[Glitch]

I had a friend who I cherished even though I don't always feel she is making wise decisions. She was looking for a cheap car a year ago and so I wanted to help her out, I referred her to my dad.

She got a car with her boyfriend and then moved to salem and my dad started calling me all the time asking where they were - said they weren't making payments. Then suddenly I guess they were making them again because he quit calling me.

A month or so ago they texted me to ask how much they still owed so that they could get a new car from somebody else.

Then suddenly they moved back here. I was so excited to see her again, she was somebody I considered very dear to me. I found out she had moved onto my very same street. I was so excited- I tried to find out where she lived on the street so I could go over and surprise her and have a great time. I had a little "buddies on the same street" thing playing in my mind. I was elated. I told everybody, including my dad.

He shows up a few hours later, asks me to watch his dog, and takes off to repo the car. I didn't know what to do. I didn't think texting her would do anybody any good. I hoped they'd talk it out. I had no idea dad was coming- I had in fact told him I hadn't seen her car when he asked.But I guess it was parked right on the street, I had had my fingers crossed it was in their garage.

So of course now she thinks i was asking about her house, just for dad to come take the car. She hates me, she loathes me I'm sure. Strange numbers are calling my phone, anything I try to say to her she accuses me of being a liar and tells me how fucked up I am for doing that.

The only thing I could think to do was tell her what I have told you, that I had no idea, that I wanted to come over because I was so happy we lived on the same street. I'm home alone during hte evenings and I hate it - I was really happy. I told her I would do what I could to make things right.

So dad calls - and tells me he'd already been driving past the house for the past few days because she listed it on her app. I had no idea. He assumed they were in our city again because they had called from a local number.

Of course it doesn't look like that though.

I don't know what to do, I feel absolutely awful, I wish she'd believe me. I'll drive them around if they need me to. I can talk dad's ear off and plead for her but I don't think that would help.

This sucks.

[Fey]

I know that right now you feel terrible, and she's really hurt, but I'm gonna play devil's advocate. She was the one that chose to not make payments on the car. She also knew you lived very close to where she was. So, there was no reason NOT to assume she'd get caught by your dad and have the car get towed.

It's not YOUR fault that she didn't pay for what she was supposed too. All you did was have the misfortune to be trying to get in touch with her. This sadly won't help much, but at least know that YOU'RE not a bad person.

I would leave her a note in her mailbox, explain that you feel really bad, and offer to chauffeur them around if they need it until they can get a new car. Also, tell her you'd rather she hash it out with you in person. It's harder to stay mad at a friend in person when you have to look at their face. yeah, what she will say will hurt, but it'll let you both get it out in the open, and if you're lucky she'll let you explain your side as well.

::hugs:: hang in there, you're NOT a bad person, just an anxious friend.

[Glitch]

Well her mom called me and left me a threatening voicemail in which she called me a lot of bad names. Dad told me she did the same to him but she tagged on that she knows where I live in mine. :(

[Fey]

so? let her mother say what she wants, keep the voicemail, if she physically comes after you tell her you will take it to the authorities. and contact your friend, let her know you want to work it out,b ut with HER, not her mother.

[Glitch]

WEll she and her mom are still contacting me. I haven't said anything back because i just don't have anything to say, i sent my email. I don't know anything about the car or anything so I can't answer any questions. I have upgraded from bad words to a snake though. My mom called the police, so i'm waiting for them to callme . . .

[Fey]

ugh, not fun at all. do you have a mutual friend that can arrange to mediate for you?

[Serra Britt]

You shouldn't feel bad Winter...you haven't done anything wrong. You just wanted to get together with your friend again, and like Fey is saying...you weren't aware of what she was doing. I don't think she is right for making threats at you since she's the one who wasn't paying :/

[Glitch]

it's just awful i wish it hadne't happened :(

[Fey]

::hugs:: life happens, and repercussions are hte worst part, specially when those not at fault get drug into them.

[Saiyouri]

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(｡◕‿◕｡) Wow Winter I am so sorry that happened
to you. All I can think of is do what you
already are trying to do. Try to explain to
her that you didn't know what was going to
happen, that your dad surprised you when he
came over and you really only wanted to
surprise her by saying hi to her and welcome
to the street. I know it's going to be hard
to do. Maybe give her sometime to calm down
before you try to explain to her again.

I really wish you the best of luck with this.
My heart goes out to you. *huggles*



╚═════════════════════════════════╝

[Gallowsraven]

This all sounds like a heck of a lot of bad luck and timing to me. It's Murphy's Law at it's "best"; anything and everything that can go wrong will go wrong.

The police should be involved if you're getting threatening messages, so good for contacting them. You've done nothing wrong, and they're not really letting you explain yourself as they seem to just ignore whatever you say. I agree with Fey; this is between you and your friend, anybody else who thinks they have a say don't and need to butt out because it'll only make things worse.

I will say this though; i know she's hurt and everything, but she should still hear you out with an open mind, you were really close after all and she owes you for that, at least. Other than that, the best i can say is ignore them. If they won't listen, and they keep acting so immature, then are they worth your time? It'd be tough going though, with all the stunts they're pulling.

[MuseSick]

As hard as it probably is to admit, maybe you weren't as close as you imagined. You can never know what someone's thinking about you- Unless you ask them. Even then they can lie. I think maybe she wasn't a very good friend (just off what you're saying) because if she was don't you think she'd be a little open minded in believing you? She wouldn't let her Mum jump on your back for something that is out of your control if you were really great friends. This isn't the point of the topic but- what's said and done can't be taken back. You could beg your Dad and plead for him to give her back the car, but it's wrong. It's his job, I hate to say it but it's HER fault that her car got taken away. You shouldn't feel so guilty for something that's completely out of your control. I know it's hard because you were giddy about her coming back, and you were close. But- time changes people, maybe she's not the same friend you thought she was.

As for her Mum, you can always get her number blocked so she can no longer call you. But it's strange- Why wouldn't you just ask your Dad for her address, and go see her, and apologize. (Maybe you already have) but when you think of it, apologies in words are only as convincing as the person reading it. If her mind doesn't want to believe it, she wont. So try going over, talking to her, you can tell a lot about the meaning of a conversation through someone's eyes.

If she's a good friend, she'll come to her own realization. Sometimes less is more. And it's true. Let it sit, simmer, whatever you want to call it. But you shouldn't feel so awful- for something that isn't your fault. If anything- if I were you I'd be more pissed than I would be sad.

There are bigger things out there.

[Shenandoah]

Perhaps things can be resolved between you. Perhaps you weren't as close friends (like MuseSick said).

I've been in bad situations before, but not quite like this one. Like when my husband and I separated, I was berated for being mean to him when I had been virtually ignored to the point that I was in physical pain and making myself ill. Our circumstances were different and we've been able to make up to a degree. I'd even call us tentative friends at the moment.

From what I can tell, you've done nothing wrong. Your father did nothing wrong. There was an agreement to make the payments. (As a side note, did your father and your friend write out a contract and not just have a verbal agreement?) What was wrong was that your friend didn't make the payments. What was wrong was the accusations and stuff. What was illegal was the threatening phone calls to you and your father, especially the part where the mother of the little twit got involved for no seeming good reason and said that she knew where you lived. What was extremely stupid was leaving the evidence behind on the voice mails. You have proof you were being threatened.

I wish you the best of luck. Perhaps this whole thing will blow over, but I can pretty much guarantee you it'll never be forgotten on either side or by the third parties (willing or not) involved. It'll be like this blight on your friendship for the rest of your relationship with her. A continual reminder, which is sad... but true. Once burned, twice shy.

[Yokuutsu]

No offense, but if her mom and her are going to threaten you and the like over a CAR...the friendship probably wasn't as good/important on your friend's end. If it was me, I would cut her off and that would be the end of it. They should have the common sense to realize that you aren't your father and that someone should've paid the car payments. If they had.....guess what? None of this would've ever happened. Personally, I think you should find another friend. Plan and simple.

[Glitch]

ya he owns a car dealership, it's no big deal to him he has to repo cars all the time. He's a no credit check car shop, so he's used to people trying to get out of bills. It's nothing to him, he told me though because they went after me that he won't be working it out with them.

I saw her waiting for the bus yesterday I felt terrible. Her last attempt to talk to me was to tell me she was going after my dad for grand theft.

I have resolved it won't work out, I'm fairly certain she wouldn't want to anyway. I'm mostly worried about all the people she's going to gossip to, it's a small community here - everyone you meet knows somebody you know sort of town. I just am sick of it :( Gotta move away I think haha.

Thank you everyone for helping me work through this ^_^

[CupcakeDolly]

Sooo... you should move here with me!! =3