[Seloria]

So 2 years ago, I moved in with my bf and he proposed to me. We now own a house together, and are planning our wedding. Last year we decided to get married in August of this year. I told my 2 best friends and made one of them, that I had known longer, my maid of honour, and the other is my bridesmaid. For this story the MoH will be known as Maggie, and the bridesmaid will be known as Sara, I don't want to share their real names. So at the beginning of this year, I started planning the wedding, and had them all meet up with me and the rest of my bridal party. Throughout this meeting, Sara kept poking fun at some of my other party members, and she wanted to help plan everything. Since then, she has not come out to meet us again, even to choose the bridesmaid dresses. She told me at the very beginning she wanted me to choose something and just tell her what to wear because it was my day and she didn't want to make that decision. When I picked out a dress for her, all she did was complain about it, and her complaints didn't have any validity whatsoever anyway. Since then she has given me excuse after excuse as to why she didn't have the time to get to the shop to get it fitted, every week. The dresses take 3-4 months to come in after being ordered. Now with less than 4 months to my wedding date, she decided she doesn't want to be a bridesmaid after all. I have been under a lot of stress over some other issues lately and she chooses now of all times to tell me this. So now not only do I have that much stress on me, I'm down one bridesmaid, and now even if I replace her there is no guarantee that this other girls dress will come in in time as the wedding is less than 4 months away. When I expressed to her how upsetting this is, she took it upon herself to say some not-so-pleasant words, and then block me completely. I don't understand what her issue is, but if she had just talked to me we could have worked this out. This is driving me nuts, and possibly ruining my wedding. I feel so lost right now, and I have a million things to do still. I needed to rant and get this out because holding all of this in was just killing me. Feel free to post your opinions or discussions on this matter.

[Delicious Nightmare]

Don't worry about it. Just go on doing what you need done. Sara is in the wrong. And if she is going to act like this then you don't need her. Your wedding will be breath taken even with one less brides maid. Breath and take care of your self. Because it is your day and the one thing you do not need is more stress. And if you want just get a new bridesmaid ask your soon to be husband to help.

[Seloria]

My biggest issue with one less bridesmaid, is that I have an usher with no pair. I didn't just want to leave him hanging, and I don't want to take him out of the wedding party either. My maid of honour is trying to help me find someone to fill in, my fiance doesn't have any girl friends. His brother has a gf but they are already in our wedding party and I only have the 2 girl friends. We have a lot more guy friends than girls. I'm trying really hard not to stress about it, but of course I'm going to anyway. If my maid of honour and I can't come up with anyone then I don't know what I'll do. Maybe I can talk to my fiance about dropping one of the other guys and just rearranging our pairs then. I really hate to do that to them though.

[Delicious Nightmare]

Do any of you have friends with a kid or some thing? Im sure you have the flower girl and ring barer. Maybe have a kid walk with the groomsmen? Or maybe have a male stand in as a bridesmaid. It would not be the first time that has happened. But I think a kid would be cuter lol.

[Fizzyology]

A wedding is stressful for anyone, and it's possible that your friend may feel nervous about being in front of people, wearing a dress or anything of that sort. I can't speak for your friend since I don't know them, but in the long run, if she doesn't want to talk and refuses to be civil, then to hell with her. It IS your wedding not hers, don't let this little slip up make things harder on you dear. :3 You have too much to worry about already.

In the long run, it'd be simplest to either drop out on of the guys or see if he's ok with walking by himself.

Of course if I lived near by, I'd love to help by being in the wedding lol.

When I was planning my wedding, we didn't have months to plan. We had two weeks, because I'm impatient and I don't like working on something for a long time, just makes it less exciting to me is all. I had my bridesmaids and Maid of Honour all set up and ready to go dress hunting, and when I decided that I wanted my maid of Honour's dress to be different then the other two brides maids, it seemed really easy. Until my second Bridesmaid brought her mother with her and her mother actually convinced her to get a different dress. Long story short I was upset but didn't voice it, till my Mother got mad and called the dress company and changed the dress without the consent of my second brides maid and her mother's permission (It was cheaper though so who cares?) My friend rarely talks to me anymore, even though she seemed to understand the fact that it was my wedding not hers, and it should be the way I want it.

The point is, you get to decide what happens, not any of your friends. You do it the way you want it to be, and if your friends can't respect that, well then not to be harsh, but forget them. You can't change people.

Wish you could though lol.

Hell, if my friend wanted me to wear some poofy ugly green and pink whatever dress in their wedding, I'd freaking do it, because that's how much I care about my friends, even if I don't agree with their fashion sense lol

[Seloria]

I feel the same way Fizzy, I would wear whatever they wanted me to, because I care about them and want them to be happy on their wedding. My fiance and I are still trying to decide what to do but it does seem that the easiest would be to talk to one of the guys and ask them to drop out. There is one that my fiance has been friends with for a long time, but recently that friendship really came into question. I'm thinking because the bridesmaid dresses have to be ordered and take up to 4 months, at this point we might not get the dress for the wedding if a girl orders it, the easiest option is to cut a guy. It's a hard decision to make so we are thinking a bit on it, but it is definitely leaning towards that option. I don't want to let everyone else ruin this for me and add to the stress I have already. I'm done trying to make everyone else happy.

[Fizzyology]

Not to mention most people CAN'T be freaking happy lol.

Well either way I'm sure that whoever you decide to cut will understand. I mean guys tend to be better with this kind of thing anyway lol.

Congratulations by the way :3 I wish you two the best~!

[Seloria]

Thank you so much.
I know, and I always try to make everyone happy but obviously that isn't working because I'm not happy. I always put everyone else first but right now, I need to just make myself and my fiance happy and stop caring about everyone else just this once. If we do decide to cut this guy I know he will understand as they have had a bit of a fall-out between them recently and are not talking really as they were before. Their friendship is kind of rocky right now, and he will understand if he isn't in the bridal party. I just wish that it didn't have to come to this because of one bridesmaid's selfishness. I talked to my maid of honour this weekend and she thinks that "Sara" has some other issues going on in her life, but when she does she doesn't talk about them, she tries to use them to draw attention to herself and create a drama hub around her. It's just the way she is, but I don't need that while I'm trying to plan a wedding.

[Ink Glitched]

Do I know how you feel, for me I couldn't get married on the date I wanted because my mother rushed it because I was pregnant, and I couldn't have any family at mine, and the reception was even worse because none of my family came, not even my sis, (which she could of come for an hour and help me with writing the people who brought gifts.)AND I couldn't even pick my dress because mom said I couldn't wear white. T.T I hope it gets resolved, and ignore the party pooper.

[Fizzyology]

Right on Sel :3 screw the unhappy dramatic people, this is YOUR time! ^w^

ugh I hate it when people stick to tradition so hard. I mean really the whole "can't wear white 'cause you're not a virgin" thing is seriously outdated! Hell I wore black and white to my wedding didn't have a problem :3

what does it matter what colour your dress is anyway?

Controlling Mums drive me nuts D:

[Seloria]

Aww Eclipse, pregnant or not, it shouldn't have mattered. You should have been able to do it the way you wanted. I'm not exactly innocent lol, but I'm still going to wear white at my wedding. I'm trying not to let everything get me down and just continue planning. I hate that I sound so selfish when I say its all about me this time, but it is my day and I don't want to have any regrets or resentment because of the actions of others that were out of my own control.