[hyjin]

Not much to explain about it but I am too kind for my own good... there are times that I wish I didn't have a heart... that I could rip it out and be a emotionless husk... I just don't know what to do these days because of my emotions getting the best of me... I care way too much for the people I know IRL and the people on tris... There are times I wish I could hate instead of love or feel compassion towards people...

suicide will never be an option to me bc i love life i love the people i know but i just wish i could feel neutral or hate instead of love towards all... even to those that hurt me i still like them... not as much as i used to but i cant get mad or even hate them forever...

feel free to post your comments here on what i should do...

[Poggio]

Oh Hyjin. I was at a point in life where I did not care. It is painful to care but it is better I believe. You tend to connect with more people and eventually some one will listen to you.

What I want to know is what has gotten you this depressed?

[hyjin]

just things happened last night and i wasnt feeling like myself... and i kind of wanted to angry and hate something... but i couldnt...

[Poggio]

SO this may be bold of me to say but maybe you should ask your dad for some time off so that you can find a separate job? I find myself falling in to my old angry habits because I am living with my parents instead of living the way I want. But that is because I can not afford anything else really.

xD if that is not the issue then I would say write a letter and never send it.

[hyjin]

meh i might get a new job just waiting on my cousin in law to let me know whats up at sprint...

[Natsunaine]

Hyjin, Being kind is rewarding and its troubling, But I have found there is no reason to fret over it. As long as you are happy making others happy there shouldn't be a problem. I'm not sure what "emotions" are getting the best of you but I can assure you that I am here if you need anything. Natsu's is only an inbox or skype message away.

[bagelbites101]

Hyjin, I find myself having similar problems. Is there anywhere you go or someone you talk to in particular when you're finding yourself overwhelmed? Or do you prefer to be left alone when angry like that? Find what least upsets you.

In times of emotional distress, I turn more to drawing or painting as an outlet, or talk to my father (since we get along very well).

Maybe unlike you though, I'm very much abrasive when it comes to people, usually unintentionally. The anger that can sometimes arise from dealing with large groups of people can really clash with my kinder, meeker side. Such cognitive dissonance, I find, is easier to deal with yourself (along with some positive reinforcement from friends or family, along with inspirational books or movies).

I sincerely hope this helps.