[Glitch]

Ok so this --- I need advice.

A year, almost a year and a half ago -- I was making a failed real life effort at female friends. I get along with guys a lot better, but I miss that female companionship. I had made friends with this one girl and her best friend. From there I met another girl which kind of trickled into my knowing a lot of people but not actually knowwwing them? Anyway.

We all played around on this online dating site, I was kind of serious about it, one of the girls was purely on it for jokes, and the other one I didn't even know was there. I'll call them by numbers. First friend I made 1, her friend 2, and the other girl is 3.

I met a boy on there, who was pretty cute. I flirted with him a bit and he kept asking to come over and spend the night. I lived with my mother so I told him no. He promptly quit talking to me. Then 1 tells me that 3 was flirting with him, and that he was going to go stay with her for a few days. I told 1 about my confrontation with him and then stated, "that guy is just looking for a place to stay that isn't his house."

A mutual male friend of ours happened to be in the skype chat at the time, and having mis-read it, blurted to 3 "grats on the new boyfriend!" She got pissed and demanded to know who was spreading these lies about her. He told her it was me. She refused to talk to me, but instead talked about me to 1 and the male friend. Things got worse and worse and soon this guy was texting me horrible things which I ignored, because 3 went and told him I was spreading all these lies about him. I had said the one thing to 1, and hadn't even spoken to 3. I don't know what happened, it spiraled out of control so quickly. The next thing I knew friends I didn't even know 3 knew were asking me why I'd spread such slanderous lies about 3. I tried my best to clear things up with everyone I could.

Lo' and behold the guy stayed at 3's house for a couple days, went home and promptly "dumped" her. She blamed me, told 1 I had cursed her relationship and made him not want to be with her when drama was already starting.

The male friend has an exe boyfriend that is friends with 3. My male friend was still missing him and tormented by him and came to me to ask what he should do. I told him to do what he wanted and felt was best. He said he thought he should block the guy but didn't have the courage to do it. I told him if he thought that way he should do it. So he did. Then the exe started yelling at this guy about being blocked, so the male friend said I told him to do it. The exe accused me of being spiteful and just wanting to keep them apart. I have never said more than 2 words to this exe of my friend's.

Now I thought it had been enough time that nobody would care anymore. 3 has a baby with another guy now and is quite happy with him. I have no idea about the exe boy, and I rarely see my male friend. He asked me to go to a bar this last weekend so I went since we hadn't hung out in forever. The first thing he says to me is, "omg you know how I was dating my exe again?" me: "sure?" him: "he kept saying how much he hates you!" me: ". . . " friend: "ya he said you cause so much drama." me: "i don't even talk to anybody but my boyfriend hardly?" him: "i tried to defend you but he said I had no idea how much drama you were spreading."

I ended up crying in the bathroom at the bar. I don't know what to do. I've been so looking forward to this convention I go to every year, but 3 and the exe are pretty big head honchos there. If they're still holding this grudge all sprunge from one comment how will I survive? Why won't this die?? We're all adults! At least all over 20 years old. Arg I don't know what to do. I've tried to defend myself through 1 since she's the only way I have to even talk to these people. I'm terrible at up front confrontation but I would do it if i had to. I'd even forgive 3 for all this nonsense and try to be friends again, I am happy for her to have found someone. I honestly am. I feel like my reputation is being tarnished and I'm powerless to stop it. Bleg.

/rant.

[Espy]

-thinks of how to help-

-fails-

Just go to the convention anyways....That's what I would do, but bring a couple of friends.

[Glitch]

The worst part was my male friend said to me, "I don't know why he hates you - didn't you and 3 have a big fight?" I told him, "ya that you started." He couldn't even remember.

I'm taking my boyfriend D: and hopefully cupcakedolly. Another part is the ex guy started a facebook group called something like "stop con drama." I'm over it, I'm done with that, it was a one time stupid thing, why are they persisting on pursuing it? What makes people do that?

[Serra Britt]

Some people enjoy having empowerment over others so they hold a grudge for far too long. It's a stupid, petty reason, and the only explanation I can think of as to why they don't want to get over it is because of that. I really don't know, being with others who will defend you if they start it up again is good and I think you should try to meet them. Communication is always the first step to making bad things go away.

[Fey]

Stop trying to defend yourself. You did NOTHING wrong, so stop trying to defending it. If they keep bringing it up mention that 'Hey, guess what, it was a misunderstanding and it might be time to move on.' If they can't move on, well other people involved will start to see that you're not doing anything wrong, and that they're just beating a dead horse(for lack of a better analogy). I do agree that discussing it would be best, but they sound like the sort that won't actually have a discussion they'll have an argument.

As to the convention, short of them being the people paying for it/running it there's not much they can do. If they do try to pull something approach another staff member and tell them you're feeling harassed. Trust me, no convention wants that hanging on their neck. After all they're out to make money by encouraging people to spread the word and come back. You can ask for them to keep your name out of it, but even if it does get back to them it'll be their head on the chopping block.

[Glitch]

Last year I was bubbly and pretended to be completely oblivious when I had to ask them any sort of question. Then this other guy who was like friends with my male friend - and not involved in anyway that I knew ---- told my male friend he got put on security with 3. And she said to him, "you're that idiot fag that got involved in all that drama aren't you." (That was what he said to me, I don't know if that's legit)

I do know though, that he reported it to the con chairman, and nothing happened. It's a very small place Idaho. Everyone knows everyone and rumors spread faster than the wind and some people just really like to latch onto them. It's very cliquish. I know this girl (whose quite hyperactive but none the less) moved here. She was way more energetic and spazzy than anyone around and for her outlandish behavior - doesn't get to go to any convention in Idaho anymore. She was glomping people and telling them she wanted to take them to her basement. She was from California . . . I don't know. /rant

Anyway. I think I'll just hurry up and graduate and move to Seattle. That's what I'll do. Everyone in Boise moves to Portland so I should be safe.

[Fey]

That's a shame, sounds like the con chairman isn't willing to do what needs to be done. But, seriously, keep complaining if it is a problem there. They'll have to do something if it's consistent. As for the girl that got banned...I'm really not capable of feeling sorry for her as I've had a lot of friends(and myself) get hurt physically by people that are like that. They really are a safty hazard.

[Gallowsraven]

I agree with the other guys here; don't worry about it. You did nothing wrong and so have nothing to be ashamed of; it's the fault of others for eavesdropping. If they still want to kick up a stink about it then let them; you know the truth, your boyfriend probably knows the truth too, and so do all of us. If they can't let it go and forgive and forget then they're only proving how childish and petty they are.

Go to the convention with your boyfriend who loves you and your friend who loves you and might kill them if they start anything (i know my best friend would, the girl's tiny but she can be so scary!) and enjoy yourself. Don't let the immaturity of others affect your happiness hun, you deserve better than that and you are better than that. Have a little faith and you can survive anything. If they do say anything just smile vaguely and walk away. They'll get tired of it in the end and leave you be and go find easier prey.

[Glitch]

Ya she did probably deserve it, but the other cons didnt give her a chance since its all the same people. xp

[Ginger]

I agree about how Idaho is full of small towns and rumors do spread fast. I've been targeted before, so I decided to spend the rest of my school years by myself. I've moved around quite a bit around here, so I am pretty sure a lot of it has been forgotten.

Screw them. If they can't get over it, they might as well keep on with their childish behavior amongst themselves. Go to that convention if you really want to, but with some friends =) Don't let those people scare you.

[Fizzyology]

Rule number one when it comes to being friends with other girls; they typically end up blowing things out of proportion so let them be stupid. They want to think like that about you and not even bother trying to listen and get their heads out of their bums that's their problem not yours.

I say forget whatever they think, if they were real friends they wouldn't act like this with you.

Go to the convention and have fun as hell!

oh and one good way to get them to shut up and listen if you really want them to is write a letter to them.

The more unconventional-but a little more fun-is duct taping their mouths shut.

[Gallowsraven]

i like Fizzyology's idea . . . anybody got any duct-tape??? 0:-)

[CupcakeDolly]

I agree with Fizzy. Both about the duct tape, and the other stuff. I have both pink duct tape and zebra striped - it's a little more fashionable, I think. =)

And on top of blowing things out of proportion, girls also thrive on drama, so no matter what you say to cool down the situation they're going to drag shit out for as long as they can until it stops being amusing to them. Especially in Idaho, where social lives depend on rumors and scandals and friends and enemies. Those guys probably need to grow up a little more - maybe ten or fifteen years or so - before they'll be able to have a nice, functional social life.