so untill that is under control then ya thats not gonna help...lol.

[Mrs Jesse Jay]

I have been feeling the same way lately. My husband can drop weight like its the easiest thing in the world. All he has to do is work with portion control and watch what he's eating and it drops off. Its frustrating that he can lose so much weight so quickly, but its a proven fact that men lose weight easier than women. Why that is when they're not under as much pressure to look good as women are, I will never understand. However, I started on a diet with him about a month back. All we did was eat light breakfast, salad for lunch, and something low calorie with no red meats for dinner. Then we added on walking at least a mile every day. Of course, it started out slow for me because I'm completely out of shape. In the month I lost close to 10 pounds and started to feel better about myself. Of course, its not just losing weight that can make you feel better. Try getting your hair or nails done. Something special, just for you. That makes you feel like you're taking care of yourself and pampering yourself. I got my hair permed, my nails done, and bought a few inexpensive pieces of clothing and felt a lot better.

[Echo-chan713]

I've had a self-image problem since I was 11 when I started to puberty and my fat deposits are in the wrong places and where I was no one wanted to go excerise and it's not a priority. I've been made fun at for being fat for 7+ years.

And I had a reltionship with a guy that LOVES the bigger woman and to me the more I gained weight in a way the more he loves me for it.

Even though you look like your a peasent, you look like to him is a princess ^^

[Night Fury]

you shouldn't put yourself down
from what I've seen it is actually harder to lose weight when you are worried about self image for some people
need to be confident you can improve yourself if you want to get better and think positive about yourself and your body
which would be less stressful

[Gallowsraven]

This sort of thing is common and as said before, not exactly helped by our beloved media, or by jealous kids. I was boardering anorexia when i was little, but luckily my family managed to stop me before i did too much damage. It was an aunt's comments that sparked it off, fuelled by a group of boys making weight-comments. I later found out that they actually had a crush on me. But boys will be boys, i guess.

The problem is, it takes so little effort but the damage lasts a lifetime. Like many of the others here, and you, i look in the mirror and think "this isn't right" or "my tummy's too poochy" and it's only very rare that i'll ever admit to being more than just slightly average in looks. These issues are normal; it's an unfortunate side-effect of living in our world.

So can i ask you, what do you like about yourself? My first answer in regards to me is always my eyes, but then i'll admit to liking my build and weight; even though i'm not thin, i'm cuddly! I have curves and i love them! Any less weight and i wouldn't be me, i'd be a stick-insect or something because i have one of those builds. Admitting that there's at least one thing you like about yourself is the first step. It gets easier from there and helps your motivation and moral.

Excersise, watching what foods you eat rather than the quantities (summer's coming up and i love salads personally) and feeling good about yourself all help. Maybe also give yourself a goal; like maybe a pretty dress or something you really want, within reason of course.

Nobody's ever completely satisfied with how they look, but the trick is recognising where to stop either way, i suppose.

[Desmond]

I really don't have anything new to add, but, I feel like you should know that you are pretty. It doesn't matter what you look like, it's who you are that counts.

I struggle with a shit ton of body issues because I'm Trans so I understand where you're coming from. And the one thing that gets me through the day is how me and my friends just say that we're pretty. It's caught on like wildfire and it helps all of us when we have an off day.

So, you're pretty. ^^

[Nanka]

I honestly have no idea if this contributes to helping, but I personally find chubbier girls to be a lot prettier and better people to be around. If I was straight, I can't imagine myself with a super skinny girl.

[Desmond]

I agree with Nanka as well. I don't like really skinny girls/people. I feel like I'm gonna brake them. ^^;;

[Pocket]

Like I don't want to be skinny as a stick but I want to be flatter.. Here let me find some pics to should what I mean...

This is went I first met my now hubby...

http://tinypic.com/r/qo63bk/7

This is our wedding day...

http://tinypic.com/r/29uq3yq/7

That was a span of like a year and a half... Mind you I knew him for about 6 years before we decided to date then get marrried.

This is my newest pic after I did my hair.. I see that I am pretty and what not but I just don't believe it..

http://tinypic.com/r/rc0kyg/7

[Serra Britt]

You look lovely to me Pocket :3

I guess I can sort of understand, for a long time I was really not happy with how I looked at all, partly because of social pressure and all that. But really what I think is that beauty comes from within, and no matter what happens to the external body it's the inner beauty that will shine through no matter what.

That being said though, your posts seem to indicate that you'd like to change how you look on the outside. As long as you want to do it for yourself and not others I think that's fine... but once you start caving to others ideas of beauty it's very easy to keep thinking that way.

Good luck Pocket, I think you look great but hopefully you will think of yourself that way soon too :3