[Natsunaine]

Okay, So Wednesday a friend of mine who i have feelings for came over. She has a boy freind(Though he beats her and treats her horribly), it was a strictly just coming over to hang out and catch up thing.. Well later into the night she leaned over whispered in my ear that she had feelings for me and wish she could get rid of her boyfreind without physical violence being involved. and kissed me.. Here where the guilty part came in.. I kissed back, though i felt awful about it afterwards and it was only once and afterwards i told her not to do it again//i still kissed back... On one hand i feel that i shouldn't feel bad because how she is treated and the fact she is stuck in the relation ship.. on the other hand the obvious reason she is still in a relationship with someone else and that could be considered cheating on her end... though i am single so not on my end GAH! Opinions?

[Espy]

I don't think she likes her current "boyfriend". I think that's totally fine, but that's just me. If you've got mutual feelings and she doesn't really consider herself to be in a real relationship with her boyfriend, I wouldn't see it as cheating.

[Maro]

To be completely honest you shouldn't feel too guilty, you didn't initiate the kiss... she did. Knowing that she is in a relationship,albeit an abusive one, she shouldn't have kissed you. Since it'd end up making you feel bad she should have taken that into account. I've been in so many bad relationships I've lost count, some are easy to get out of,some aren't...

Depending on certain factors there is a chance she can get out of it unharmed,well.. more or less considering what he has already done..

But at the same time it might be tricky pursuing a relationship with her afterwards. As stupid as it sounds, most women end up going back to the ones who harmed them. Usually after the person promises they have changed, won't do it again.. yada yada. I've done it, my mother did it with my father...

I just pray it doesn't happen to my little girl..

But back on topic..

You shouldn't feel horrible because of something you did not start. You have feelings for her so of course your body would react no matter what your mind tells it to do. Been in that situation before, not a fun one but it happens.

Sorry if I'm not really being all that helpful..

[Natsunaine]

I realize that she initiated it and all, I feel like I could have pushed her away or something.. I don't know..

[Maro]

As I previously stated, you have feelings for her so your body reacted in a way it found acceptable.

[Poggio]

Have you thought about getting her help to get out of her current relationship? Domestic violence is not something to take lightly or ignore.

[Natsunaine]

She's been to the police several times, but all her boyfriend has to do is flash the "I fought for out country" Card and he gets away with it.. Ive seen it personally happen several times..

[Poggio]

The police are not the people to go to, and even so what she needs to do is start keeping physical documentation of the abuse. If she takes a picture of herself and once he does it take another picture, there is proof. There is also going to the hospital, with the medical records and stuff she could possibly get a court order against him, with a restraining order legally the police have to act, even if he is a vet. Clearly he is a dangerous man and could be suffering from post traumatic stress so I would look into having him committed.

[Natsunaine]

I know the guy, he was like this way before he joined. He just has anger issues and blames them on everyone else, and she has to sneak out of the house to even spend 20 minutes with a freind. He is always following her around by her coat tails.. Ive brought this up with her before and she said she doesn't want him to hurt her or her friends.. I would go into detail but for the sake of a promise and her privacy i won't go there..

[Maro]

The problem with the courts is they can take years to resolve anything... and there's loopholes to restraining orders.. I know this from experience..

& During that amount of time/situation any number of things could happen...

If I knew more about the specific situation I might be able to give better advice but you made a promise so I won't pry.

[Poggio]

Well I have to be honest, the best thing you can do is either try to help her get out of this situation or not encourage these feelings.Caring for this girl may get her physically hurt. I know she needs an outlet from her boyfriend and her feelings may be genuine, however it is dangerous if the situation is as bad as you describe it. It is putting both your life and hers in danger. Once he sees you as a threat there is nothing to stop him from coming after you since as you say all he has to do is flash the I fought for this country card.

Natsu you have had some pretty bad luck with girls I must say.

[Natsunaine]

Trust me pogs im aware of my horrible luck xD

[Lucid:]

Listen to Poggy. She has wise words.
It may be difficult to get this girl some help out of this relationship, but it's absolutely worth it. If she's not going to do anything about it, somebody has to, for the safety of both her and her friends.

[Natsunaine]

UPDATE: So i ended up assisting her with the situation, she confessed to me that she was in love with me then a few dayys later told me to drop her out if my life.. ugh bad luck strikes again

[Poggio]

That is a relief, at ;east it sounds like she is getting back to her life.
Did you find a shelter for battered women or something?