[Delicious Nightmare]

Hey, here is your warning this is a post where i will talk about my life, or thoughts or be emo or whatever. Alright now that you've been warned. Its time to start. I'm kate, I'm 22 and in may i will be 23. I have 2 kids and a husband. Just in case you didn't know. Anyway. I want to talk about my husband.
I love him and i will say that a lot most likely. Even when I hate him, i love him. At the end of the day its him i want to be with and talk to and hold or what ever else. We have are problems and we fight, loudly. We say mean things and a lot has gone wrong. But we have been together for 7 years. And even when he is mean and i want to run away and give it all up. When i think about him I cant see me with out him. I don't think i could ever be happy with out him. He is a very stressed man. Because of my illnesses he has been thrown into the world of multiple jobs and never sleeping. Doing some house work and so on just so me and the kids can be happy. I want to believe that I'm worth it all but I don't think i am.. He snaps so often and i try to help but i always get told that I'm not doing as much as he is doing. And that i have it easy next to him.
Its painful to hear coming from him. I might not work two jobs(one full time and one part time), but i take care of two kids all day. I have a very bad back and i suffer from depression. I might get more sleep then him but at the end of the day we are both tired.
I have been trying to get better and to take weight off him. To do more around the house so he can come home and rest. And he does, he might not get as many hours resting as he wishes.. I tell him all the time that he is awesome and that I'm proud to be be his wife. I try any thing to make him feel better.
I don't know what to do, we fight a lot. And when we do its bad, and i fight hard not to slip up and hurt my self again. I try hard to be understanding and know that he is just stressed.
I fight daily with my self even when me and my husband doest. I find my self being self destructive a lot and i am doing what i can to fix that. I want him to see it might not be the same as him but its just as hard. Im in pain every day even before i do any thing. But I still get up and take care of our sons. And I like to believe i do a pretty damn good job.
I feel like its time to throw the towel in and leave. But I know if i did, i would never look at any one the way i look at my husband. I know I would never want any one else. I believe then when you meet the one for you thats the one.. And He is my one, but i dont know if im his one.

[Funkduder]

I think you need a marriage consultant XD....
But on a more serious note, let's try to clear the air a bit before making any quick conclusions (he wouldn't have married you if you weren't his one but anyways): it doesn't seem like your kids are very old, so you must be working hard to take care of them. On the flip side your husband is working both a full time job and a part-time job so as you said, he's never sleeping. That's what can be said for sure.

Now let's focus on the problem: You guys fight a lot and there seems to be a lot of misunderstanding that causes that fighting and that fighting to escalate into words that rather not have been said in the first place.
Do you start most of the fights, or does he? and do you guys apologize some point after those fights? I think that's a good place to start.

[Delicious Nightmare]

The fights are started by both me and him. Some times its him some times its me. And normally starts with a snippy comment. And, yes some times we say sorry. But what bothers me is he says the same thing almost every fight. Same thing diff words. And if he says the same thing over and over then he must truly believe it right. And if he truly believes that i am not doing my best. That my daily load is not as heavy as his. Then i don't know what to do. My kids are 3 and 1 and they are very strong willed like me. Or me when i was younger.
I know he is super stressed, and tired. That's why i try to do any and every thing i can just to make him feel better. Like I will let him go hang with friends while i sit home with the kids more. I will let him sleep in on his almost days off. And When I can i cook dinner and i rub his back and I do what i can. I really do, and I know its not much. That some one on a healthy side would and could do more.
And about the" he would not marry me if i was not his one". He might think i am, but that does not make it true. We fight all the time. And its normally because I'm not good enough. Or I'm not doing good enough. And if he feel's/thinks that then how can i be his one.

[Funkduder]

It seems as though you're both stressed by the situation you're in. While you try to do the best that you can, he thinks that his work is far more taxing than yours and that your not doing enough....what do you mean that someone healthier could do more? Is he pushing to do something that you can't do?:confused: Anyways, I think that if you truly believe that you're doing the best you can than his problem with how much you do is just that: his problem. He could say how little he thinks you're doing all he likes but in the end, if you can't do more than your doing, his words are only complaints about problems that both you and him should be working towards muscling through together instead of fighting each other about. Speaking of which, how long have you guys been fighting about this anyways? This couldn't have been going on since the very beginning of your marriage, has it?

[Delicious Nightmare]

No, we have been together 7 years. This all began 3 years ago..When my first son came. Its when i put on a lot of weight for the pregnancy and that killed my back. And tossed me into a deeper depression.

I mean some one in better shape (healthy) they would be able to do more house stuff then i can. I'm working on dropping the weight but even then my back will limit me. Just not as much.